Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

6 Word Poetry
Deadline: Today!

Cinquain Poetry
Deadline: In 2 Days

3 Line Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 3 Days

Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 5 Days

80 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 6 Days


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
This Time - That Time


A ambitious woman is shown how wrong she has been

  12 total reviews 
Comment by
Debbie Pope
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  50
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  59
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  144
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 50 -
Synopsis of Book 2
I have read one of the chapters before. To fill in holes though, I did read the synopsis of earlier chapters. That is one complicated plot. That is a good thing. It must be quite a task to keep the reader at the correct setting.You do a good job of this. I had read chapter two and was a little lost. Much better this time. I particularly like the camaraderie between the friends as they plot. Made me like your characters. Good job.


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2018



reply by the author on 14-Mar-2018
    Thank you so much for reading my synopsis and for letting me know if it was helpful or not. It's the first time I've written one. lol. Big hugs, Sandra xx
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  35
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  11
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  13
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  10
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 49 -
Synopsis of Book 1
That was a terrific synopsis of what sounds like an awesome tale. I must try to get it read soon. This sis is for your work with this reduction and for the general story that it represents. Happy day.


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 22-Jan-2018
    Thank you, Bill! What a lovely thing to say. It's selling very well, I'm delighted to say. The one I'm in the middle of now, is the second in the trilogy. One more to go. Thanks again, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment by
Ric Myworld
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  38 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  64
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 50 -
Synopsis of Book 2
Yeah! I'm happy to find out that I really hadn't missed that much and still a pretty good idea of everything that had happened. Thanks for catching me up so that I can enjoy every new chapter. :-)


 Comment Written 21-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2018
    I thought it a good idea, and good for me too! lol. The next part is out now, and you'll be right up to date. Thanks. Ric, lovely to see you back, haven't seen you for a while. Big hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xxx
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  7
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  39
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
Football Chapter 1 part 1
Katherine meets Reggie
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#7 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 50 -
Synopsis of Book 2
I enjoyed reading your synopsis. I am a lousy synopsis writer. If I were better, I'd probably have more books published. I'm sorry I can't help improve it. I thought it was good.


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
    I hate them too, but you wrote a wonderful piece at the beginning of your book describing the characters and their place in your story. I never forgot that. Thank you, again, my friend. xxx
Comment by
apky
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 50 -
Synopsis of Book 2

Hello Sandra,

Thanks for the lovely and comprehensive snopsis.

I'm afraid I don't know how to ask other to review who are not members of FanStory. But maybe somebody else knows and will respond. If you find out how to do that, let me know - I'd like to do the same with reviewers.

Warmest regards,
Aki


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
    Thank you, Aki, I'm so pleased you found them useful. I've had some help from Phyllis, but I've failed dismally. She said she'd swim the ocean and sort it for me! LOL, she is a dear. I don't think I'll let her do that though. the water is too cold this time of the year! Thank my friend. :) Sandra xx

reply by apky on 21-Jan-2018
    Well, then you have to sort it yourself. When you have it in place, teach me.
Comment by
Rasmine
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 50 -
Synopsis of Book 2
Sandra, :),
All I can say is to ask Tom. In the meantime, you could tell them to find further chapters on your profile page. This is good, but I don't know if it's too long -- is this for an agent? It may be too long then. Just give the skeleton. Good luck!
Nome


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
    Hi, Rasmine, I just might have to resort to that. It is rather long for a synopsis, but it's only for those on here who have only recently , I'd make it a lot shorter if I was intending to send it to publishers or agents. They do vary in the lengths they require. Thank you for your thoughts on this one, my friend. Thank you! xx
Comment by
l.raven
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  93
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  175
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 50 -
Synopsis of Book 2
Hi Sandra, enough of the small talk...I think Joe was in my bedroom last night...there was some chocolate on the blanket...or whoops...LOL...thanks for the update sweet girl....love you soooo much...Linda xxoo


 Comment Written 19-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
    LOL!!!! You naughty girl! I doubt you will get the chocolate off the blanket! LOL. I've just posted the next part, so now you are all up to date. Big hugs, my friend. Love to your mother as well. Praying for you all. xxxx Sandra xxx

reply by l.raven on 20-Jan-2018
    thank you sweet angel...I will read it after dinner...biggest hugs to you...praying for you all as well my so sweet friend...xxoo love
Comment by
rama devi
May All Beings Be Happy
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  52
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  102
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 50 -
Synopsis of Book 2
This has potential but still needs work, dear. A synopsis should not be so wordy. The pacing is good but needs to be crisper, with less detail. It would be ideal to trim and tighten. NOTES:

Good opening sentence, but wordy. Example edit:

Veronica is sent back to the past again--this time, to help a boy called Daveth, whose father, Joe, goes missing back in 1846.


Giving essential info without too much detail is optimal. Also, avoiding redundancy is ideal. The reader knows it happens when she is taken back in time, so this sentence should be trimmed out completely:

*
When she is taken back to that time, Veronica meets Daveth,(no ,) and is talking to him when they hear a knock on the cottage door.

Suggest:
Veronica meets Daveth and is talking to him when they hear a knock on the cottage door.

*
It's a bully from the Manor house(,) who has been ordered by its owner, Sir John, to find Joe.


*When Rosie, Daveth's mother, tells him she doesn't know where her husband is, the bully threatens them with eviction if he doesn't show up soon.


consider trimming 'if he doesn't show up soon'.

*
Veronica follows him back to the manor house, and that is when she discovers Francis, an eighteen-month-old albino boy, and witnesses the death of his mother, Gwendolyn, who is Sir John's sister.
TRIM FILLER WORDS!


Veronica follows him back to the manor house, where she discovers Francis, an eighteen-month-old albino boy, and witnesses the death of his mother, Gwendolyn, who is Sir John's sister.

*
When she returns to her own time again, Veronica enlists the help of her husband, James, and Mildred, her best friend and confident, to try and find out some information regarding, not only albinos in the 1800s, but any information about Joe.

Returning to her own time, Veronica enlists the help of her husband, James, and Mildred, her best friend and confident, to hunt for information regarding, not only albinos in the 1800s, but any information about Joe.

*
After searching the local graveyard,(no ,) and finding no record of Joe's demise, Veronica is horrified to discover he is actually trapped inside her two-year-old son, Michael.

*
Whilst this drama is playing out in her time, Veronica returns and meets Gwendolyn's ghost at the manor house. She tells her how she'd jilted her uncaring fiance for the love of an albino missionary. By the time Gwendolyn met him, his eyes were ice blue, so, although he still had white hair, his condition was not obvious at first. Thinking that Gwendolyn is now married, he had disappeared the day before her planned marriage because he couldn't bear to see her with another man.

trimmed and tightened:

Whilst this drama played out, Veronica returns and meets Gwendolyn's ghost at the manor house, who tells her how she'd jilted her uncaring fiance for the love of an albino missionary. By the time Gwendolyn met him, his eyes were ice blue, so, although he still had white hair, his condition had not been obvious. He had disappeared the day before her planned marriage because he couldn't bear to see her with another man.


Hope this helps!

Lots of Love,
rd


 Comment Written 19-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
    Thank you so much for this very thorough review, my friend. And all the help. I'm going to go over it all now. :) Sandra xx

reply by rama devi on 20-Jan-2018
    xxoo :-)))
Comment by
aryr
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  93
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  74
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  46
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 50 -
Synopsis of Book 2
I do believe Sandra is was also helpful for those who have been following and not just the one's who started reading your writing. I truly wish I could be of help with the link however I am just not that tech savvy, but I do know it can be done. I will ask around in case no one else comes forth. Great job, thank you so much my friend.


 Comment Written 19-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
    Thank you, Alie, for this. Phyllis has tried to help me, she's an expert on that sort of thing, but it just never works for me, she even threatened to swim over and do it for me!! Bless her heart. I think I must be too thick! I'm so pleased you found this helpful, it's difficult to keep up with the plot when you're not just turning the pages over. Big hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx

reply by aryr on 20-Jan-2018
    LOL, I like you have a couple of people who review and then try so hard to teach me something that is so important. I have convinced myself that the old saying is absolutely true to a point- 'you cant teach an old dog new tricks'- I am old and not about to learn anything new, so I just do what I can and hope for the best. lol, you are doing fine Sandra.

reply by the author on 20-Jan-2018
    I'm old, too, in fact I am being featured in a monthly magazine in two weeks time because I'm over 70 and finally I'm a published author. (its an excellent bit of promotion, too.) The theme is ... You are never too old!! That is the exact opposite of your ... can't teach an old dog new tricks. LOL I think you can always find another expression that is an opposite to the one you quote. This was a dream of mine for at least 60 years, and now my dream has come true. xxxxx

reply by aryr on 20-Jan-2018
    Good for you Sandra, I am so glad you got your dream and I am thrilled that you are being featured, you definitely worked hard for this. I am only a few months behind you in age and although I am reminded of that saying on a regular basis, I do trod on and on. So you continue being you and doing what you do well.
Comment by
Joy Graham
I think in ink
Write on!
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 50 -
Synopsis of Book 2
All this hopping back and forth sounds fascinating yet confusing. How does she time hop? Is she in control of where and when she goes? Or is it just something that happens with no rhyme or reason?


 Comment Written 19-Jan-2018



reply by the author on 19-Jan-2018
    No, Veronica isn't in control, she has no say in where or when she goes. In the first book she was sent back in time the live parts of the life of an elderly lady whom she'd had ruthlessly removed from her home with the aid of the lady's own adult children, just so her boss could demolish the cottage to enlarge his Spa empire on and gain a huge bonus for doing so. 'The Powers That Be, as Veronica calls them, come into the picture in the first part of this book. They have made a big mistake and need Veronica to sort it out, but she doesn't know this. They send her back to her own time to do any research necessary at the exact point in time that she left.

    This is the second book in the trilogy, the first one is already published, and I'm pleased to say it doing very nicely. I've had some fantastic reviews. Mildred, who is the secondary character has proved to be so popular on FS and with the people who have bought it, so I daren't kill her off even though she is quite old now. LOL. If you read part one in this book, you might understand the Powers That Be a bit better. I have no idea where my story came from, but i'm having a lot of fun with it. I hope this has helped a tiny bit? Thanks, Joy, for reading it, and for wanting to know more. :) Sandra x
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Football Chapter 1 part 1
A mother faces life's struggles.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy