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Dig A Pony
| Category: || General Fiction |
Posted:|| November 14, 2012 Views: 972|
It was the Night Before, after the big Rain, which by the way, flooded my residence on Penny Lane, I was preparing for the Magical Mystery Tour, in Kansas City. My whole front yard looked like an Octopus's Garden, so Like Dreamers Do; I felt I could Get By With a Little Help From My Friends. I immediately called Lady Madonna, but got No Reply. I then decided perhaps Lovely Rita, having such a sweet Little Child quality to her, but to no avail. Perhaps she is still in absolute Misery since Mean Mr. Mustard, the Old Brown Shoe, would not Let It Be when she screamed "Leave My Kitten Alone!" He is the one that lives at least Eight Days a Week in the old brownstone, the One After 909, Abby Road. Absolutely a Fool On The Hill. Kind of a Helter Skelter dude. Therefore, I called Dizzy Miss Lizzy, who had been seeing Dr. Roberts, but she was with Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, collecting mushrooms in the Norwegian Woods, not far from Memphis, Tennessee, kind of in Nowhere Man land. Daytripper for sure, but then so am I, for I have always called myself Mother Nature's Son. Nevertheless, let us Get Back to the reason for my writing this work. Ooh! My Soul. I need Money and being a Paperback Writer and bandleader, This Boy needed a Ticket to Ride; no time to Slow Down, for the Taxman was going to be The End of me if I did not give my new Revolution1 a Shot of Rhythm and Blues. Roll Over Beethoven sounded as good a place to start as any. Funny how teaching your dog new tricks, like the Hippy, Hippy Shake can inspire you. Got to really Dig It.
Well, since that paragraph was a little winded, in other words, Long, Long, Long: and we are nowhere near The End, I beg you, Don't Pass Me By. My dilemma is serious and quite entertaining. I'm Looking Through You and do not worry, I am telling it all cause I know Everybody's Got Something to Hide. Well, I continued down the list of my little black book, looking for friends to call, for I truly needed Help as my yard was a Sea Of Holes and preparing to go on tour had become darn near impossible. I dialed Michelle. Oh, that sweet Southern belle. Hey, those words do go together well. I just might throw in some rhyme here, I've Got A Feeling it might lend to the tone of this story. Tomorrow Never Knows and, after all, in the entertainment business there is just Too Much Monkey Business. Well, that little Southern belle had the nerve to say I should have called her Yesterday! Then she made a remark like 'Ya Ya, I'll help you When I'm Sixty-Four!' She started to hang up but I told her to 'Wait, The Two of Us, We Can Work It Out!' Though, I Should Have Known Better. Last time she came over, my adorable but annoying pets, Rocky Raccoon and Three Cool Cats insisted they Drive My Car. They wanted Her Majesty to have the perfect Birthday and thought it would be romantic if I indulged her in chocolate and champagne in the backseat while cruising along Moonlight Bay. I serenaded her with a ballad called Love Me Do, then, Till There Was You. She just rolled her eyes and exclaimed, "Please, Please Me! You Can't Do That, Not A Second Time, ugh." Well then, I reached over to kiss her, she slapped me. I Just Don't Understand and then I said, “I Want to Hold Your Hand, I Wanna Be Your Man." She replied by saying This Was All Too Much and that I'm a Loser. Do not worry, I Feel Fine. However, I really thought after a few days to cool down she would be Glad All Over that I called. Oh, well, no sense fretting about it. I'll Cry Instead, later.
Next on my list was Eleanor Rigby, but the funny thing about list, you often forget to update them. Her funeral was beautiful and I remember how Sweet Georgia Brown
delivered a fine tribute called A Day In The Life. Yes, To Know Her Is To Love Her. Now, she Slumbers Golden in Strawberry Fields Forever.
Next on my list, Sexy Sadie. Now as the name aptly describes She's A Woman And I Love Her. I was hoping someday we could Come Together and this is the perfect opportunity. She is also an expert on Savoy Truffle, such a subterranean edible delight. One taste of those scrumptious morsels and it will make you Shake, Rattle and Roll. I remember well when first we met, way Across the Universe, Back in the USSR, Because there was a big rally for truffles, Being for The Benefit of Mr. Kite, on his truffle farm called Pepperland. He’s well known for those magnificent edible fungi, but a mighty storm of Blackbird pigeons Flying high, dove right into his shanty fungi shack creating a big hole in the roof, which compromised the delicate nature of growing these kinds of mushrooms and ,thus, stifled his means of averting a nuclear holocaust during The Cold War. Don't ask me Why he thought such a scheme would work. Anyway, I was game, for I was determined there would be no Pepperland Laid Waste and while standing on his roof with my lead guitarist, Maxwell Silver Hammer, Fixing A Hole in that shanty shack, I Saw Her Standing There. It was then I realized all my Searchin' was over.
Wow, she answers.
“Good Day Sunshine! There’s A Place I have to get to and I really need your help.”
“Well, thanks for calling, That Means A Lot, but really, That’ll Be The Day, Teddy Boy! I thought I was your Honey Pie, but no, you had to hit on Another Girl that night in the Glass Onion. You sure had me fooled; telling me Happiness Was A Warm Gun. I’ll show you a warm gun. I've got a real revolver. Come around here and you will have to Run For Your Life, Bad Boy."
“Well, That’s All Right (mama).” Yes, I’m Down but I cannot Carry That Weight, for I've always been Free As A Bird.
Next on my list, Julia, such a sweet Girl.
“Hey, Hey, Hey, My Bonnie. What You’re Doing?”
“Uh, well, I sure haven’t been Crying, Waiting, Hoping! Do You Want To Know A Secret?”
“Honey Don’t. I Got To Get You Into My Life. Don’t Let Me Down. I Need You."
"You need me? I’m So Tired. I finally threw away your Blue Suede Shoes!”
“But, sweetheart, You Really Got A Hold On Me.”
“Well, Twist and Shout, Ready Teddy. You Won’t See Me. The secret is I Got A Woman. So, if ever I Call Your Name, it’ll be a cold day in hell. Don’t Bother Me!"
“Well, okay, That’s All Right, but really, Your Mother Should Know. Love You Too. Good Night.”
Oh, goodness! I’m Beginning to see that my little black book is looking bleak. I Forgot To Remember To Forget.
Oh, now here are two, Long Tall Sally and Ruby Baby. Mighty fine sisters. In fact, too high and mighty. Every time I hung around them, I Fell into their goodness and found myself singing Oh, When The Saints Come Marching In. Better not call.
Well, here is Maggie Mae. Umm, let me think. Yes, she was one of those Brits who spoke funny and has a crazy father named Earl who is rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. He claims to be The Earl of Oxford and hailed as the expert on sonnets.Yeah, And Your Bird Can Sing. No thanks.
Gungalo, oh my, sigh! Now, that girl could make me Cry For A Shadow. Such a romantic poetess. If my memory serves me correctly her Father was the Sheik of Araby and her bodyguard was big dude that looked like a Sumo wrestler. The year was 1969, I walked into The Purple Rain Bar, minding my own business and there she was upon the stage reciting The Ballad of John and Yoko. I was mesmerized and after a few drinks, I walked up to her and said, “Sigh, I would love to give you All My Loving, cuz All You Need Is Love.” She stepped away from the mike, took a big sigh and said, “Everybody’s Trying To Be My Baby.” Then she pulled her golden pen from the top of her ear and on a bar napkin wrote From Me To You, Besame Mucho! Suddenly her father came from behind the stage curtains, snapped his fingers, and out came that big dude. I held out my hand as a gesture to shake the dude’s hand and said, “Hi, I’m Newsome, also known as Sergeant Pepper, nice to meet you.” He looked at me with those beady eyes, folded his arms, shook his head side to side causing his rotund cheeks to jiggle like jello and said, “Well, Soldier of Love, I Am The Walrus and The Word is leave Sweet Little Sixteen alone, or I’ll grind you like pepper, got it?” Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be calling her.
I am beginning to feel as if I should just call the Boys. Yes, that is exactly what I Will do.
“Hey Jude, how are you?”
"Hey, Hey Bulldog! I’m fine. And you?"
" Who? Bulldog? No it's Newsome here."
"Sorry dude, I'm eight miles high. Wassup?"
"It’s sure been A Hard Day’s Night. Hey, do you think you, Loben, and Fleedleflump could manage to help me get to the airport?”
“Well, we're All Together Now plotting a new Revolution, but fictionwriter Fleedleflump took Loben’s Cluckem for a spin, after feeding him psychedelic mushrooms, and his long trail of tail feathers got caught up in his turbo engine. Loben was fit to be tied and we had to secure him with Chains."
"Sounds like a motley crew to me."
"Yep, we are a band on the run. Kind of warped from all that life in the fast lane. Don’t think we can help you buddy, but I have a suggestion, You Know What to Do?”
“No, I’m at a loss.”
“Thought of that, but when she was In My Life, she had a spiritual echo. She said we were two lost souls in a fish bowl and went to India to find her Inner Light with Rami Devi. That lasted approximately twenty- four hours. Last I heard, she joined the Celtic~Soul Clan of Maureen and Artemis, publishing firefighter calendars and creating chocolate delights. Eventually she ran off with Another Guy whose name was Blue Jay Way. Kind of squirrely, so no thanks.”
“Well, sorry dude, what about Smurphgirl?”
"She moved to Mexico to hone her cooking skills with Cayenne pepper and to write a novel called Los Paranois."
Back to the drawing board
My, my, Prudence! My Dear Prudence! Surely. She Likes Me Too Much and such a beauty and brains to boot. I remember that rainy day at the bus stop. I've Just Seen A Face, a whiter shade of pale, the face of an angel. There she stood, my Baby In Black, something from a dream. I walked up to her and trying to Act Naturally, I simply said, "Foxy lady, please share my umbrella and Can You Lend Me Your Comb?" She removed her glasses, unpinned her granny chignon, let her hair fall wildly, looked at me with those sexy eyes and giggled. I knew then she had a real Devil In Her Heart and this was Real Love.
"Good Morning, Good Morning, sweet monkem! What are you doing?"
'I'm Only Sleeping."
'How's Miss Piggies?"
"Getting Better, She and Polythene Pam are basking in the mud. This storm really lifted her spirits. The million cows March of The Meanies demanding equal rights, insisting that more ham be on the market, left her a bit shaken."
"Ain't She Sweet?"
Yes, she is. It's been Another Hard Day's Night. What's up?"
"Well, I really need your assistance. I'm preparing to go on a Rock and Roll Music tour with my Sargeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts' Club Band and I am a bit closed in from all the water Tammy Gail dumped on me. All I've Got To Do is get down That Long and Winding Road to get to the airport, but it's impossible.
"And just where is this event?"
"Here, There, and Everywhere."
"Tell Me What You See"
" Every Little Thing like Yer Blues."
"Yes It Is, I feel as if I'm Gonna Sit Right Down and Cry, right here, While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Please, please, help me, I'll Give You My Money, that is, when my ship comes in."
"Oh Darling, don't fret. You and money, don't make me laugh? Baby, You're a Rich Man, but You Never Give Me Your Money. However, In Spite Of All The Danger, I'll Get You. I'll Be On My Way. It Won't Be Long. I'm leaving home now and I'll Follow The Sun."
She's Leaving Home now, Hallelujah, I Love Her So!
"I Want To Tell You, Thank You Girl!"
"No problem, Any Time At All, glad I could help."
"One more question."
"Can you Tell Me Why you are so willing to do this for me?"
"Oh, sweet Mr. Moonlight, you do remember that name, right? Our love was like a Matchbox. I just remember how your kiss was like A Taste Of Honey and we would Rip It Up even to The Bitter End. You do remember the last words you spoke to me when you told me you were going to the Outback to raise Kangaroos?"
"No, what did I say?"
"You said,’ I’m Happy Just To Dance With You, but I Got To Find My Baby.' Your baby being Aussie.Then you blew me a kiss and said ’I'll Be Back',as you rode off into the sunset. It was as if I was watching the Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill. I knew then, All Things Must Pass and Life Goes On."
"Now I know, I Love You So, my Prudence. See you soon then."
Oh goodness, the weather is getting worse, I feel like all my hopes are floating in The Sea Of Time. It’s getting late, very late. Where is she? I’m getting worried. Suddenly, I hear a big commotion down the hall.
"Newsome! Newsome! I'm here, in here. “
I knew immediately it was my Dear Prudence, for she only calls me by my real name when she is doing Something that might catch me off guard, like warning me she is not an intruder. She is such a genius! Obviously the doors couldn’t be accessed due to the high water, so She Came in Through the Bathroom Window!
"Baby It's You! My brown eyed girl, Don't Ever Change! Just how did you get here?"
"Well, come here and see. Look out your window."
“Not there silly, not at the two silhouettes on the shade! There,look there.”
And there it was, bigger than Big Bird, our huge shiny Yellow Submarine.
"Prudence, how clever. I haven't seen that thing since our Revolution 9, in Atlantis! “
"Well how did you think I was going to get here, my pinball wizard, on a magic carpet ride? Let us board, Step Inside Love, no time to waste.
You first, my Wild Honey Pie. By the way, I cannot thank you enough and When I Get Home, I want to get you a gift. So, if I could get you anything in the world what would it be?"
“Well, I could Dig A Pony”.
Beatle Up! contest entry
2614 words and 246 Titles. I know it was long, I hope you enjoyed and to the wonderful poets and authors that I mentioned, without your permission, hope you are not offended. Thank you for reading..jlsavell
Beatle Up! Write a poem or a story that contains at least 20 titles of Beatle Songs. All kinds of poetry welcome. See requirements. Stories welcome too! Requirement for both is that you can let a young adult read it. Most of all, have fun!
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