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Reviews from
Football - A Novel


Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Football Chapter 3 part 2"

A mother faces life's struggles.

  28 total reviews 
Comment by
Iza Deleanu
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  125
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  14
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  14
Script Rating
  Rank:  5
Review Stars
  Rank:  4
 

#5 Ranked Script Writer
#4 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
MMM Katherine is going to train the girls team volens-nolens:) I guess she has no choice if she wants to keep up with coach:) Thank you for sharing and good luck with the next chapter.


 Comment Written 26-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
Cynthia Adams1
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  Rank:  154
 
Excellent
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This is the first installment of your work that I've read. I found it kept my interest all the way through and I will read other installments as they become available.
It's not that easy to write believable dialogue for characters of mixed ages but I think you've done a good job. Keep up the nice work.


 Comment Written 26-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
w.j.debi
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  Rank:  19
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  Rank:  92
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Excellent dialogue and descriptions. Things are really heating up between Mr. frost and Katherine. And none of it is her fault. Mr Frost has just targeted her to vent his frustrations. That is so low. If he keeps on, he may lose his position as department head and any friends he may have had.
Excellent way to end the chapter. I want to turn the page and read what comes next.


 Comment Written 26-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
Ric Myworld
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  Rank:  72
 
Excellent
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Looks like Katherine is in for never ending harassment from Frost, but something tells me she isn't the type to take it for long without retaliation. Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 26-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
estory
Premier Author
north carolina
 
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  Rank:  44
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Review Stars
  Rank:  80
 
Excellent
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Lively dialogue really drives this story forward and the characters keep unfolding into new relationships and metrics. We see that Frost character continues to be hard on Katherine, and we also get the motivation behind it in the story about his son, related by another math teacher. Personalities and emotions keep bubbling up in your dialogue and its very realistic. You're setting up some interesting conflicts and possibilities for romance and friendship and the story is coming along. estory


 Comment Written 26-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
thaities, Rebecca V.
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  Rank:  20 (+6)
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  Rank:  10
Review Stars
  Rank:  56
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
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This is such an enthralling story that I just can't seem get enough of somehow. You have me hooked. I look forward to each post. Well written!


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
RPSaxena
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  Rank:  141
 
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Hello Barbara.Wilkey,
Nice piece of Romance Fiction having lucid as well as perfectly matching the theme phraseology, captivating flow throughout from the beginning to the end, and depicting nice development of the story.
These lines in the End are particularly noteworthy, for they are working as a HOOK - A Good Quality of any writing:
"Over the intercom system came, "Mrs. Riley, please report to the office."
"Now what?"
[ Please see the 1st sentence in TODAY'S POST: "Katherine arrived to school about 7:15." Here 'arrived to or arrived at'? Just for the sake of my knowledge, if you don't mind.]


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review. In the first sentence I will change it to 'at'

reply by RPSaxena on 31-Oct-2020
    Barbara.Wilkey, Most Welcome!
    With best wishes,
    ~ RP
Comment by
Ben Colder
CHARLES EZELL
SHERIDAN
 
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  Rank:  8
Review Stars
  Rank:  86
 

#8 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Why is there one in every crowd? The special voice always finds fault with sports and how it interferes but really it is a great tool for motivation. Academic studies normally falls in place and something the teacher can use as a crutch toward eligibility to play. Of course the girls always did much of mine and it shows, LOL. Lets give the title a few more post. It will jump out at you.


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment by
Jay Squires
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  Rank:  4
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  Rank:  37
 

#4 Ranked Author
Excellent
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"Two are his." She held up one. "This is mine. Do you know where he is?" [So she's carrying 3 coffees in her hands?]

This is moving right along. It sounds like you have a very secure handle on high school teacher social activity. It all sounds so authentic.

Great job.



 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review. She sure it. I've done it, with my purse on my arm.
Comment by
2016, 2018 and 2020 Script Writer of the Year
judiverse
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  32
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  38
 

#5 Ranked Author
#2 Ranked Script Writer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
It seems that Katherine has found a new friend in Angie. She will need one, as Frost definitely has it in for her. Now he doesn't think she's up to teaching the classes she's been assigned. He's making himself look bad, and he doesn't seem to have many friends in the department. It is no doubt true that the athletes think their coaches are into torture. Excellent chapter. I'd steer away from "Against All Odds." It's been done. judi


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2020


reply by the author on 31-Oct-2020
    Thank you for the kind review. I agree about the title.

reply by judiverse on 31-Oct-2020
    You're very welcome. You'll think of a title as the story progresses. judi
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