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    Elementary School Memoirs Contest Winner 
 Category:  General Fiction
  Posted: November 27, 2019      Views: 81

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 SUSAN LARSON 
IN PRINT 


 ABOUT
SUSAN LARSON 

I wrote a human interest column for three newspapers and front page feature stories for a monthly publication in Metro Atlanta for nearly 20 years. I currently free lance for a local magazine. I conducted workshops in schools and correctional facilit - more...

She is a top ranked author at the #10 position.

She is an accomplished poet and is currently at the #99 spot on this years rankings.

She is also an active reviewer and is holding the #37 spot on the top ranked reviewer list.

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Catholic school pre-Vatican II
"Elementary Nunsense" by Susan Larson



I survived one year of Catholic school along with one year of hell on earth.
In third grade in 1956, after an art lesson the nun displayed all our pictures on a bulletin board. One picture was clearly superior to all the rest. The kid next to me said,
"I wonder who drew that one?"

I replied, "I did."

The nun overheard me, walked over and ripped off my picture, tore it to shreds and threw it in the wastebasket.

She glared at me and said, "This is what you get for bragging. Bragging is a sin."

Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

At the end of the year it was time to make May Altars. These were shoe boxes turned on their side in which we placed a statue of the Virgin Mary. We were free to decorate them any way we wished, then required to kneel down and pray to them every morning for the whole month. If we didn't, it was a sin. Some days I forgot.

Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

Being on the creative side, when I made my May Altar, I twirled some tissue paper and came up with some unique flowers that I taped around the edge of my box. The nun complimented me on how pretty they were and asked where I learned how to make them. Here's where some of the hell came in.

If I tell the truth, she'll chastise me for bragging and throw my May Altar into the waste basket. If I lie, well, isn't it a pretty big sin to lie to a nun?

Bless me Father, for I will have sinned.

I didn't want to be humiliated in front of my classmates again. And also, because I'd spent so much time on that shoebox, I wanted to recycle it for my June Altar in which we placed a picture of the Sacred Heart, an image of Jesus's heart being pierced with a crown of thorns and dripping with blood, which we were also required to pray to every morning.

So, I chose to lie. I told the nun I saw the directions in a magazine.

I sinned. She smiled.

But now, I'm gonna sin again, dammit.

I swear in front of God and everybody I designed those flowers myself.

Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

Do I feel any remorse?

None
Elementary School Memoirs
Contest Winner

Recognized

Author Notes
Picture credit: Bing images
Pays one point and 2 member cents.

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