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Reviews from
Orion's Belt


The third in a trilogy of fantasies

  19 total reviews 
Comment by
ciliverde
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  Rank:  429
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 16 -
Task Completed
I actually read this last night but ran out of time to review it. I love that you tied real history into this story, and it's a realistic look at how life might go if you got married to one of the Teg. I think your idea to continue with Seren is a good one. It's unfortunate that the name is similar to that of a deadly nerve gas (Sarin) but I'll try not to think about that ;)
Carol


 Comment Written 20-May-2019



reply by the author on 21-May-2019
    The sarin/Seren connection never occurred to me. What a gas! Many thanks for sticking with these stories to the bitter end, and for coming up with so many sixes in the process. I don't know whether the interweaving of the Seren education is going to work or not. I will definitely be asking your opinion on that.

    Meanwhile as far as posting is concerned it is back to the poetry.

reply by ciliverde on 27-May-2019
    Feel free to ask as much as you like. I'm going to try to be on here more, in order to inspire my own creativity - if there is any left! My lack of reading means you get all sixes!! (well deserved)
Comment by
ciliverde
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  Rank:  429
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 15 -
Man on the Run
So the torment of Ron Little continues, and who knows how long? I think that the Teg could keep it up for quite a long time, from what I know of them. And now Tom and Derwen are saving for the future, and for their child's education. Funny, it's not quite how I imagined fairy folk spending their time :))
Carol


 Comment Written 18-May-2019



reply by the author on 18-May-2019
    Thank you for reviewing this and for the six stars. Just the final chapter to go now. It is out there somewhere.
Comment by
SLMorrical
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Rating of Chapter 16 -
Task Completed
Wow. This is a good chapter, but a sad chapter. Tom is now gone, and Seren and Derwen go on. It is a great ending, and leave it open for a sequel. Well done. This flows well and wraps up everything that involves Tom. I have been following this story as much as I can and I think you should write a sequel with Derwen and Seren.


 Comment Written 12-May-2019



reply by the author on 12-May-2019
    Thank you so much for this review. I had thought originally to write a fourth story, but changed my mind. Seren's assumption of immortality, which she resists strenuously, will be at the heart of what will turn out to be a novel or novella at least, in which these stories will be told to seren by Derwen in an attempt to help her understand what her role in the world as a member of the Tylwyth will be.

    Much of it is already written but with an intervening vacation in June I think it will be July before I start posting it, under the title of 'Seren, a Reluctant Star'. I hope you will join in the fun.
Comment by
Tpa
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Rating of Chapter 16 -
Task Completed
Enjoyed your story. The Author has paid particular attention to the language used and the words were chosen. I found there are no spelling mistakes or grammar errors.


 Comment Written 11-May-2019



reply by the author on 11-May-2019
    Thank you for reading and review in this story.
Comment by
Alex Rosel
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Rating of Chapter 16 -
Task Completed
I enjoyed reading this. Especially given the Welsh connection :)

Here's a couple of things you might like to consider:

'February always seemed to be our month,' said the older of the two women, one time lead singer of Orion's Belt, and Tom's widow, who had continued to perform under her maiden name of Derwen Evans until her retirement, ten years previously. -- This comes across to me as a bit of an info dump :(

'We had our first platinum disc in a February -- Having not read the previous episodes of this, I'm unsure of the date you attribute here. Just in case you haven't researched this, the RIAA created platinum certification in 1976. If Tom is eighty-nine years old (present fictive date?), he'd have been a pretty old artist to be picking up a platinum post 1976. Certainly not impossible, but something maybe worth looking at???


 Comment Written 11-May-2019



reply by the author on 11-May-2019
    Thank you for reviewing. Time is quite an important aspect of these stories, of which this is the third. The paragraph about February is a quick recapitulation rather than an 'info' dump.

    The detail about the platinum disc is interesting and as you rightly say not impossible. Some of our idols seem to be continuing into a ripe old age, c.f. Mick Jagger (and doesn't he look the part)! Born in 1925 our deceased hero would have been in his fifties in the late 70s. A mere pup! Especially in the folk-rock world I would venture to suggest.

    But then, as you say, you have not read the earlier episodes.
Comment by
susand3022
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Rating of Chapter 16 -
Task Completed
Hi Pantygynt, I liked Orion's belt very much, I found it an enjoyable read. It's odd to wonder if there are things beyond our ken manipulating us out there... hmmm... It's an intriguing idea and some fun fantasy. There were lots of fun little points in the story along the way to hold the readers' interest also. It was a fun story! I wonder what you'll come up with next! ;)


 Comment Written 10-May-2019



reply by the author on 11-May-2019
    So do I. Lol. Thank you for this review. I am so glad you have enjoyed this. My plan is to incorporate these stories into a novel or novella about Seren who, having made it apparently as a human is faced with the inevitability of joining her mother in the Tylwyth Teg, a fat she feels she neither wants nor requires.

    I plan to start posting in July but there swill probably be the odd poem between now and then sand a short vacation in mid June
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
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Rating of Chapter 16 -
Task Completed
You tied this up neatly and explained how Ron came to his bad end with no chance to follow through with his threat against Tom, Derwin and Seren. Tom is gone and Derwin is old. It is time for the next generation to step up. Well done Jim. Will look forward to your new book in July. Nancy:)


 Comment Written 10-May-2019



reply by the author on 11-May-2019
    Thank you for this review and your support throughout.
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 16 -
Task Completed
I love the way you have ended this, in particular the last line is magical! You left the reader with an uplifting feeling. It seems the bad guy got his comeuppance and Tom led a long and happy life until his death. This is a fine story and I enjoyed every bit of it. I can now hear the cogs turning from here in Lichfield all the way from Wales . . . . Another poem is in the process, or story . . . I am sure we are in for more joy from your pen. Sorry I don't have a six left this week because this deserves one, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 10-May-2019



reply by the author on 10-May-2019
    You are, as usual, too kind. Thank you for your support throughout these tales. I hope to have the reworked novel/novella version ready for posting starting in July. Yes meanwhile a few poems perhaps and a brife vacation, mid June.
Comment by
JudyE
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Exceptional
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Rating of Chapter 16 -
Task Completed
I remember seeing a documentary about Ronald Biggs told largely from Charmian's viewpoint. It included her visit to Brazil and meeting with Ronald's pregnant partner. I thoroughly your story thanks and would be very keen to see another of the type you're suggesting.

Just a few points:
towards the car park where their chauffeur, John was waiting with the Bentley - comma after 'John'

his medical costs were escalating beyond his capacity to earn all, the time. - delete comma

She had shown an amazing ability with history, as well as foreign languages. Her teachers at Cheltenham Ladies College - should it be 'Ladies' with an apostrophe? I'm not sure it's used in such cases.

Cheers. Judy




 Comment Written 10-May-2019



reply by the author on 10-May-2019
    Thank you for finding the time to review this final chapter. That documentary is on the Internet and was also part of my research. I found it interesting that Charmian remembered Ronnie telling her that the constant looking over his shoulder was worse than prison so perhaps Derwen can feel satisfaction for a job well done.

    I will attend to all the points you mention. I checked the Ladies' College website and they do (as they should) use the apostrophe, even on the big sign over the front door.

    I am taking a short vacation mid June and i anticipate starting to post the long version, 'A Reluctant Star' from the beginning of July. I would welcome your hawk-eyed attention to detail when it appears. There will be the odd poem between now and then.

reply by JudyE on 10-May-2019
    We're away till the middle of June with limited access. I'll check your poems if I'm able but I find them hard to critique so maybe I'll wait till your story starts taking shape. Enjoy your vacation.

reply by the author on 10-May-2019
    Don't worry about the poetry then. You just enjoy your vacation.

reply by JudyE on 10-May-2019
    Thanks.
Comment by
djsaxon
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Rating of Chapter 16 -
Task Completed
The write is delicious. Forthright, economical, and always interesting. I am sorry to see it end, and look forward to the next "outing". The author notes are almost as fascinating. Cheers - DJ


 Comment Written 09-May-2019



reply by the author on 10-May-2019
    Thank you for this glowing, supportive review. I am so pleased you enjoyed this.
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