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 Category:  General Script
  Posted: October 19, 2019      Views: 26

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 ABOUT
BILL SCHOTT 

Retired Marine; retired high school teacher; married 33 years; father of three; five grandchildren; one rescue granddog.

He is a top ranked author at the #60 position.

He is an accomplished novelist and is currently at the #21 spot on the rankings.

He is an accomplished script writer and is currently at the #1 spot on the rankings.

He is an accomplished poet and is currently at the #41 spot on this years rankings.

He is also an active reviewer and is holding the #41 spot on the top ranked reviewer list.

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Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of violence.
Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
Excellent
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a script scene with Pez and Pallas
"Scene at a Honey Dew Dipping 5" by Bill Schott





Pez and Pallas have found a few items of concern while dipping out their uncle's septic tank. They have decided that it's time to question their Uncle Zeb.

Pez steps onto the old wooden porch and raps on the door.  The panes of glass in it rattle as he knocks. The door is barely secured as the hinges move in the door jam and the door knob seems to be more of a temporary handle than a closing device.

Pez(Entering through the door)  Hey, Uncle Zeb!  You here?

Zeb: I'm in the barely living room, Pee.

Pallas
(Grinning)  He called you Pee.

Pez:  I brought PeePee with me.

Zeb: Hee hee!  Pee and PeePee, my fav-o-rite relations.

Pallas:  My name is Pallas, Uncle Zeb.


Pez:  He's named after a titan.

Zeb: No he ain't. Hell, I'm the one what named him.

Pallas: Yeah, I'm named after the Titan who was the father of Zeal.


Pez: Irony thy name is Pallas.

Zeb: Irony wouldn't a been a bad name. I actually was namin' you Pall Mall, but my arthritis was actin' up and it looked like I had wrote Pall's Ass. I done what I could to correct it, but they came and grabbed them papers away afore I could fix it.

Pallas: (
Mouth agape)   What?

Pez: That was a tale I hadn't heard. Super funny at Pallas's expense.

Zeb: I named you too, Pez.

Pallas: No explanation needed there, huh?


Pez: You name anyone else we know?

Zeb: Just me.  I was born with the name of Zebediah. I always hated it, so I changed it to Zeb. It took a while for people to get used to it. Mostly me. People'd call out 'Hey, Zeb, yer damn pants is down!', but I'd be thinkin' they was talkin' to some other nimrod.

Pallas: (
With a somber face)  So proud to be your kin, Zeb.

Pez: Okay,  Uncle Zeb; what happened to Aunt Sookie? 

Zeb: She run off with our mailman.

Pallas: Did they take the bus or the sewer?


Pez: Hold on there, PeePee.

Pallas:  Not my name, dude.

Pez:  Oh, right. Hold on there, Pall's Ass.

Zeb: That sounds better ev'ry time I hear it.

Pallas: Did you chop up Aunt Sookie and the mailman?


Pez: Subtlety thy name is Pall's Ass.

Zeb: No, I never chopped up Sookie or Kiefer Pancake.

Pallas: Kiefer Pancake? The mailman's name was Kiefer Pancake?


Pez: I think it was a nickname for Panaczowitz.

Zeb: Yeah, somethin' like that. Anyways, they are both livin' in a out-a-the-way town in Kiefer's home country a Cantstandastan.

Pallas: Cantstandastan?  Really? Why not Oz? That's easier to say, and just as real. 


Zeb: Don't really know, PeePee.  She just said that's where they was headin'.

Pallas:  Did they follow a yellow brick road?


Zeb: Not-a-tall. I drove 'em myself to the airport and they caught a 357 to Cantstandastan.

Pallas: They caught a -- 357?  Is that a Freudian slip there, Zeb?


Zeb:  No, I think Boeing makes that one. 

Pez: Okay, let's say that this story is true. We have found some incriminating stuff in the septic tank that leads us to believe that somebody has been flushed down your toilet. 

Pallas: (
Having walked over to the bathroom door and peaking in)  Oh my God!

Pez: What is it?

Zeb: I wasn't expectin' no company, so's I didn't get a chance to spruce up the place.

Pallas: It looks like a slaughter house in here!

Zeb: You ought to a called first.


To be continued....



 

Author Notes
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