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 Category:  General Script
  Posted: January 19, 2020      Views: 63
Chapters:
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CRYSTIECOOKIE999 

Have English B.A. with Creative Writing Emphasis from the University of Utah. Came back to Fanstory.com after 6 years gone to practice more genres of writing and get writing prompt ideas. I have written over 1500 poems, twenty songs, and sixteen scr - more...

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Chapter 7 of the book The Legend of John Shane
Humorous western script Act 2, Scenes 2, 3
"A2S2,3 Legend of John Shane" by CrystieCookie999




Scene 2

SHERIFF RICHARD MOORE's office. Three or four jail cells are painted with a perspectivedisappearing offstage. SHERIFF MOORE is seated at his desk, reading a history book.

JOHN
(Offstage.) Sheriff! Hey, Sheriff! (Enters slightly out of breath.)

SHERIFF
(Stands to greet JOHN). Yes, I'm Sheriff Moore. What's your hurry? I was just catching up on some reading.

JOHN
(Catches his breath.) Well, I got a female cattle rustler outside, draped over my horse.

SHERIFF
Alive or dead?

JOHN
Alive, of course. I'm just here to see justice done. Caught her in a band of rustlers while they were tryin' to steal MaryAnn Claussen's cattle. I don't have any proof of who the rustlers were workin' for, but MaryAnn said she was worried about someone's motives here in town.

SHERIFF
Well, now, that's mighty interestin'. Who is the person you suspect?

JOHN
To be honest, it's the banker, Cole Black.

SHERIFF
Hmm. But you don't have any proof.

JOHN
(Subdued.) No, but I don't know what kind of proof you need. I have an idea that Black is after MaryAnn's land for some reason he's not sayin'.

SHERIFF
Hmm. Cole Black is not always scrupulous, but he doesn't ever do enough to be considered a law-breaker. I guess I would need some kind of documentation or evidence to show that he has been involved in something he shouldn't.

JOHN
Figures. Well, I'll just come back when I get proof. In the meantime, come out and get your future prisoner.

SHERIFF
Sure thing. We'll see if she matches up to any of the wanted posters I have around here, but since she was caught in the act you can bet she's still gonna be under lock and key for a while.

(JOHN and SHERIFF MOORE exit Stage Right, Lights down.)



 
Scene 3

Back at the Claussen Farm, in the barn where SHORTY is sleeping and snoring. SAM, IVAN, and PETE sneak in from Stage
Right and circle round SHORTY. SHORTY continues to snore.

SAM
(Draws his gun, points it at SHORTY.) Bang, bang, you're dead.

SHORTY
(Snores louder. Might mumble something unintelligible in his sleep.)

SAM
(Looks at IVAN and PETE, shrugs, then points gun upward and fires. Sound of gunshot ricocheting off two or more surfaces can be heard as SAM, IVAN, and PETE duck.)

SHORTY
(Sits straight up immediately.) What was that? (Sees SAM, IVAN, and PETE.) Uh oh. (Raises hands.)

IVAN
(Pulls his gun out as well.) You'd better say, "Uh oh." All right, we want to know where Willie is. We're here to rescue her.

SHORTY
Aw, she's not here. John probably turned her in to the Sheriff by now.

SAM
Sheriff Moore? What did this John do that for? Doesn't he know who we are?

SHORTY
(Indignant.) Well, what gives you the right to take an outlaw out of custody? Don't you know who I am? (Drops one hand to point a wagging finger.)

SAM
Nope.

IVAN
No.

PETE
Sorry.

SHORTY
(Stands up to talk directly to the other three, leaves hands down for the duration.) My name is Shorty. But only my friends get to call me that. My enemies have to call me by my FULL name.

IVAN
And what is that?

SHORTY
(Proudly.) Bartholomew Vanderhoffenschmidt.

SAM (Laughs.)
IVAN (Chuckles.)
PETE (Guffaws.)

SHORTY
What? What's so funny?

SAM
Who in the world would name their son Bartholomew Vander-not-too-swift?

SHORTY
Hey!

SAM
Oh, wait. Maybe I heard wrong? Did you say Bartholomew Vander-lots-of-spit?

SHORTY
Now, just a minute.

PETE
Wait. I've got one! I've got one! Maybe the other kids used to call you Vander-chicken-lips? Am I right?

SHORTY
Uh, actually...

SAM
No, I bet they used to call him Vander-wooden-chip, and his father was so proud because he actually thought they were calling him a chip off the old block!

SHORTY
Hey, you leave my father out of this!

IVAN
How about Vander-huff-and-puff? Are you gonna huff and buff and blow my house down? You know, like the story of Peter and the Wolf and the Three Little Pigs in Russia?

SHORTY
That's NOT my name, and that's not the right title!

SAM
Vander-pants-were-split!

PETE
Vander-hop-and-skip! (Hops and skips to illustrate.)

SHORTY
All right, you've had your fun. And anyway, you're just common outlaws. I've seen your kind before. You've got nothin' to be proud of.

PETE
Huh? Just common outlaws? Hey, Sam, I don't think he knows who he's dealin' with. Why don't we tell him who we are?

(Song) "Braggin' Rights"

IVAN
So where are you keeping Willie, and what is your real name?

SHORTY
(Loses temper.) For the last time! Willie is not here, and my real name is Bartholomew Vanderhoffenschmidt, but if you can't remember to call me that, then it's Mister Shorty to you!

SAM
(Sighs.) All right, boys, guess MISTER Shorty here is telling the truth. It means we'll have to go bust Willie out of jail tomorrow, but let's head back to town and send word to the boss we were too late to get her here.

SHORTY
Ah ha! And your boss is...?

PETE
Aw, even I'm not stupid enough to fall for that one.

(SAM, IVAN, and PETE exit Stage Right, keeping their guns trained on SHORTY until they are gone. A few seconds later...)

MARYANN
(Offstage.) Shorty? Shorty, are you there? Are you awake? (Enters from Stage Right, still dressed in long nightgown and robe.) I thought I heard a gunshot, and I came to investigate. Are you all right? Oh, there you are.

SHORTY
Yeah, it was a gunshot you heard. Those cattle rustlers came back lookin' for Willie, the one John took prisoner.

MARYANN
Why, Shorty, you might have been killed!

SHORTY
Oh, they were just playin' games with me. I think they're on the chicken side.

MARYANN I wonder if they were gettin' paid by Cole.

SHORTY
Could be. They were about to say the name of their boss, but they held off. They also mentioned something about gettin' Willie out of jail tomorrow, but they didn't say when.

(JOHN enters Stage Right and takes off his hat to approach MARYANN and SHORTY.)

JOHN
Well, I didn't expect you two would still be awake.

MARYANN
(Lays a hand on JOHN's shoulder.) Oh, John, I'm so pleased you're here. Those cattle rustlers came back!

JOHN (Alarmed.)
They did?

MARYANN
Yes, but Shorty here held them off.

SHORTY
(Proudly.) Yep, I sure did. Uh, well, to tell the truth, they left of their own accord. But I found out they're going to try to bust Willie--that is, the other rustler--out of jail tomorrow!

JOHN
Hmm, one of us should warn Sheriff Moore first thing in the morning.

MARYANN
But we still can't prove those rustlers were hired by Cole.

JOHN
(Takes off hat, scratches head.) Aw, I don't know how we are ever going to get any proof against Cole Black that he's puttin' MaryAnn here under duress to marry him.

MARYANN
(Sighs.) It looks hopeless. (Pauses.) Unless? (Snaps fingers.) I know, there's gotta be a reason why Cole wants to marry me. Even though he says I can have the land in my name, what if there's somethin' about it he knows about and I don't? Or maybe it's just somethin' about me or my family. We need to search his bank office and see what he's up to.

SHORTY How are we gonna do that? I assume his banker's office is locked, bein' as how it's inside a bank.

MARYANN
Well, I know which pocket Cole keeps his keys in, and tomorrow Cole is supposed to be takin' me to lunch at a restaurant in town. What if you, Shorty, sneak in behind us, stay hidden in a corner table, and I find a way to get Cole's keys away from him, then pass them along to you? That way you can sneak out, go with John to open the bankin' office, rummage through everything, and see what you can find? Then bring the keys back to me before Cole even notices they're gone, with any luck. What do ya think?

SHORTY Sounds like more work for me. (Sigh.) But I'm willin' to help ya.

JOHN
I'll ride over to warn the sheriff first thing tomorrow, then I'll head over to the blacksmith's to pick up my horse long before you two head out for lunch.

MARYANN
Good! So we have a plan. So everything is set. Good night, John and Shorty, and thanks for bein' so brave in the face of danger.

SHORTY
Shucks, ma'am, it's part of the job.

JOHN
(Mildly irritated.) Shorty, am I ever gonna get the first word in?

SHORTY
Sure. You can talk all you want right now. I'm goin' to sleep. (Immediately lies down and covers himself with blanket.)

JOHN
Well, I might as well take advantage of this opportunity to thank you most kindly, MaryAnn. We don't often get a true opportunity to help such a beautiful and gracious person like you are. You are surely makin' your parents proud, the way you've handled yourself and your inheritance.

MARYANN
Oh, John, thank you so much. I...I do miss my family, and your bein' here has certainly gone a long way to easin' my loneliness.

JOHN
Well, MaryAnn, if this all works out, I'd like to keep you from bein' lonely ever again.

MARYANN
Oh, John.

(JOHN and MARYANN hold hands between them.)

MARYANN
(Reluctantly.) Well, I better be gettin' back to the house. We have a busy day tomorrow. (Starts moving toward Stage Right.)

JOHN
Good night, MaryAnn.

MARYANN
Good night, John.

(Lights down.)

The script continues with Legend of John Shane A2S4,5. We will provide a link to it when you review this below.

Author Notes
There are 2 scenes here in contrast to a customary single scene because scene 2 of Act 2 was pretty short. This is a musical melodrama, but I have no recorded version of any of the songs yet. Again, the full name of this script is The Legend of John Shane: Tale of the Rustlers' Trace.
Pays one point and 2 member cents. Artwork by seshadri_sreenivasan at FanArtReview.com

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