- a Snow White Variationby pragmatic poet
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a Snow White Variation by pragmatic poet


Oberon reined in his horse, reached back to swing
Eveleth around and down to the ground, where she fell backwards in a rather undignified pile.
After scrambling to her feet, she yelled, "You can't leave me out here like this!"
Oberon scratched an itch. "I have to. The Queen said I was to take the prettiest girl out into the forest and leave her there, and that's what I did."
"From the castle, you big dope; not my house!
"Oh, no, you're not going fool me. I looked around in the castle, and there was just a dirty girl in rags."
"That was her!"
"Well, she didn't look too pretty to me."
"You came to the wrong place! I'm not the one you wanted!"
"Oh, yes you are, 'cause I always liked the way you just sat around, so you could stay nice and clean."
"That's because Cinderella did all the housework!"
"I don't know anything about Cinderella. All I know is I have been kind of a watching you."
"Oh, you are so stupid! You have me mixed up with Snow White, the Queen's step daughter!"
"Well, I think you're the prettiest in the town alright, and the Queen said to take the prettiest girl."
"But, you can't just dump me off in the middle of nowhere!"
"I have to because the Queen said I had to. Now, you just let go of my horse. I brought you here 'cause I happen to know there's a large shack over there that you can stay in."
"A shack!"
"Uh-huh. Not too far - over that way - a real nice one."
"I can't live in a shack!"
"Well, you're going to have to, leastwise until the Queen says you can come back."
"The Queen is not mad at me, you big dummy!"
"Maybe so, and maybe not. Now, you just go along there, and find that shack."
"You can't do this to me!"
"Yes, I can, because the Queen said so and I have to do what the Queen says, or she'll get mad at me, and then I'll have to take myself out into the woods and leave me there. Huh! Huh! That's a pretty good joke, don't you think?"
"You'd get lost in your own shirt."
"Well, maybe when she quits being mad at you, I can come back and get you."
"You have it all wrong, you big stupid clod! You've grabbed the wrong person!"
"You can call me all the names you want to, but I knows what I have to do. Oh yes, I also brought this here bag of things you might need."
"Things? What 'things'?"
"Oh, scrub brushes and cleaning rags."
"And lots of soap."
"You'll probably have to keep house for the seven little miners that live there."
"I don't know anything about housekeeping!"
"Well, you're going to have to learn pretty quick. Now, I have to get back. You take care."
With a twinge of panic setting in, she watched woodsman disappear. "But, you have it all wrong," Eveleth mumbled.
'This can't be happening'. She grabbed the bag and headed in the direction the big dope had pointed. She'd get even with Cinderella and Snow White later, but right now, with a storm approaching, she'd better find that shack.
She smiled evilly; thinking how mad the Queen will be when she discovers the big dope took the wrong girl.
'When he discovers his mistake, he'll be back tomorrow to get me. I just have to survive the night.'
After stumbling along for a while, Eveleth thought she saw something silhouetted in a clump of trees. She blinked and looked again. It was the shack -- no -- a large log house almost hidden by the forest.
She ran up and knocked on the door. When there was no answer to her third rap, she cleaned a spot on the window and peered through.
It crossed her mind that no one could possibly live here, because the place was such a mess. Should she go in? Maybe she should wait.
A flash of lightning followed by a simultaneous crash of thunder, decided the situation. She hurried inside, slammed the door and leaned against it.
The overwhelming stench of dirty dishes, unwashed clothes and garbage nearly drove her outside.
At that very moment, her heart froze when she heard the distant voices of a male choir singing, Hi-Ho. Hi-Ho. Its home from work we go....


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