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Reviews from
The Spirit of the Wind


Newylwed homesteader Jane becomes a widow

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  41
 

#2 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 33 -
The Hunger for Freedom
Hi Stan. The images in your chapters get better and better, my friend:

Like this one: "A man with gnarled hands, bushy eyebrows, and a crooked jaw loomed over her."

And here: "He stood up and pulled a blanket from his saddle bag. He stepped around firepit and placed it around her shoulders. "Care for supper?"

And very believable dialogue, Stan.
Suggestions if I may: This sentence belongs with the paragraph above it: "He must have been on guard duty tending to the tethered horses."

Brilliant writing, Stosh. Bob


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2021


Comment by
2020 Poet of the Year
royowen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  19
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  1
 

#1 Ranked Reviewer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 33 -
The Hunger for Freedom
I think that's fine changing from first person narrative to the third person, I must admit I didn't notice, it must have been awhile since your last episode, but this is a fine episode, with poor Jane not sure if these men ate no threat or not, well done my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : He stepped around (the) fire pit..


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2021



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
    Thanks Roy!

reply by royowen on 18-Apr-2021
    Most welcome
Comment by
BethShelby
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  64
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  56
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  8
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  15
 

#8 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 33 -
The Hunger for Freedom
This is an excellent chapter. I'm glad she is be reassured that she has nothing to fear from these men. At least, she has had food and warmth and has been allowed to rest. Well written.


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2021


Comment by
Ben Colder
CHARLES EZELL
SHERIDAN
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  191
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Review Stars
  Rank:  101
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 33 -
The Hunger for Freedom
I think either way is sufficient. The story is told in the manner of reality, something you do very well. Detail & reality leaving suspense, otherwise, page turners is the key. You have no problems with this effort.
Well done Bro. I doubt anyone on this site can really appreciate the depth of your write.


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2021


Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  56 (+4)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  12
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Review Stars
  Rank:  31
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 33 -
The Hunger for Freedom
Hello Stan.

You built some tension into the story when Jane was found by the men. Under the circumstances, that could have been just as bad. She seems to go from one bad situation to another in a matter of a day.

It appears for now she is in good company.

Robert


 Comment Written 17-Apr-2021



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
    Thanks so much Robert. I appreciate how you sincerity and encouragement.

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 19-Apr-2021
    You're welcome
Comment by
Iza Deleanu
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  138 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  14
Script Rating
  Rank:  6
Review Stars
  Rank:  5
 

#9 Ranked Author

#6 Ranked Script Writer

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 33 -
The Hunger for Freedom
Life moves in circles and sometimes purifies - She can't see that in a desert,
The heat doesn't help the hurt
he's merely a grain of sand
Attached for a ride to a new land
- Thank you for sharing


 Comment Written 17-Apr-2021



reply by the author on 18-Apr-2021
    Thanks so much. I always enjoy the neat way you review with such flare and thought.
Comment by
Liz O'Neill
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  96 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  39
Review Stars
  Rank:  119
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 33 -
The Hunger for Freedom
You have described your setting well. The setting creates the characters, nearly everything about them. The regional dialect draws the reader in. The setting also is greatly responsible for the plot. Nicely orchestrated.


 Comment Written 17-Apr-2021



reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
    Thanks Liz!
Comment by
Rdfrdmom2
Rdfrdmom2
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  57
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  38
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  19
Review Stars
  Rank:  26
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 33 -
The Hunger for Freedom
forestport:

I have found it easier to write first-person accounts than third-person. Having said that, I often find myself going back and forth unintentionally. I was very concerned for Jane's safety when the older soldier found her. I am grateful the Captain seems to be an honorable man.

Rdfrdmom2


 Comment Written 17-Apr-2021



reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
    Thanks for the special input.
Comment by
Ben Colder
CHARLES EZELL
SHERIDAN
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  191
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Review Stars
  Rank:  101
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 32 -
Follow the River
You, as always let the reader fell the character's pain and moment of despair. A very rare talent found among most writers and for sure here on Fan Story.
I applauded you for a job well done.
Now we shall see if friend or foe.


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2021



reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
    Thanks brother.
Comment by
Mistydawn
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  12
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Review Stars
  Rank:  94
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 32 -
Follow the River
What a fantastic chapter. It's so well-written, descriptive that I felt like I was there. The suspense of it all had me on the edge of my seat. I'm so glad Jane made it out of that alive. I can only hope that she can make it out of this too.


 Comment Written 02-Apr-2021



reply by the author on 17-Apr-2021
    I forgot to thank you again for this. Forgive my belated response.
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