Save the Children!
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Reviews from
The Ice Princess


Love, Hate, Conflicts and Fear

  29 total reviews 
Comment by
2009-2014 Poet Of The Year
adewpearl
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
He spent the next several hours, decorating - delete the comma
"I love you too." Max - you forgot the period
"Thank you." but her eyes - you need a comma instead of a period there
Did you see the Christmas tree and all the presents? - add the question mark
What a lovely happy ending - great emotion that sounds natural and spontaneous and dialogue that sounds totally natural for all the characters. Brooke


 Comment Written 17-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2009
    Brooke

    Thanks so much for catching those nits. Looks as if my fingers got faster than my brain...I am pleased that you enjoyed the ending. Smiles, Carol
Comment by
rhymer1
 
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
Whew! Talk about a fantastic Hollywood ending. I felt like I was about to see fifty dancing girls, 100 jets flying overhead and a moon launch. Great fun writing this one, I bet.
slainte, rhymer1


 Comment Written 17-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2009
    Rhymer

    I am glad that you enjoyed the ending...I hope a Publisher does too! Hollywood ending for sure....Smiles, Carol
Comment by
rhymer1
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
Whew! Talk about a fantastic Hollywood ending. I felt like I was about to see fifty dancing girls, 100 jets flying overhead and a moon launch. Great fun writing this one, I bet.
slainte, rhymer1


 Comment Written 17-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2009
    Rhymer

    Got this one twice...So I'll just say thank again!!!

    CArol
Comment by
rhymer1
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
Whew! Talk about a fantastic Hollywood ending. I felt like I was about to see fifty dancing girls, 100 jets flying overhead and a moon launch. Great fun writing this one, I bet.
slainte, rhymer1


 Comment Written 17-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2009
    rhymer

    This must be Hollywood or I'm dreaming...You are here for the third time...Carol
Comment by
pixiemillie
 
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
Well what a happy ending to this story. Trent's a big winner at the tables and disappears into the night, Macy's found, Hanna's fixed a delicious dinner, Max gets the girl- -proposes and has the wedding and honeymoon planned--well you wound this one up well. Thank you for the enjoyable read- -still would like to know what became of Trent.


 Comment Written 16-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 16-Oct-2009
    Pixie

    Maybe he'll show up in some gambling hall or rehab in another sequel...Gives me something to ponder on. Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment by
Turtle... who?
 
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  Rank:  44
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
Hey Carol, I read through this chapter,

It was very quiet. (might be able to delete this and add an adjective to the first sentence?)

Mother and daughter were still snuggled deep beneath the covers, fast asleep. (delete were,... more active maybe? changes this sentence from a state of being to an action, I think)

and playing Santa Claus (could delete claus? if every word counts)

This is about as happy an ending as could be... super lovey gushy and sweet. I Liked that you kept it in Max's perspective, that was pretty cool, and his playing santa was a cool way to cozy up with hanna and macy.

You write like a bandit!






 Comment Written 15-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2009
    turtle

    I am half way through and have cut out 100 words. Hope to finish the last half tomorrow. Thanks again for all your help.

    Carol
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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  Rank:  5
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 Rank:  38
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
St. Louis Chapter 28 part 1
Logan and his buddy make plans to rescue McKenzie.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#5 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
Oh yes. I love happy endings and this was perfect.

Macy squeezed her tightly. (tightly squeezed)

After all, she went through. (no comma here)


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2009
    Barbara

    Thanks so much for catching those spags. I will fix asap. Glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks again...Carol
Comment by
wierdgrace
 
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
What a wonderful story, and I did read the other chapters to catch up, this reminds me of a christmas I did have, and I see so much character in the dialogue you show you, I see why you have so many readers, great writing.


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2009
    wierdgrace

    Thanks so much for the great review. Glad you enjoyed the story. CArol
Comment by
Rain Chapman
 
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
::Sigh ... Sniff::

I love a happy ending. The touch with the carolers singing 'Joy to the World' was just about perfect. Excellent work, I enjoyed reading your novellet very much. Your Romance rocks!

Best of luck in the contest.
Lorraine :)


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2009
    Lorraine

    Thank you for the uplifting vote of confidence. I couldn't have asked for more. Saying "Your romance rocks" made my day because I feared writing this story because I have never written romance. Thanks again...Carol
Comment by
Queenise
 
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Rating of Chapter 15 -
Merry Christmas to All
I love this sweet and powerful love story with all of it's ups and downs,troubles and cares and the joy. It is so true to life that you feel as if it is really a family you know. Maybe your own. Good rhythm and pace,flow and imagery. Characters are believeable and seem so real. Would recommend. Blessings. Good job. Queenise


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2009



reply by the author on 15-Oct-2009
    Queenise

    That's quite a compliment to know that your characters came alive within the story. Thank you so much. I appreciate the comments. Carol

reply by Queenise on 15-Oct-2009
    You're so welcome Carol. Keep it coming and keep your characters living and owning the space girl. Queenise
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