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Reviews from
A Reluctant Star


A Novella

  13 total reviews 
Comment by
Sugarray77
Melissa
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  6
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  13
 

#6 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 60 -
A 'Fairy Tale Ending'
Aaaah, what an appropriate ending. All strings gathered and tied into a neat bow... I think you have handled this story very well and I like the ending that you chose. Great read, Jim!!

Melissa


 Comment Written 15-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 16-Feb-2020
    Many thanks for having supported this story. I hope you will follow the next one.
Comment by
Pearl Edwards
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  59 (+2)
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Review Stars
  Rank:  103
 
Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 60 -
A 'Fairy Tale Ending'
Yes that was a good ending of that life of Seren's and now, next time I read about a 'ghost' ship floating around, I will wonder. lol
Good luck with the book, I've enjoyed these characters.
cheers
valda


 Comment Written 13-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 13-Feb-2020
    Many thanks for catching up with the finale to this tale.
Comment by
Iza Deleanu
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  136
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  67
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  31
Review Stars
  Rank:  23
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 60 -
A 'Fairy Tale Ending'
Keeping my fingers crossed for the publishing of your book. The epilog is throwing the reader back to the myth world and supernatural. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the publishing.


 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 11-Feb-2020
    Many thanks for this review and for your good wishes regarding the publishing of this story.
Comment by
tfawcus
Level 1 Pro
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  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  58
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 60 -
A 'Fairy Tale Ending'
This epilogue brings things together nicely. You leave the reader to imagine what might happen to Seren in the next phase of her existence, at the same time wrapping up the current story in a satisfying way. Your choice of presenting it as a newspaper obituary is clever, and you have captured the style of the genre well.

I remember flying in to RAF Valley a few times on the C130. It housed a search and rescue unit in my time and, as far as I remember, one of the flying training schools.

Good luck with your hunt for a publisher. It's a tough world out there, but there is much in this story to attract interest. It provides a fresh take on Celtic folklore, and I've thoroughly enjoyed reading it.

p.s. I like the haunting allusion to the Marie Celeste in your naming of Seren's yacht!


 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Many thanks for this review of the final episode. I am so pleased that you have picked on everything I deliberately put there and I just hope the prospective publishers will be similarly impressed.

    I think you are the only one yet to notice the similarity of the names Celeste and Celestin. Thank you for that as well as for the six stars.
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
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  Rank:  90
 
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Rating of Chapter 60 -
A 'Fairy Tale Ending'
I enjoyed your book very much, Jim and wish you the best of luck getting it published. I like the fairy tale ending. People will just have to guess what happened and why when it comes to Seren's disappearance. Well done my friend. Nancy:)


 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Many thanks for this positive review.
Comment by
padumachitta
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  81
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  Rank:  18
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Review Stars
  Rank:  101
 
Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 60 -
A 'Fairy Tale Ending'
hello
this was a clever way to end this story. We get a happy ending and yet, we really don't know what eternity will bring.
I found no obvious SPAG, though I did look:-)
I really do hope you can get tis published...
Be reading you in the next book round..


 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Many thanks for this review. I have a new book starting on Wednesday, Maid of the Mill, a very different kettle of fish!

reply by padumachitta on 10-Feb-2020
    super, at least this time I can start at the beginning and hopefully keep up:-)
Comment by
ciliverde
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  Rank:  43 (+3)
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  Rank:  192
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 60 -
A 'Fairy Tale Ending'
Well, and so it goes. We don't know what Seren will do with her immortality, nor what purpose the Tylwyth will assign here. You have done an outstanding job with these chapters, and with the book as a whole.

One thing you might be able to add, in the previous chapter, could be a few thoughts Seren had after assuming her immortality. "I feel just the same" perhaps, or...? What do you think?
Carol


 Comment Written 10-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    You could well be right but I actually wanted a kind of anticlimax here. I will be reading right through before submitting to a publisher and will see how it feels.

    Thank you for those congratulations and that lovely six.
Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  115 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  15
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  55
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 60 -
A 'Fairy Tale Ending'
Hyper congratulations on a highly satisfying story. I look forward to hearing good news and getting my claws on a hard copy (or, better yet audio copy) of this book.


 Comment Written 09-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Many thanks for those lovely comments, your consistent encouragement and the six stars.
Comment by
JudyE
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  Rank:  26
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  Rank:  41
 
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Rating of Chapter 60 -
A 'Fairy Tale Ending'
Just a few comments, mostly calling to your attention points I'm not sure about.

by the master of the Holyhead to Dublin Ferry earlier that morning - would 'ferry' need a capital? Perhaps it does.

She told me she was bound for Waterford in the South of the Republic of Ireland.' - should 'south' be lower case?

Professor Reiner, who has held the chair of Modern Languages at Morecambe - should 'chair' have a capital? I have no idea either way - just drawing it to your attention.

It may be recalled that Professor Reiner's mother, Derwen Reiner, was believed to have been lost overboard when she disappeared from the Norwegian Cruise Ship 'Viking Star' nearly five years ago. - maybe commas either side of 'Viking Star' and maybe lower case for 'cruise ship'.

Congratulations on a great piece of writing and the very best of luck with getting it published. It's been a pleasure to have read it here and to be a small part of the journey.

Cheers
Judy


 Comment Written 09-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thank you for this last time. Words cannot express my gratitude for your help with this project. I am starting another on FanStory on Wednesday. Your help with that would be much appreciated.

    Now to try and find a publisher.

reply by JudyE on 12-Feb-2020
    I'll keep a look out for your next work. Your writing is always a pleasure to read.
Comment by
JudyE
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  Rank:  26
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  Rank:  41
 
Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 59 -
Immortality
What a wonderful end to your great story, which is fully worthy of six stars overall. But a four for the moment following my new decision regarding ratings.

I picked up a few points:

That is the bonnie, bonnie road in the ballad, see. 'Follow me. It's not far now. - delete speech mark before 'Follow'

'If we had come by here this afternoon you would have seen none of this, apart from the clearing itself,' said Derwen. But now, we have jumped from our original time groove into an earlier one. 'This was where I was born, grew up, and lived, until my remission began in 1843. - speech marks should be before 'But', not 'This'

'Quite dry Mum!' said Seren, wriggling her toes in explorative amazement. A moment ago...' - speech marks needed before 'A moment..'

Seren thought for a moment before coming up with an answer. 'He would also forget his sword, because that hangs from the belt. You can see it, dangling down below Alnitak, the left hand star of the belt. He wouldn't be much of a hunter without that, would he? - speech marks needed at the end of this paragraph

'There's some of my father's home-brewed ale by there,' she said, indicating a large earthenware jug on the table. Help yourself. Use that tankard over by there.' - speech marks needed before 'Help'

Seren poured a small quantity of the ale out, and took a tentative sip. - I might have said 'Seren poured out a small quantity of the ale'

'Oh, I think you'll find you can now,' Derwen said, taking her daughter's hand. - there is an extra space before 'Oh'

'Thank you John. Back to the hotel please.' Said Derwen, then turning to her daughter, - lower case for 'said'

'You didn't get a return ticket to Morecambe for tomorrow, did you love?' - comma after you?

Hopefully I'll get the epilogue done before we fly out late tonight.

Cheers
Judy

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 09-Feb-2020



reply by the author on 10-Feb-2020
    Thanks so much for taking time out look at this so thoroughly. All have now been attended to.
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