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Reviews from
THE TRINING Book Two


General Doctrex & the Thousand Miles to Qarnolt

  42 total reviews 
Comment by
--Turtle.
 
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Leap of Faith (Pt 2)


I read this a while ago, but I don't often check the front pages to catch when it came back up for review. I enjoyed these four chapters, just figured to let you know. Only thing I wanted to mention:

"Good bye(,) my love," arcing my back as I'd seen them do in the
(need the addressment comma)

; )



 Comment Written 21-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 21-Mar-2016
    It didn't show on the front page since it was a re-post that was less than 2 years old (by a couple of weeks). Thanks for spotting the lack of comma. Is fixed.
Comment by
lancellot
Level 1 Pro
The goal in life is to be better today
than you were yesterday.
 
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  Rank:  39 (+1)
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  Rank:  15
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  Rank:  15
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  27
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Leap of Faith (Pt 2)
Well, if you gotta go, go in style. Hmm, your universe in very engaging, dimensional shifts, intermixing souls and the binder: eternal love. A great read.


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    You do see this, though, as an earlier time in the story? I'll start moving forward from the Palace Sunday or early next week. Thanks for reading this, Lance.
Comment by
michaelcahill
Level 1 Pro
rumours and innuendos
rumours of innuendos
 
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Leap of Faith (Pt 2)
Wow. What a dramatic climax. Just had to pop by and check this out. I must learn to write like this. It kills me you can capture my interest in a story I know so little about just with dialogue and action, but it happens every time I visit. So, book three now. I'm slowly understanding what an undertaking it is to really write a story the right way. I think that's a step along the road, yes? Great work with this as always. Just saying hello. mikey


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2016
    This of course is the climax of book two. I am almost completed with the climax and completion of book three. I shall start posting it Sunday or Monday.
Comment by
foxangie123
 
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Leap of Faith (Pt 2)
You know I know you are amazing. You know I think your wonderful and have taught me so much. You know you rock the house of authors caz you doooooo... Hugs.


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
    Bless you, Angie, for reading and reviewing. Glad it struck a chord in you. I haven't been around much since I have jury duty.
Comment by
F. Wehr3
 
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Leap of Faith (Pt 2)
Well done, Jay! Thanks again for reposting these last final scenes. It does answer some questions, but it raises a few more. I am still not sure if Pondria and Doctrex are the same person or some other type of bond. The wound suggests he is at least tied to him in some fashion. A reincarnation of sorts. Am I close?

"Well, The fact was you wanted to die. No capitalization of the.

Take care,
Russell


 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
    Many thanks, Russell. A reincarnation is about as close as we can get to it. Don't forget he DID die the first time he jumped, and it was during that time he ended in the Pool or Arlangua where he joined with Pondria (which was a kind of chance encounter). The moment he was resuscitated by the fireman, the chain was broken. That was the reason he had to go back and do a better job of it. The reason it was so important though, was that according to Kyrean prophesy, Pondria and Axtilla were to destroy Glnot Rhuether.

reply by F. Wehr3 on 16-Mar-2016
    Yes, he was resuscitated. That makes sense! Thanks, I am clear now.
Comment by
Mabaker
 
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Leap of Faith (Pt 2)
Hi Jay, another great chapter in the Doctrex saga. I've read most of them and enjoy immensely. There is a reason you are at #3 spot, and Doctrex is the reason. I really do love your writing and it is a privilege to read your works. Regards Anne.


 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
    Anne, I'm blessed to have you reading and enjoying the book. Your reviews are so generous and kind. Again, thanks.
Comment by
chasennov
 
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Leap of Faith (Pt 2)
I will Do Anything For Love ... But ...A chapter in the book THE TRINING Book Two.Leap of Faith (Pt 2).' Steady as she goes, Jay. Another excellent read you have created in this chapter, and as faultless as usual. Very well done.


 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
    Many thanks, Chas. Glad you enjoyed it.

reply by chasennov on 15-Mar-2016
    You are most welcome, Jay.
Comment by
BruceMiller
 
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Leap of Faith (Pt 2)
I'm not a big fan of the fantasy genre, but I saw you name, I remember reviewing something of you before; I not sure that it was this story. This certainly was interesting, although I don't know what to think of the ending. I should have seen the earlier chapters. Cheers.


 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
    Oh, I agree with you 100 percent. This chapter should never be read as a stand alone. Rather a depressing way to end the evening, eh. Thanks for stopping by, though.
Comment by
--Turtle.
 
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Black Web Over Viktor's Heart
Hi Jay,

Like I mentioned, I read the last four chapters all the same day in one sitting, and I had enjoyed them, made a bunch of mental notes and was curious and appreciative to how this is going to factor in with the end of book 3:

Noticed all those: And, But, Then, .... but you know those need fixing.

I liked the slow revelation of the depression, the upcoming shock therapy possibility, the added dimensions of Viktor being in a mental hospital... I wondered how Axtilla got into Barbara... or how easily she broke him out of the place. But those kind of answers would likely come from reading from the beginning.


She wore a grim expression when she first left the parking lot, but now *she allows herself* to relax a bit more. She looks relieved. (paused on the certainty of the statement on it's effect on pov. Part of me figures this is only Doctrex's assumption, I think the allows is what paused me)

The dashboard clock gleams 10:52. Why is that important? I
(Attention to the time worked well for me through this, when I read this all together, I noticed it and liked the backwards affect it had on my understanding it's significance)

release it so it dangles again from her fingertips. (again dangles)?


I hold the watch, chain, and her hand[,] in both of mine for a moment, smiling at her[,] before sliding her gift into my palm.
(suggest delete commas)


She stares[,] solemnly over the top of her steering wheel, but
(why that comma?)


"There was enough (time?) to warn you about with your drifting


immediately, and pebbles pop against the undercarriage.
(This chapter pulled me along as I read it, I liked the details like this. Nice sound/ texture detail here)

Again, thanks for this pointer where to focus for a honed picture for the effect of the end of book 3. I really enjoyed these last four chapters of book 2. It was a pleasure, I often have my brain turned up to high alert that I think I've been forgetting how to read with my mental auto correct filter on (where I catch only things that if I saw it in printed book, I would really grumble and pout.)


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2016
    Thanks, dear Turtle, for your suggestions, especially with the commas. I thought I'd taken care of the connective conjunctions before posting this. I know I have to go through ALL the chapters from book 1 on and make those corrections.

    I took care of everything.

    The question you had about adding "time" to a sentence ... that wasn't what Axtilla was trying to say to him. See if my change in the sentence gives it more meaning. It had nothing to do with time, but does it still not resonate with you? Let me know.

    "There was already enough to warn you about with your drifting back, and I had no idea his arrogance and Viktor's would clash so openly."

    Again, thanks, Turtle! You're the best!

reply by --Turtle. on 14-Mar-2016
    I think I see where I mistepped when I read that sentence and wanted to add the word time, I might have simply imposed my expectation of how to answer the question:

    Why didn't you warn me?

    There wasn't enough time with you drifting in and out. (my brain expected)

    There was enough time to warn you about the drifting in and out.

    (I just missed the 'with' and lost context.)

    I think the change you made does force the brain to consider her answer as a length of list to discuss and not time available, though the misread might have been my own brain trip.
Comment by
JTStone
 
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Rating of Chapter 32 -
Black Web Over Viktor's Heart
So, You're bringing us back to a point where the stories collide.
I remember reading a portion of your story where Viktor/ Doctrex jumps from a bridge, in suicidal fashion in order to cross the realms.
This is deep, to die to yourself to live on the other side.
Not only does your story take me into the mind of your protagonist--it delves into the psychiatric make up of the character. Thought and dialog have always been a continuous flow, an extremely admirable trait to your writing. Because of this insight, now I'm seeing what the seer meant in the garden scene in book III, about who the character really is.
I may be wrong, but I think I'm getting it. Beneath the layers, Viktor, is regret, Doctrex, is hope, he is in reality, Pondria, destiny...
Whether or not I'm guessing or reading into it, this is a fascinating tale Jay.
Jimmy


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2016
    Wow, you've brought it to a level of symbolism that, years from now I'll say, "Yeah, that's what I meant. Seriously, thanks for delving so deeply into this, Jimmy. You are indeed an asset to me.
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