by Thomas Bowling
Ray White: Good morning. I'm Ray White.
Ray Black: And I'm Ray Black. You're tuned to WSRQ talk radio Sarasota and this is the Ray/Ray show.
Ray White: Let's get right to it this morning. We have Carol on the line and she has someone that she wants us to revenge punk. Carol, tell us what happened and why you want to revenge punk this person.
Carol: About a year ago, my sister, Sandy, did something terrible to me. She's always been high-strung and overreacted to things. When we were kids . . .
Ray White: Carol, we don't have time for the Gone With the Wind version. You need to get to the point.
Carol: Oh. Okay. About a year ago my sister had been drinking. She lives in San Diego and thought it would be a good time to call me. She forgot about the time difference. When she called, I was sound asleep and didn't hear the phone ring. As I said, She's high-strung and thought there must be something wrong with me because I didn't answer. She panicked and called the Sarasota police and told them something terrible had happened and they needed to send someone to the house right away.
At around 6:00 A.M. my husband and I heard someone pounding on the front door. A man with a megaphone shouted This is the police. The house is surrounded. Come out with your hands up.
We were scared to death. We went outside with our hands in the air. My husband was in his boxer shorts and I was wearing a nighty. A S.W.A.T. Team was in the yard with their weapons pointed at us.
They told us about my sister's phone call. My husband was furious.
Ray Black: Of course, who wouldn't be?
Ray White: I want to strangle your sister and I don't even know her.
Ray Black: Okay, Carol. Stay on the line. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to send your sister a Ray/Ray reverse prank. Our sister station in San Diego is going to work with us. They're going to send a fake S.W.A.T. Team to your sister's house. I think enough time has passed that she won't connect the dots. The fake cops will reenact your experience. This should teach Sandy a lesson.
Ray White: Either that or she's beyond help. Let's see if San Diego is with us yet.
Mad Max: Good morning Ray/Ray. This is WSDQ San Diego. I'm Mad Max from the Madness in the Morning show. What are we up to today?
Ray Black: One of our producers called and filled you guys in on what we need.
Mad Max: Always glad to help a fellow radio personality.
Ray Black: Great. Is your crew on site?
Mad Max: Everyone is in place. We're just waiting on you to give the go ahead.
Ray White: Okay. We're going to take a short break. When we return, we will have the first ever cross-continental Ray/Ray reverse punk.
After several commercials, the show returns.
Ray White: We're back. Time to start the action. Remember kids we're trained professionals. Don't try this at home.
Ray Black: Mad Max, are you ready?
Mad Max: Affirmative.
Ray White: The eagle has landed. All systems go. Repeat, all systems go.
From San Diego, loud pounding can be heard.
Bullhorn: This is the police. Come out with your hands up.
A few minutes go by without a response.
Bullhorn: Come out. We need to ask you some questions.
Sandy: Go away! You've got the wrong house.
Ray Black: This is great. She's scared to death.
Ray White: This is working out better than we could have hoped for. She could have just walked out to see what was going on.
Bullhorn: We're at the right place, Sandy. Come out so can ask you a few questions.
Sandy: No! Leave me alone.
Bullhorn: We can't do that, Sandy. We just want to talk to you.
Sandy: Go away or I'm calling the cops.
Bullhorn: Look out your window. We are the cops.
Ray Black: Oh, man. This is priceless.
Ray White: We want to thank Carol for bringing this to our attention.
Mad Max: How long do you want us to continue?
Ray Black: Just a little longer. We need to teach her to mind her own business and quit interfering in her sister's life.
Mad Max: Okay. Here goes.
Bullhorn: Sandy, this is your final warning. Come out or we're coming in.
There is no response.
Mad Max: Wait a minute. The guys are telling me something's happening.
Three gunshots ring out. A pause followed by two more shots, then silence.
Ray White: I think we've lost the feed. Was that gunfire?
Ray Black: I think it was a car backfiring.
Ray White: I go to the range. I know gunfire. Someone's shooting. Somebody call San Diego. Find out what's going on.
The radio is still silent.
Ray Black: Oh, God. If anyone in San Diego is listening, call this station and let us know what's happening.
Suddenly some noise can be heard from San Diego A panicky woman speaks.
Woman: Oh, no. She's shooting at us. Ralph's dead. Several others are wounded. Help!
Ray White: Oh, God, no! This is terrible. This wasn't part of the plan.
Carol: What about my sister?! Is she okay?!
Ray Black: We're terribly sorry. We don't know the situation yet. I hope everyone's okay.
Ray White: God, how could this happen?
Mad Max: Hey guys, guess what. You've been reversed punked. We didn't send anyone to Sandy's house. She's here with us in the studio. We told her about the plan and she agreed to come in and help us. The whole broadcast came from the station. Let this be a lesson to you. Never punk a punker. This is Mad Max from WSDQ San Diego. C-YA.