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Reviews from
The Chicken Roost


Two Kids and a clubhouse

  13 total reviews 
Comment by
LJbutterfly
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Hi Mary,
I enjoyed reading a story about a childhood memory. Adults often read adult ideals and principals into innocent childish pretending. I wonder what would have happened if you and your cousin took games into the clubhouse to be played during the day. I also wonder how long the two of you would have been able to tolerate the smell and feather remains. If you were fourteen and sixteen, I could see parents becoming concerned. Thanks for sharing a cute story from your childhood.


 Comment Written 24-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for your kind comments and review. It was a farm so most of the day we were in the field. I think
    because there were 14 kids on the farm plus any kids that may have dropped by my uncle got nervous.
    Thank you again.
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
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This article, The Chicken Roost, is a cute look at having fun as a kid and having to deal with strange adult concerns. ..............


 Comment Written 24-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you Bill for the review take care
    Mary
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Author
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#4 Ranked Poet

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That's so cute! Loved this precious memory and I'm glad that neither of you had allergies as I'm thinking with all that dust and chicken feathers, it would have been hard on your lungs. Thanks for sharing!


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the review and kind comments.
Comment by
mermaids
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This is a cute story. As a child you were very productive painting the chicken house and cleaning it up. Your story also shows a time of innocence. Excellent writing.


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the review and kind comments.
Comment by
amada
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Nice story, Mary, it brought a smile to my heart. Sweet, down to the heart, a joy to read. Today, I am sorry to say, when reading this site I have found so much political stuff, name calling, and there is only one right, their party. Pitiful.


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
    Thank you amada.
    I agree with you on politics. There are certain writers I
    Avoid.
    Thank you for the review and comments

    In
Comment by
John Carey
Premier Author
 
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I really enjoyed reading this! You did a nice job setting the scene, and many people will be able to relate to these events. All that hard work by innocent children put to an end for mysterious reasons! It is an abrupt ending - left me wondering what your childhood conclusion to the boarded up clubhouse was. Thank you for sharing a good memory!


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the review and comments. I think it was because it was that they had 14 kids on the premises. 9 of their own and 5 summer visitors, plus kids who come and go and that made them be more cautious.

reply by John Carey on 23-Oct-2020
    Mary ' That makes a lot of sense! So many kids to keep track of...
Comment by
Cindy Decker
 
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Mary,
This is a very nice story. The part about "You and dad sleep together," made me laugh. I used to sleep in waterproof tents that weren't really waterproof. With my neighbor, JoAnne. We kept both houses unlocked so we could use the bathroom in the middle of the night. Those were the days when some people didn't lock their doors, and still nothing horrible happened.
Thank you for this sweet story; you brought back so many memories.
Your poem is very well written.
Good luck in the contest, Mary.
Best wishes,
Cindy


 Comment Written 23-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 23-Oct-2020
    Thank you Cindy for the review and kind comments.
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
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  Rank:  27
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  Rank:  55
 
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Amazing how those memories really leave impressions on us so many years down the road... ;) :) Thanx for sharing! ;)

We scrapped all --> We scraped all

clubhouse tonight" --> clubhouse tonight."

"Oh no you don't boys --> "Oh no you don't! Boys [or a period instead of the exclamation mark]

not? Louie asked "You --> not?" Louie asked. "You

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 22-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
    Please do not read any of my post as you do not do me a service.
    While I do appreciate help with grammar and those that do have made me feel upbeat and I truly appreciate their help and feedback.
    With them I feel that they are positive and uplifting.
Comment by
Ben B.
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Yikes, talk about overreactive parenting! You two were cousins so there was nothing wrong with you two sleeping over. Hardly a need to board it up unless they knew something about it the kids didn't.


 Comment Written 22-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the review. This was the late 1950's and they had 9 kids and 3 additions so they probably thought they could not keep an eye on all at once.
    Thank you and regards.
    Mary
Comment by
L. Kalere
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  Rank:  79
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  Rank:  71
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  Rank:  108
 
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Such a cute little story. I particularly like it because it brought back wonderful memories of my friend's clubhouse, which was never shut down. There's a good combination of narration and dialog, with a nice tie up at the end.


 Comment Written 22-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 22-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the review and kind comments. I will fix
    Regards,
    Mary
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