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Reviews from
Between What's Black and White


The Gray

  26 total reviews 
Comment by
Sissy
 
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Hi David,

I haven't been on Fanstory much these days, the summer is always a killer work-wise for me, and I'm just too tired to write! Hopefully now that it's September, I can get back to picking up a pen.

You know how sorry I will be when you go. I'm forever begging you to stay. I've learned a lot from just reading what you post. You made me interested in poetry again, and I took a long hiatus from it. I started with Shakespeare in high school, then gave up reading it for college texts and the mind candy of popular ficion.

If you are ever coming up to NY, let me know. There's a bookstore you need to go to. It's probably one of my top five favorite places in NYC, and I think you'd love it. And if you publish anything, please let me know. I'm so buying it! :)

Now, onto the review. If this is true, good for you. Road rage is just not worth it. There are too many crazy people out there!!!! I'm a NY driver to the core, but I'd never get out of my car and challenge someone.

Loved the flow of this one, and the use of 'hair' and 'heir' in the second stanza. Great ending two lines, as well, David.

Keep in touch, and take care,
Sissy


 Comment Written 12-Sep-2008



reply by the author on 22-Sep-2008
    Thank you, my friend. If you'd like to find me, I'm on Facebook under David Nelson Bradsher. I'll miss you, but I have your email, too.
Comment by
JustJenny12345
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Absolutely brilliant!! Just superb, you go from strength to strength. This is definitely one of my faves of yours. Good luck David, I hope you do well in whatever you do xx


 Comment Written 03-Sep-2008



reply by the author on 03-Sep-2008
    Thank you very much, my dear Jenny. I didn't even know you were still around here. Send me your email addy if you like. I'd love to stay in touch.
Comment by
RapturedHeart
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Wow, this is excellent. I think this may be the first (and possibly last) of your works I've seen - so sorry to hear this.

One time a lady followed me all the way into the parking lot at work to give me a blast. She was enraged because I'd cut her off (and, really, I had - but...). Was a little unnerving, to say the least.

This is VERY good writing - seems a tragedy you have to go. LOVED the last stanza most, and especially the last two lines. All the best in the future for you,
Heather


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, Heather. I appreciate your sentiments and kind words.

    David
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  26
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  31
 
Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Hello Marillion what else can I say every time I read your poetry, I'm in awe of your talen wring poetry.. Sorry to hear you leaving Fanstory.
With you poem the road rage was well expressed in -
iambic pentameter.
Looks like you were the smart one and had your rage well under control.
Now you take care
Gert


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 31-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, Gert. Best of luck to you. David

reply by Gert sherwood on 31-Aug-2008
    Thank you David
    smiles
    Gert
Comment by
Stephen C Winter (Vs
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
i am afraid Road rage sounds pretty much the sam,re here in the UK as in the USA....We also have shoping rage...train rage ext....Modern life ah.
Really enjoyed your poem right on Red, it certanly put into words the encounter with the Modern day man...With his attitude, Nice One.
Kind regards
Steve


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Thank you very much, Steve. Yes, I'm afraid Road Rage is universal.
Comment by
Wendyanne
 
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Hi David. I am sorry to hear that you are leaving and I think I will be too in October when the membership runs out as I have very little passion for writing these days. I would love to keep in touch though so I can still read your work as you are one of the best poets around. As for this poem, it is excellent. You made me smile and I enjoyed seeing how you constructed this piece. Excellent.


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Thank you so much, Wendyanne. You're a talented poet (and a sweetheart) and I'd hate to see you stop writing. I've taken some time away from it, too, but it always comes back. Be well.

    David
Comment by
Diny
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
David I would love to keep in touch- I will miss your work and your outstanding talent- this was a fun read and expressed well even with Evile Eddy the editors snafoo's however thats spelled- haha Hey I will always be grateful for your wit your writing and your kindness As always write on- Diana (Diny)


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Diana-
    You're one of those I'll miss the most. It seems like we've known each other forever, and I treasure your friendship. Be well, and please check in by PM with your email addy. The VS will come out next fall and I'd love to be able to notify my old FS friends about it.
Comment by
rama devi
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  151
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
LOL

This is witty and entertaining. Well presented with red background. There are no flaws to fix, except what the mischievous EDDY MONSTER does not allow you to work out in the editor. I enjoyed the underlying rage combined with witty tone. So clever.

This stanza got a chuckle from me:

Ten seconds later, my resolve was known.
The only “snapping” was my seat-belt buckle—
no surge of rage (nor red testosterone);
no righteous fist to save my challenged pride;
no teeth dislodged, no scraped and bloodied knuckle;
just the continuation of my ride.


And the closing verse too. Your last two liens are SUPERB

Under my breath, I whispered, “Semper Fi”—
not to the Corp, but to my state of grace.

You are certainly leaving with a bang!
So sorry you are leaving this site, but I do understand. You wil be missed by many, I am sure. Will PM you too.
.

Warm Regards,
rama devi


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Thank you so much, my friend. You know where to find me. :)
Comment by
joelh605
Level 2 Pro
I'm dogmatically certain about much.
Hey, it's MY flaw - go get your own!
 
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Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
Since my own $5.95 (or whatever) isn't going into the coffers, I don't have and sixers to pass around. But this is certainly that, if not far better.

I tailgated some young punk who was inexplicably slow, on the way to work one morning, and at a stoplight he got out and challenged me to a fight; I simply said No to him, and that was it. My daughter was in the car too (8th grade) so he didn't feel the same need to spar that he would have otherwise. So it isn't always the ineluctable heir with Grande Carre etc. who wants to go faster :-)

See you on the flip side,

"Gil"


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    What a surprise, Gil. Thank you very much, my friend, and as you see I'm following you out the door. Be well, and we'll talk soon.

    David
Comment by
L K Pinaire
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 27 -
Right on Red
David,

You are a wonder. I'm going to bed, but I can't wipe the smile off my face. Your poems do that better than anything I read, and I will miss them dearly as I recently have. Great stuff. Never quit.

Larry


 Comment Written 28-Aug-2008



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2008
    Thank you so much, Larry. I've appreciated your loyal reading over the years, and I'll miss getting your thoughts. David

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