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Reviews from
Hosea and the Lost Souls


Hosea seeks souls out west to cure his curse

  12 total reviews 
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
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  Rank:  2
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 Rank:  54
 

#2 Ranked Novelist
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Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
Another interesting and well-developed chapter Stan. Your imagery is well written in this chapter also.

One suggestion if I may: I think you repeated yourself in this paragraph perhaps:

"The boy looked at Patches who whinnied, then he looked at how Hosea cupped the water with his hands and drank. He mimicked his mentor, cupping the water in his hands and slurping. Then he spewed the water from his mouth, spraying Hosea's face.

Good job.
Bless you my friend. : ) Bob


 Comment Written 28-May-2020



reply by the author on 28-May-2020
    Thanks, Bob. You're right.

reply by Mastery on 29-May-2020
    :) Bob
Comment by
Alaskastory
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Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
"A Mountain of Evidence" is filled with excitement. James seems to learn a lot from Hosea and Lydia seems brave under quite a struggle.

I did have problems understanding who did what in this following statements, such as edge of what, whose face, and pulled who?:

Hosea pushed her (backside over the edge), as he (spat dirt showering his face). "I will return." He placed James on his shoulders where Lydia (pulled him up over the ridge).

Other readers may grasp it clearly, but I got questions. Let me know. Marie



 Comment Written 27-May-2020



reply by the author on 30-May-2020
    Thanks, Maria. I wasn't clear in those descriptions.
Comment by
Ben Colder
CHARLES EZELL
SHERIDAN
 
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  Rank:  146
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  Rank:  9
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  Rank:  92
 

#9 Ranked Novelist
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Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
Very descriptive and interesting to follow. It remained of a movie I once saw with Gary Cooper in the Lost Lady. The people were like animals. Good one writer. Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 26-May-2020



reply by the author on 27-May-2020
    Thanks so much. It sounds similar to how I'm trying to up the ante of evil versus good. Kind of like converging on the preacher and asking where the lovely young woman is, would be one of the places it goes to show how good and evil will have an epic battle.

reply by Ben Colder on 27-May-2020
    My latest published book reveals this in so many ways. My profile has a trailer. if you are interested.
Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
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Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
Hi Stan. I am enjoying this story. I like your descriptive narrative through the adventures. I liked the stop to drink at the creek. You did a good job of tying in the lukewarm water in the creek to the lukewarm Christians in the church.
Another sentence I liked very well is: "The boy looked into his eyes as if to read into his soul." That's a great statement.
The following sentence looks like a typo. "But even Hosea couldn't so sure." I think "be" is missing from the sentence.

Well done.

Robert


 Comment Written 26-May-2020



reply by the author on 27-May-2020
    Thanks Robert. I appreciate so much your keen perception.

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 27-May-2020
    You're welcome
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
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 Rank:  6
 

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Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
Stan,

So this means you're working both novels at the same time? Yikes - you're braver than me. hahaha

Nice chapter - a lot going on and a lot said between the lines. I enjoyed - but have a couple/three notes:
1.) Thorns and thistles tore her dress and (scraped) her legs.

2.) "Are we in a heap of trouble(?)" (A)sked James, as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.

3.) Folks been living above a shifting sea of fire a thin crust of earth.
--> little garbled - something missing?

4.) But even Hosea couldn't (be) sure their anger wouldn't be stirred even more than before,

That's it! Thanks!


 Comment Written 26-May-2020


Comment by
Jeffrey L. Michaux
Jeff Michaux
Williamsburg
 
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Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
I'm liking the direction this is going. It reminds me of many biblical accounts all rolled into one account. Like I've probably mentioned before, it speaks of the time we're in right now. I think that many probably won't believed it just like they didn't in the Bible. I believe that judgement is indeed upon this land. I don't want it to be, but, why shouldn't it be? This nation has continually killed God's babies and sin and perversion is running rampant in the land. Thanks for sharing yet another engaging and well written work. Well done!


 Comment Written 26-May-2020



reply by the author on 27-May-2020
    Thanks so much, Jeff. I really appreciate how you've consistently followed my project. Blessings ahead.
Comment by
CrystieCookie999
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
All the content here is wonderful. It adds to the action, plot, and character development. I just took a few notes on little fixes:
The trio navigated their way up an unfamiliar trail on the mountain where they could see the Lansing house on high. (I think I would add a comma after mountain just for the sake of a tiny pause in a long sentence)

judgment, not judgement
"Are we in a heap of trouble," Asked James, as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.
Try: "Are we in a heap of trouble?" asked James, as he wiped the sweat from his forehead.
Love the shale rock skittered phrase

with her tattered skirt hiked (add the word up after hiked)
She skipped over the creek and spoke out of breath. (Add a comma after spoke)

"It shan't be much further on foot to the miners (add apostrophe after miners) cabin." Hosea handed her one of his pistols. "You know how to shoot?"

"Between the eyes-if the target is willing to hold for a spell."
Advanced editor will let you insert a long dash instead of a hyphen after eyes


But even Hosea couldn't so sure their anger wouldn't be stirred even more than before, like a witches (add apostrophe after witches) cauldron waiting for the tender flesh.



 Comment Written 26-May-2020


Comment by
thaities, Rebecca V.
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  Rank:  67
 
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Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
Great story and well told as usual. Can't wait until the next chapter. The characters are so real and their conversations are natural and free flowing.


 Comment Written 25-May-2020



reply by the author on 27-May-2020
    Thanks so much Rebecca. I appreciate you consistently reading and giving feedback. I'm just so hooked on writing westerns.

reply by thaities, Rebecca V. on 27-May-2020
    They are my favorite reading.
Comment by
Shirley McLain
 
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Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
Wonderful chapter, my friend. I'm ready for more, as always. You did a great job and I'm looking forward to the next chapter. I didn't find any errors. Have a great night and take care. Shirley


 Comment Written 25-May-2020



reply by the author on 27-May-2020
    Thanks so much, Shirley.
Comment by
Mistydawn
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Rating of Chapter 11 -
A Mountain of Evidence
I'm so glad they were able to escape. I just hope the Lord is with him in this second go-around because as angry as they are, he's going to need all the help, miracles he can get. Your story is well-written, interesting start to finish. I look forward to reading more.


 Comment Written 25-May-2020



reply by the author on 27-May-2020
    Thanks so much, Misty.
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