- Snow Focusby RichardFann
This work has reached the exceptional level
A poem based on wordplay.
Snow Focus by RichardFann


Early morning, and the eerie lightness
Through the curtains
Beckons me. The bough on my tree
Is brought low by the weight
Of the snow, and I sense a bright
And clear winter’s day in prospect.
Perfect for photos and a prize winner
For the January club show.
I dress and slip out
Through the slight gap of the door,
Take a short walk to the woods,
Overwhelmed by the sheet of white,
And the distant seam
Of a silver stream.
Everything looks different
And good.
I set the body and lens on the tripod
To catch a robin
Seducing me
From a wicket fence.
And all the time approaching
Is the fading light and
The deepening shades of grey.
Soon the gentle, oh so gentle,
Flakes are falling.
And soon to my alarm
The wind is whipped into a storm.
I tried to stand and suffer
But instead surrender
And collect my equipment
To look for a grotto
As a haven from the snow
To hide me and my freezing frame.
Alas, my leather jacket is stained
By the howling
Cutting chafing
Racing strafing
Raving scathing
Blistering tornado of chill cold air
Slicing at my life.
Then appears my wife,
Headlights blazing, shouting in a rage at me.
But I reply, calm and unarmed:
‘I cannot understand a word you say.’


Author Notes

The two dots at the top of the text are spacers,
to allow some white space for the snow.

This was a task set at the writer's workshop today.

Starting with the word 'snow' I had to list another 10 words,
with each new word relating in some way to the previous word.

Then I had to write a poem using the 11 words, altering a word if absolutely necessary.

The words were 'snow; bough; brought; bright; slight; short; sleet; seam; storm; stand; stained; wand; wind.'

'Wand' did not fit so I left it out. Also 'sleet' is changed to 'sheet.'

This is it.

The illustrative poem shown to us was:
by Carol Ann Duffy.

She cuts up her lines, as I have done in verse one.

But I could not keep it up, preferring to normal poetic flow.
As I think my way is easier to read.

Thanks for the picture. I feel fits well with the poem.

The club is the camera club.

There is a lot of wordplay in the poem.

I am starting to use more wordplay in all my work,
so as to add interest for the reader,
and to give more character to the phrases and sentences.

The very last line is inspired by Carol Duffy's last line:

'You don't understand a word I'm saying, do you?'

PS I have just realised, after my 'nth' edit, there could be a romantic interpretation in the immediate vicinity of 'shades of grey'. This was not intended.

But I cannot be bothered to change the 'shades of grey' phrase
so as to completely eliminate the possible double-entendre.


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