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Reviews from
Learning to Swim


Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "The Meeting"

Fictionfalized life story based on a true story

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
Lorraine Jackson
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Excellent
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The story of Roseanna and her meeting with Nick demonstrates the turmoil each of us has felt at some point in our life. We think we know what we should do compared to what we want to do. Quite often, like Roseanna, the latter wins. This is my first exposure to this story (I'm new to FanStory), but I find it intriguing. You've built several things into the story to draw the reader in. I have to find out what happened next, and I have to go back to read previous chapters. This was very well done. Thank you.


 Comment Written 28-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 28-Oct-2020
    Thank you for your very detailed review. I welcome you comments and appreciate your interest.

    Ralf
Comment by
BethShelby
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  38 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  6
Review Stars
  Rank:  14
 

#6 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This certainly was an intriguing chapter. I am amazed at your boldness but I also amazed that you have been faithful to a husband who seems to be more like a good friend roommate. It is amazing that you have such strong feeling for this man. I am very interested in where this may be going.


 Comment Written 26-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 26-Oct-2020
    Thank you for your interesting review. Some situations are unfathomable, yet they exist and are enabled because of the environment. The family is always a concern.

    Ralf

reply by the author on 26-Oct-2020
    The six-stars put a shine on my day. Very thoughtful of you, thanks.

    Ralf
Comment by
Cindy Decker
 
Poet Rating
 
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  Rank:  82
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Dear Ralf,
Exceptional story. I keep rooting for the woman more and more to let go of her bad? marriage, Such a wonderful story of love and desire. I feel badly that he's ailing, and I hope the resolution is somehow for all three.
Have a nice Monday.
Good luck in the contedtš???. Hugs
Cindy


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 26-Oct-2020
    Thank you for your interesting review. There is always integrity that must be sustained. She needs to maintain her dignity.

    Ralf

reply by the author on 26-Oct-2020
    Giving this six-stars was very generous. They make me shine.

    Ralf
Comment by
2020 Novelist of the Year
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
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 Rank:  20
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well, that did take some nerve, Roseanna could have been whisked away somewhere and never seen again. It is exciting though, to do something that is totally foreign to a person's normal way of life. I think we all need something exciting now and again. I liked the way he didn't hide his true girlfriend away, and showed Roseanna photos of her. That did change her feelings a bit. I can also understand how frustrated she must feel about her husbands dismissal of things in their marriage. I look forward to the next part. Well done! :)) Sandra xx


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
    You are following this story closely, I see. Thank you for your detailed review. Your observations are key to the plot. Don't ignore them.

    Ralf

reply by sandramitchell on 25-Oct-2020
    I won't. It's a lovely story, Ralf. xx

reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
    Thanks, Sandra.
Comment by
Monica Chaddick
Premier Author
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  Rank:  81 (+1)
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  Rank:  25
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Excellent
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I am intrigued. Just what is it she thinks she is doing? Playing with fire, that is what she is doing. And the fact that he has a girlfriend and is actively in pursuit should tell her something about his character. Looking forward to the next installment.


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
    This is a woman who is enthralled and fascinated by her sudden emotions for another man.
    Thank you Monica for your POV in this review. You are quite right.

    Ralf
Comment by
thaities, Rebecca V.
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  Rank:  22
 
Excellent
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This is a fascinating chapter how a new relationship developed because of a hard place in Anna's marriage. I hope temptation doesn't get the better of her.


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
    Thank you Rebecca for your review and POV. I appreciate your comments.

    RalfY
Comment by
Spangle
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  114
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is an exceptionally interesting chapter, Ralf...sometimes men cannot understand that a girl really does want only a platonic relationship. Agreeably, however, if there are any underlying feelings, it is hard to accomplish it.


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
    Your POV is appreciated here. Thank you for this wise review and the six stars that are so uplifting. Every woman knows her feelings are so different than a man's.

    Ralf
Comment by
Robert Zimmerman
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
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  Rank:  47
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Ralf.

I have enjoyed reading your story for two reasons. One is the writing style which moves the story ahead with each paragraph. The second is the storyline itself. In this chapter you propose some very unique circumstances and you explore the insights into why the characters say what they do and how they respond to each other.

Keep writing and I will keep reading.

Robert


 Comment Written 24-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 25-Oct-2020
    Wow, Robert. I love this review. It is a REAL review of the form and content of this story. Six stars delight me! Thank you so much May I say I enjoyed reading your wise words.

    Raffaelina x

reply by Robert Zimmerman on 25-Oct-2020
    Hello Ralf.

    You are very welcome for the six stars and the review. This chapter is well written.

    I'm pleased that you like the review.

    Robert
Comment by
Y. M. Roger
FantasyGirl
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  20
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Review Stars
  Rank:  19
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Just so much for a young woman who has been denied passion but suddenly feels it... wow! ;) Another great chapter, my lady -- thanx for sharing! Yvette

failure and that --> failure, and that

Catholic and I believed our vow was sacred so deviating from that Is not --> Catholic, and I believed our vow was sacred: deviating from that was not

Firstly Les fainted at work, the --> Firstly, Les fainted at work the

privacy and even though --> privacy, and even though

my mind and I conjectured --> my mind, and I conjectured

each other I started --> each other, I started

me, was very bold, but to be frank, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you, though --> me was very bold, but to be frank, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. Though [bit of a run-on sentence... suggestion to break it here, but just needs to be broken.. :)]

feel that rapport --> [was this quote finished... there are no end quotes and it feels 'hanging'...?]

develops but please trust --> develops, but please, trust

up even though I had asked for an extension of my lunch hour I only --> up. Even though I had asked for an extension of my lunch hour, I only

if he too felt --> if he, too, felt

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 24-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for your detailed review. Much appreciated. LOL meaning also the advice.
    I will edit.

    Ralf xx
Comment by
2016, 2018 and 2020 Script Writer of the Year
judiverse
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  26
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  38
 

#5 Ranked Author
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You certainly add some intrigue with Anna's meeting with Nicholas. She and he both feel the chemistry between. For two years, the situation with Les has been going on. If there isn't some solution to his inability to have a sexual relationship, she should explore getting an annulment. It's been one thing after another with him. The fault apparently lies with Les, and she has a right to fulfillment in her life. She probably wants a family, although that hasn't been specifically mentioned. I'll be curious to see what develops! judi


 Comment Written 24-Oct-2020



reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    Thank you for your detailed review and, your special POV. I appreciate your attention to this story.

    Ralf

reply by judiverse on 24-Oct-2020
    You're welcome. Your story is very compelling. I think Les really needs to explain what his problem is. He probably knows and isn't facing it. judi

reply by the author on 24-Oct-2020
    If you read chapter 15, there was a reference to Birth Control worries that he had been made aware of.
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