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Reviews from
A Change of Pace


My forays into free verse

  31 total reviews 
Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
Oh I love this, its fast, pacy, brave and strong.You can really still feel your trademarks on this free verse piece as well, I love it when your tough side comes out. ;-)

"I won't be pleasing
to a palate
accustomed to the
gourmet texture of victory,
not when my held breath
plumps this heart to proportions
too large to swallow."
-This is the part I really love, I can't get enough of this attitude its fantastic.

This is really an intelligent piece of free verse, where you have applied your skill with word usage and descriptives beautifully outside the confines of structure. Really enjoyed this my friend, one of your best free verse pieces so far....


 Comment Written 04-Nov-2005


Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 8 -
The End Game
I think I just said something about your freestyle becoming better with every attempt, err thats the understatement of the week my friend :).

"Pieces of fragile memories,

blunt reminders of frailties"
-Fantastic lines, absolutely love them.

Such an incredibly concise and well constructed piece that you managed to fit into just a few short lines my friend.

This is an oustanding piece of freestyle, I think this is now the best free verse piece I have seen from you, ahem so far lol. Just loved this.....


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2005


Comment by
Elliesbiggestfan
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 7 -
June Awakening
Thought I would have a glance at these ones now, just chop back and forth at my leisure you know ;).

I really enjoyed this little foray into free verse my friend. I know you're not comfortable in this area, but it's becoming clear that the more you try, the better you become at it.

Even though you've (reluctantly I bet lol) refused structure, you have still used your incredible style for originality in your composition. I loved the imagery behind the words, I can see exactly what you want me to see, which I'm sure is the point. Very nice indeed my friend....


 Comment Written 02-Aug-2005


Comment by
FourByFour
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 8 -
The End Game
They're desperate for any measure

of absolution in a storm of dreams

no longer dreams

Ah... true poetry :) Nice job. I love those lines... in a storm of dreams, no longer dreams... great job pulling things back and forth there. Really made me stop and think about it. I've missed a lot of poems from you lately it seems. I might have to start checking in here more. Hope you are well, sweetie. I do miss you and your poetry, but life has been a little crazy lately here, and I'm sure yours is no different. Hopefully I'll catch up with you soon. Much love.


 Comment Written 29-Jul-2005


Comment by
ScarletAffliction
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 8 -
The End Game
and grab

at vaporous threads of a squandered life

to shield what little remains of the lotus


I loved these lines. They seemed like fragile truths. I could relate, man. :) but then, I normally do.


 Comment Written 26-Jul-2005


Comment by
mynerva
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
As I read through this "free verse," a smile spreads slowly across my lips
until laughter erupts from my insides. Apparently you were the "object of
desire" and were the unwilling participant. Do you not care for "in-charge"
females who come on strong, who know what they want and go after it?
Are you one of those men who must sound the victory cry at all cost?
Sometimes I have to visualize what is taking place. Once in a while I hit
it right on the button. Other times I fail. Excellent word usage above and
beyond my thinking capacity.


 Comment Written 25-Jul-2005


Comment by
mynerva
 
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Excellent
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Rating of Chapter 8 -
The End Game
Well, I can say this, it is different. Days disappear so rapidly that it is difficult to remember the name of each day. And the fun part is, they go
by faster with every birthday. Have no regrets. Life is too short for regrets.
Don't count on that timekeeper rewinding your soul. It ain't gonna happen.
This is it, old buddy. This is the only shot that you will get. Make it happen.


 Comment Written 25-Jul-2005


Comment by
Salad Shooter
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word
A deliciously vicious description of an unappetizing attempt at seduction!

I feel sorry for the poor, grotesquely-featured sycophant.

And... I hope she isn't the same woman about whom you recently wrote all the tortured, hopeless, love poems.

Or... perhaps it's better, if you did.

Then... maybe you can move on.

Why is it I'm not reviewing the work, instead of the situation?

I'm an idiot, perhaps.

Anyway... I must sleep. I did the 48 hour filmmaking marathon thing this weekend. And I have jury duty at 8 PM tomorrow.

Wonder if some soul's future will rest upon my wisdom.

That's a daunting thought.

How horrible it is to have to judge the guilt or clemency of another.


 Comment Written 24-Jul-2005


Comment by
Lainee
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 8 -
The End Game

David I doubt that you really need guidance or assistance with your writing in any shape or form but if you had help it was wonderful to produce another beautifully penned free-style poem.

Goodluck,
Lainee :O)



 Comment Written 24-Jul-2005


Comment by
Lainee
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 9 -
The Last Word

David this is very clever for a freestyle poem and your feelings and underlying messages are ever-present within each stanza. Another little piece of dynamite from you :O)

Goodluck,
Lainee :O)


 Comment Written 24-Jul-2005


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