Strictly Speaking by bob cullen
150 Words Flash Fiction contest entry
I remember being a virgin. Strictly speaking, retaining that status wasn't my choice. The constant rejection I experienced still haunts me. I felt just like the egg trapped in a hen's delivery tube, I just couldn't get laid.
I came up with all sorts of ideas. I wrote a poem. Strictly speaking, I didn't write it I paid my sixty-two year old maiden aunt who works in advertising to write it. She signed it, a first-timer. I printed twenty-seven copies and placed one in every senior girl's locker.
There's nothing as good as taking to manhood
A boy who's still a true virgin
Think how he'll treasure his moment of pleasure
And you won't need time for urgin'
In a sense the story ended there. Strictly speaking, it didn't. I had to address the class and deliver an apology. And, I'm still a virgin. Open to offers, though.
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