- Fairy Tale Weddingby Mark Valentine
This work has reached the exceptional level
A grim episode
Fairy Tale Wedding by Mark Valentine
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Warning: The author has noted that this contains the highest level of language.
This is the church, this is the steeple
Where Mary McCann once murdered two people. 

The big day for her little sis,
So why does Mary cry?
‘Cuz she remembers George’s kiss -
When he was still HER guy.
But then one day she brought him home
To meet the family.
Her sister, Sue then got to know‘m,
And couldn’t let him be.

Mary had a little man, whose love was pure as snow,
Or, so she thought, until George strayed and gave Susan a go.

When George and Sue began to date,
Big sis was cast aside.
‘Twas then that Mary knew her fate
Was not to be his bride.
Not long after, Mary learned
That they’d gotten engaged.
She smiled for show - inside she burned
With vengeance and with rage.

Georgie Porgie pudding and pie,
Kissed the girl, now he must die.

As Maid of Honor, Mary had
To help with preparations,
And stand and watch as Mom and Dad
Gave Sue their adulation.
She did her duties as she ought,
Though painfully unpleasant,
And then one day she went and bought
A special wedding present.

Something borrowed, something blue:
A Smith and Wesson .22.

For weeks the planning went on thus,
She found it most upsetting
That everyone made such a fuss
Over her sister’s wedding.
So now you know why Mary cries;
It’s wedding day at last,
And Mary knows that sunny skies
Are not in the forecast.

Red sky at morning, sister take warning.
Your dress of white will be red tonight.

The organist plays Mendelssohn
As all eyes turn to Sue.
Mary’s hand now trembles some,
As killer’s hands will do.
The congregation “oohs” and “aahs”
Beholding Susan’s beauty,
As Mary smiles through tight-clenched jaw;
The Maid of Honor’s duty.

Here comes the bride, brimming with pride,
And there stands her sister, a time-bomb inside.

The handsome groom, the pretty bride
Both standing at the altar,
With Mary at her sister’s side,
Praying her nerves don’t falter.
And now the ceremony starts -
This is Mary’s chance!
She shoots her sister in the heart,
And shoots George in the pants.

George be nimble, George be quick.
George took a bullet in his dick.

She watches as George screams out loud,
And as Sue’s face turns ashen.
No “oohs” and “aahs” now from the crowd,
(Guess blood is not in fashion).
And as the life leaves Susan’s eyes,
Mary smiles at her.
She shoots again at George’s thighs,
Then asks him, “What’s the matter?”

This little piggy went to market. He should have stayed with me,
So this little piggy’s going to fucking die – excruciatingly.

They rushed the couple to St. Blase
Where Sue was DOA.
George writhed in pain for several days
Before he passed away.
And as for Mary, she was tried
And charged with double homicide,
And no-one watched, and no-one cried,
Last night at twelve when Mary died.


There was a young lady who lived in a cell,
‘Til capital punishment sent her to hell.

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Author Notes
The basic structure is 8-line stanzas with an ababcdcd, etc, rhyme scheme. The meter uses alternating lines of iambic tetrameter and iambic trimester (with some lines having additional feminine ending syllables). The last half of the last stanza is set apart, in both meter and rhyme scheme, for emphasis.

Between each of the 8 line stanzas, there is a rhyming couplet which is a spin-off of a fairy tale (or similar) rhyme.


© Copyright 2011 Mark Valentine All rights reserved.
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