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 Category:  Biographical Non-Fiction
  Posted: July 25, 2021      Views: 267
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BethShelby is retired from the printing and commercial art field. She is married and has four children and three grandchildren. She and her husband presently live in Tennessee.

Painting, photography, and writing are her passion. She has ha - more...

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Chapter 131 of the book Remembering Yesterday
When a child is hurting, the parents hurt too.
"The Down Side of Caring Too Much" by BethShelby

For new readers, who may not have read my author notes, this is written in a conversational way as I talk to my deceased husband. When I refer to someone just as "you" this means I am addressing my husband, Evan.

One of the first things scheduled for the New Year was for you to have a colonoscopy. You had never had one, and you were really worried about it. Your blood pressure often shot up at home, in spite of medicine the doctor had you on to control it. You were worried that you might have a stroke. The preparation for the procedure was rough. You weren’t allowed to eat, so you were feeling weak and nervous.

We got up at five a.m. and were at the hospital before seven for day surgery. We both had splitting headaches, but I could have coffee. You couldn’t have anything. You were very addicted to coffee at that time and usually had many cups in the course of a day.  When the doctor got you prepped for surgery, your blood pressure shot way up. They called your primary care doctor, and he had them put Procardia under your tongue, which made your heart rate go up. Your pressure was 215/118. They had to postpone your procedure, while they worked to try to get the pressure down. They let another patient go first.  Finally, they got it down to 178/107 and decided to go ahead with it. When they gave you anesthetic, you finally relaxed and went to sleep. They removed a small polyp.

Connie came over, because she was worried about you. She was still puffy-eyed from crying over Lenny. She drove you home, and I went back to work. Later that day, the temporary agency called Connie and sent her on an assignment to a local furniture company. Connie hated the job at first, but it soon become apparent the supervisor liked her, and she might be able to work there for a while.

Connie took back most of the things which I had bought her for Christmas, so she would have money to live away from home. In spite of missing Lenny, she wasn’t at a loss for friends. Names I hadn’t heard for a while kept slipping back into the conversation.  Chris was a guy she had liked before Lenny, and she also mentioned doing things with Travis and Scott, both guys from a while back. I guess the word got around fast about her and Lenny breaking up. Personally, you and I both liked Lenny, and not having him around made me sad. Connie was also spending a lot of time with her old friend Leigh Ann from high school.

We talked to Don and learned that he and Kimberly were getting the repossessed and trashed house which they bid on. They were anxious for us to see it, so we went to Georgia on the weekend to check it out. It was in a little town some distance out from Atlanta. The neighborhood was new. There was so much repair work to be done, it was likely no one else wanted it.  The work which would have to be done to restore the place seemed overwhelming, but when you’re young you feel invincible.  We remembered we weren’t that bothered by some of the nightmarish places where we lived when we first got married.

Bill Clinton was inaugurated as president in the middle of January. We didn’t vote for him, but we were willing to give him a chance and see what happened.  Al Gore was his vice president. Bill’s wife, Hillary, was planning to take an active role. She said the country was getting two for the price of one. Many people seemed to dislike her for being so aggressive.

In early February, you decided to go to our place in the country and do some more work on the house. You were nervous about being there alone, so you decided to take our psycho dog, Kokomo. You took the van and drove a couple of towns down the road, before you realized there was no way you were going to make it all the way to Mississippi with that dog.  He was jumping all over you, licking you in the face, and then snarling at you. You turned around, brought him back home and left the following day instead.

Connie couldn’t let the thing with Lenny go. She had sworn she would never be the one to call him, but she decided she had to know if there was any chance of them getting back together. They talked for hours, and they both cried.  He told her that he loved her, but he didn’t think love was enough and he was afraid their relationship would fall apart down the road. He said it was something he had learned in Psychology class.

I suspected Lenny had seen too much divorce, first with his parents and then, his sister. The fact his birth mother had given him up for adoption, probably didn’t help either. It seemed likely he was afraid of serious relationships. Connie said she realized now they would never be getting back together. I couldn’t help but cry, knowing how completely her heart was broken. No parent likes to see their children in pain.

It was not the last pain we would see with our children. Within a couple of months, another of our children would experience a devastating heartbreak.



The book continues with A Year of Discontent. We will provide a link to it when you review this below.

Author Notes
I'm continuing to recall memories of life with my deceased husband, Evan, as if I am talking aloud to him. I'm doing this because I want my children to know us as we knew each other and not just as their parents.
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