FanStory.com - Scene at a Diner 3by Bill Schott
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a Pons and Ned script
Scene at a Diner 3 by Bill Schott







Previously:
Pons: As the story goes on, the cook convicts are sidelined, one at a time, trying to get all of the doughnuts eaten.
Fed: I smell Oscar.
Server: No, sir. Oscar got off at noon. It's me that stinks..
Pons: Well then comes the big finale.

--------------------------------
Characters:
Pons = bright dude
Ned = dimmer
Fed = rotund fellow
Hed = brainy
Server = central casting


The scene continues still in a diner. Four men are still sitting in a concave booth at center stage.


Ned: Afore ya tell us how yer Dirty Doughnut fi-nal-lees, how's 'bout we settle on what sauce we're gettin' ta slather on'ur tongue.
 

Fed: Doesn't the tongue come with a preferred sauce?

Hed: Perhaps I could put it on a cracker. The sauce, of course, not the evidence of a cow silencing. 

Pons:  I think the tongue will surprise you, Heddy.

Hed:  Not unless it speaks.

Server: I've not heard it speak, but Oscar might have.

Ned: I s'pect Oscar ain't heard nothin' neither. 

Fed: Oscar? Is he the stinky one?

Hed: No, that's this fellow here. (
pointing to the server)

Pons:
(to the server) What sauces come with the tongue, sir?

Server: There is a choice of twelve.

Ned: Twelve? Wow, that's close ta how many dirty doughnuts in Pons's stirry. 

Fed: It's the same, Ned. Twelve and a dozen are both the same number.

Hed: (
looking to Pons with a smile) My, my. This is a day of marvelous discovery.

Pons: (
looking to the server) Sauces?

Server: Pickled carrot, peppered grape, bacon mustard --

Ned: Holy cow tongue, them's some tasty soundin' saucies.

Fed: Makes my mouth water.

Hed: My eyes are watering.

Pons: Sauces?

Server: Pickled carrot, peppered grape, bacon mustard --


Ned: Them saucers is aginnin' ta sound the same.

Fed: Say them as often as you like.

Server: I memorized them together, so I have to start at the beginning every time.

Ned: I gotta do the same thin' when I'm whistlin' a tune what I stopped. Instead a startin' in the middle, I gotta go back ta the beginnin'.

Pons: Sauces?

Server: Pickled carrot, peppered grape, bacon mustard, jalipena cranberry, spinach paste, succotash puree, fish-eye swirl, creamed sauerkraut, rhubarb jam -- 

Hed: My word, do we need to finish? 

Fed: Mercy, yes.

Ned: As long as there's ketchup, I'm good ta go.

Pons: Okay. Let's hear the last three and then I'll finish telling you about the movie.


Everyone nods in agreement and looks to the server.


Server: Pickled carrot, peppered grape, bacon mustard, jalipena cranberry, spinach paste, succotash puree, fish-eye swirl, creamed sauerkraut, rhubarb jam, radish relish, gummy worms, and honey. 


To be continued...



 

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© Copyright 2011 Bill Schott All rights reserved.
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