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Prize Patrol Strikes Again
Trolling For Suckers by Begin Again
They Could Have Said... contest entry




Ms. Jessup

Hello

 

Kelly 

Congratulations, Ms. Jessup.

 I’m Kelly from Publisher House 

It’s my pleasure to inform you 

that you’ve won an all-expenses 

paid vacation to Isle of Franco.

 

Ms. Jessup

Really? You must be joking?

 

Kelly

No ma’am. This is your lucky day. 

How are you feeling right now?

 

Ms. Jessup

Well, since you asked, the golden throne

 and I have become the best of friends today.

 Must have been that sauerkraut and sausage
  I ate last night. Suppose the hot sauce on 

       my scrambled eggs didn’t help.

 

Kelly

Oh! 

Ummm! 

I’m sorry to hear about your disposition. 

 

Ms. Jessup

My disposition is fine! 

I didn’t wake up on the wrong side

 of the bed. I never saw my bed.

 

Kelly

Right! 

Well, I was talking about the vacation,

 a trip of a lifetime. 

 

Ms. Jessup

Trip of a lifetime, huh? 

Where is this Isle of Franco?

 

Kelly

I’m not sure of the exact location,

 but I know it’s a tropical paradise.

 

Ms. Jessup

Seriously, you don't know?
Hang on!

My sister is a travel agent. 

 I bet she can tell us.

 

Kelly

Well, I’m really on a time crunch 

 I’d like to get you signed up

 before someone else grabs it.

 

Ms. Jessup

What? How can someone else

 claim my vacation if I won it?

 

Kelly

Your name was drawn for the vacation

 but you have to submit a check for $439.00

 to cover bar fees and miscellaneous charges.

 

Ms. Jessup

I thought you said it was all-expenses paid?

 

Kelly

It is after you submit your check.

 Nothing else will be charged to you. 

 

Ms. Jessup

What if I don’t drink?

 

Kelly

Well, your check covers miscellaneous charges.

 

Ms. Jessup

Miscellaneous charges? That’s vague.

 What else would I be paying for?

 

Kelly

Well, unless you live in the Miami area,

 of course, you would have your transportation,

     hotel charges, concierge tips, parking fees, dinner

      and taxi fees to get to the docks. 

 

Ms. Jessup

So my check for $439 covers all of those things?

 

Kelly

Not exactly. Those charges would be your own personal ones.

 

 

Ms. Jessup

Let’s see if I understand this!  

Everything is paid except for bar tabs, 

miscellaneous items and numerous charges

including a hotel room, concierge tips, transportation,

 dinner, and parking fees. Is that correct?

 

Kelly

Oh, I forgot to mention the short cruise

 from Miami to the Bahamas. You will be 

responsible for purchasing that ticket.

 If you wish to share your vacation with

 someone else, you or your guest would be

 responsible for all their expenses.

 But just focus on that beautiful sandy beach

 with waves lapping at your toes 

while you sip on pina coladas. 

 

Ms. Jessup

Pina Coladas that I have to pay for, correct?

 

Kelly

Come on, Ms. Jessup, don’t be so negative. Think about -

 

Ms. Jessup

All the money I have to pay out

 for this all-expenses paid trip? 

 

Kelly

Think about all the memories and 

the relaxing time you will have.

 

Ms. Jessup

Actually, I’m thinking more about my bathroom

 and less about this trip.

 Oops! Glad we don’t have smell-a-phones

Kelly

     Oh my….
My husband and I checked out the trip. 

                We had the most fantastic time. Nine months later 

we had proof of all the enjoyment we had.

 Doesn’t that sound wonderful?

 

Ms. Jessup

Not really!

My babies are four-legged. 

 

Kelly

Four-legged?
Oh! Oh, I get it! Dogs! Duh!
Well, I didn’t mean you would have babies,

 but you would have an exciting time regardless.

 

Ms. Jessup

One question - you and your husband went on this trip

 and had such a magnificent time,

 but you can’t remember where it’s located? 

 

Kelly

Guess we had too many of those tropical drinks.

 Ha Ha! 

So what do say, can we complete 

this vacation form and get you scheduled?

 

Ms. Jessup

I think I should let you talk to my husband,

 Police Sergeant Mike Jessup.

 Just one second, I’ll get him.

 

Kelly

Oh, Ms. Jessup, I am so sorry,

 but my boss just said someone beat you to it.

 They’ve signed up and you 

unfortunately have missed out. 

     Have a great day! Bye!


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