The scene opens on a desert landscape. There is a thumbnail moon in the pink sky. Two men stand face to face holding a rabbit. They each seem to be struggling to get the animal away from the other man.|
Man1: Unhand my son, sir!
Man2: It's a bunny, Bart.
Man1: Flesh of my flesh.
Man2: It's a rodent,
Man1: His name is Ralph.
Man2: His name is dinner.
Man1: This planet has changed my son into a bunny.
Man2: No. This planet has affected your mind, Bart.
Man1: He's not my son?
Man2: No, he's not.
Man1: He's a rabbit?
Man2: No, Bart.
Man1: What is he?
Rabbit: (Disembodied voice) It's me, Bart. Butch.
Man1: (Looking at the other man) Butch?
Man2: (Smiling) Yes, my friend.
Rabbit: No, Bart. He's not me. I'm me. He's -- the rabbit.
Man1: (Looking at the other man) You're the rabbit?
Man2: Do I look like a rabbit, Bert?
Man1: Ah ha! You called me Bert. My name is Bart, Rabbit.
Man2: What are you talking about, Bert? Your name isn't Bart.
Rabbit: Yes, Bart, Your name is Bart. You are Bart. I am Butch.
Man1: (Looking at the other man) You're not Butch. You're a rabbit.
Man2: Well, of course, Bert. We're both rabbits.
Man1: We are?
Rabbit: You are?
Man2: Yes. We are the rabbits of Lepus 5.
Man1: We're the rabbits of Lepus 5.
Man2: We are the Rappin' Rabbits of Remus 5.
Man1: You mean Lepus 5?
Man2: You're confusing us with the Leapin' Lizards of Lepus 5.
Rabbit: He is?
I'm a Rappin' Rabbit from Remus 5
on this desert ball we're stoppin'
Man1: Wait! Butch? Why are we here?
Rabbit: Hey, Bert! It's me -- Bart.
Man2: Hey, Bart.
Man1: But -- I'm Bart.
Man2: No, you're Butch.
Man1: I'm Butch?
Man2: Yes, Butch. We're all Butches.
Rabbit: No. I'm Bart.
Man1: Hey! Did this rabbit just say something?
Man2: (Grabs the rabbit and wrings its neck) Yeah. It said --Eat me!
Man1: Right on, Butch.
Man2: You got it, Butch.
Man1 and Man2:
We're the Leapin' Lizards from Lepus 5
it's so funny
on this desert ball so sunny
The two men continue rapping as they pull the rabbit apart.