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Reviews from
The wooden door


fed wants to be a man

  5 total reviews 
Comment by
Spangle
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  77 (+5)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  67
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 1 -
The wooden door
You have a mystical story unfolding that I enjoyed reading. The background information is helpful in setting up the lines encouraging the reader to want to read more.

re: I looked to the left......writing appeared, yet I could not understand what they (the words) said, (;) it read as follows; (:)


 Comment Written 20-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 21-Jan-2020
    I thank you Janet, any help on punctuation I really appreciated, glad you are back . kind regards Colin XX and the sixes that is brilliant xx

    Hope your well xx
Comment by
susand3022
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  27
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  27
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  32
Script Rating
  Rank:  8
Review Stars
  Rank:  15
 

#8 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 1 -
The wooden door
Hi Colin, I like this new book you've started! I'm going to have to look for more... :) I noticed a couple of spags:

paragraph 13 - ... I look up and see (a) collection...

also, the space between paragraph 13 and 14 is missing

I'm pretty sure there is one before the paragraph 13 one but I can't remember what it is and my computer is about to die.
I'll be back for more! :)


 Comment Written 18-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 19-Jan-2020
    Thanks for your help Susan xxx
Comment by
Raffaelina Lowcock
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  52
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  32
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  48
Review Stars
  Rank:  20
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 1 -
The wooden door
Very interesting and captivating story. I am very curious about this venue where the second door appears. The picture is a beautiful sight of a forest from above. Look forward to another chapter.
NB:
There are a few edits you might make. First paragraph "surround" s/b surrounded. Second para: "steeply hill" s/b "steep hills""Hello" I said, in a "quite" did you mean "quiet"?"an" collection s/b "a"


 Comment Written 18-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
    Thank you Raffaelina, I have made these changes and many thanks for your help. Kind regards Colin xx
    The photo is from our Norfolk coastline,a place called Caister. xx
Comment by
Brenda Henderson
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  177
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  88 (+1)
Review Stars
  Rank:  119
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 1 -
The wooden door
Wow Colin! Engaging and compelling narrative. This has the makings of a lot here. I don't know if Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings had a similar start but this work could easily do quite well in that type genre. I can easily see this as both a live fantasy action or an animated or feature film or series! Well done indeed! So sorry I didn't have anymore six star ratings left.


 Comment Written 18-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
    Thank you Brenda, that is kind of you to say that, may thanks Colin x

reply by Brenda Henderson on 18-Jan-2020
    Well deserved!
Comment by
Pantygynt
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  68
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  Rank:  4
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Review Stars
  Rank:  29
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 1 -
The wooden door
This is a good start to a new story that should attract readers. I certainly want to read on. Is it not more 'fantasy' than horror story. There was no real horror in this chapter. Reviewing chapters in a book takes more time and I have always tried to put a dollar's reward for reviewers on my stories at least.

You need to check the finished article more carefully in the read now mode as several paragraph changes have not been correctly formatted with a line break after each one.

some other SPAG that needs attention:

'Strangely as I approached...' -- Comma required after 'strangely'.

'we see the Nat's being attracted to him.' Unfortunately these annoying insects are spelt 'gnats' with the 'G' being silent. No. Don't ask why is it there then? Lol.

"Hello" I said, in a quite and polite tone, straight away the mist disappeared -- Replace comma after 'tone' with a full stop. Then capital 'S' for 'straight away.


 Comment Written 18-Jan-2020



reply by the author on 18-Jan-2020
    Ha ha jim , cannot tell you how many times I looked at that bloddy nat and knew something was wrong , great advise and I will correct when back cheers Colin
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