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 Category:  General Script
  Posted: November 17, 2019      Views: 30

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Retired Marine; retired high school teacher; married 34 years; father of three; five grandchildren; one rescue granddog.

He is a top ranked author at the #10 position.

He is an accomplished novelist and is currently at the #21 spot on the rankings.

He is an accomplished script writer and is currently at the #3 spot on the rankings.

He is an accomplished poet and is currently at the #44 spot on this years rankings.

He is also an active reviewer and is holding the #11 spot on the top ranked reviewer list.

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Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
a one scene script
"Scene...Seed Spitting 3" by Bill Schott

Pons = average Joe
Ned = just Ned
Apollo = old Russian body-builder
Pallas = average Moe
Plan 9 = alien
Spitter 4 (Sp4) = itinerate vagrant
Spitter 5 (Sp5) = escaped lunatic

Ned and Pallas have both been eliminated and Spitter 6 is now a crumpled ball.  Plan 9's seeds cannot be verified, though we know they have injured an individual and destroyed property, but he is being given the benefit of a doubt and allowed to participate along with Spitter 4 and Spitter 5.  Pons and Apollo have set up the final leg of the contest -- interactive, popup  shillouettes. They are on the verge of an alfalfa field.

Pons: This final event will call on our contestants to move and shoot as they track, aim, and spit at pop up targets.

Apollo: This game separates mans from boys.

Pallas: (Laughing)  That how they accomplish that in Russia, Apollo?  Har har har.

Apollo:  What this mean? 

Pons:  Pallas and Ned have volunteered to run the pop-up machines that will display targets as the spitters advance through this field of tall grass

Ned: (Looking at button marked TGT 1) So I jist push this here button what says tigged one and sumpin happens? 

Pallas: Yeah, Ned. Your pants fall down. That button says TARGET one,  Jethro. 

Ned: Name's Ned, Dude. Maybe I oughtta impress that inta yer face.

Plan 9: Perhaps we should simply spit at these two cretons.

Spt4: They will be doing that themselves in short order I surmise.

Spt5:  Am I foaming at the mouth again? Nope -- accidently mixed up a LifeSaver with an Alka-selzer. 

Pons: Ned? Are you and Pallas going to be okay? Should I replace one of you?

Pallas: I'm fine, but if you've got a crash test dummy to take Ned's place it might be an improvement.

Ned: I ain't sayin' that no crash test dummy COULDN'T do this job, but I think I can do it just as good if not gooder.

Pallas: I will say that you'd pass as a crash test dummy for sure.

Pons:  Let's just move on and see who's going to win this thing.  Okay, Spitters, grab a dozen watermelon seeds and place them in your mouth.   As you move through the field, targets will appear for you to spit at. The spitter whose seed hits the target first will get a point. There are four targets and twelve opportunities to hit them. Once you are out of seeds, you're done.

Plan 9: How will you know whose seed has successfully hit the targets?

Pons: Great question, sir.  These seeds have GPS receivers installed in them and can be identified by their unique individual program.

Spt4: That is both absurd and ingenius.

Spt5: Haunted and atheistic.

Pons: Okay. Ready -- GO!

Each contestant immediately spits a seed at a random item which is not an intended target.

Pons Okay, guys. Wait for a target that WE pop up. Someone hit this sapling -- Wow, nice aim though. Someone hit that grocery bag that blew in from Kmart, and -- I'll have to double check his, but someone sheared the head off the statue of the revolutionary war general

Ned pulls a lever and a sillouette of Elvis Presley pops up.

Spitter 4 spits two seeds with no success.

Pallas:  (Singing) Return to Sender.

Spitter 5 spits two seeds.

Pallas:   (Singing) You Ain't Nothin' But a Hounddog.

Plan 9 spits one seed and the pop up splinters into a hundred pieces. Everyone is silent for a full minute.

Pallas: Ladies and Gentlemen, Elvis has left the building!

To be continued...


Author Notes

Image from Google.

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