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Reviews from
Meditation Station


Do You Really Think You Own Your Breath?

  52 total reviews 
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  200
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  68
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This uses the ocean as a metaphor for being deep in troubles and breathing once again as you get free of the waves that keep you under.
Good luck in the contest.
Congrats on being the reviewer of the month.
Joan


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Thank you, Joan, for your congratulations. I'm so happy you enjoyed my poem. A lot more than the judges, it seems. I lost, LOL.

reply by dragonpoet on 02-Feb-2021
    No problem, Jay. Sorry to here you lost.
    Joan

reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Thanks. I think it was a little too vague for their consideration.
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Author

#10 Ranked Novelist

#4 Ranked Poet

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like the haiku feel of your 5-7-5 poem. I like the thought that we all share the same air around the planet as it twirls. And that last line makes me think of the ocean depth of our subconscious. Best wishes in the contest!


 Comment Written 23-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 23-Dec-2020
    Thank you, Helen. I'm glad you enjoyed it. It seemed to have struck a nerve with a lot of people.
Comment by
--Turtle.
 
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  Rank:  210
 
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Hi, Jay,

I read through your meditation station 5-7-5. Late to the game, but still enjoyed the reflection.

The comment about not owning my own breath made me think of alien hand, and you are 2... the theory that there can be a silent brain inside your head, that has its own likes... potentially.

The mind likes to wander. In this 5-7-5, I'm given the feel of hearing the ocean to the voice of a meditation instructor, always saying to focus back on the breaths. Especially when the mind wanders.

I like how you double made the ocean like the self... and thoughts like waves... depths... and how water can be both peaceful and chaotic.

If you get under it all, there's unexplored things to find... beyond the surface of swish-swash that one's brain might dish out.


 Comment Written 19-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 19-Dec-2020
    Turtle, thanks! Bingo! You hit the nail on. The head, there's the problem that jumps in to solve the problem of calm and give it a jolt of reality. Again, thank you for reading this, friend. Have a happy, happy, holy and happy holiday.

reply by --Turtle. on 19-Dec-2020
    Thanks, Jay. You, too.
Comment by
juliaSjames
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  Rank:  288
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
The sixth star isn't only for merit. Sure, this is an accomplished and original metaphorical depiction of meditation. But it also reminds me of my all time favourite tee shirt which I kept until it fell apart because I loved what was written on it

earth is not everything
breathless holidays
under the sea

LOLOL okay okay I admit it ... I'm weird

Good luck in the contest

Stay safe

Blessings Julia




 Comment Written 14-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 14-Dec-2020
    LOL back atcha, Julia. A 6 is a 6 even when it's a reward for a mnemonic. As for wisdom on a tee shirt, I considered my own 3-line poem (not a 5-7-5) for that honor, but it was a bit too pricey:

    Bold new frontier probes
    where no wuss has gone before:
    semicolonoscopy

    Thank you, Julia. I really am honored that you liked my poem.

reply by juliaSjames on 14-Dec-2020
    Lololol
Comment by
kmoss
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  87
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  Rank:  39
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  Rank:  24
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  Rank:  46
 
Excellent
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I think you should post the meditation link in the comments. This poem brilliantly describes meditation. We shouldn't take our breath for granted. We should allow it to relieve us of the waves of messy thoughts that try to steal our focus.


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 12-Dec-2020
    Great interpretation, Krystal. I'm afraid too few people would go through the 10 minutes of silence for the 2 minutes of exposition. But it does explain a lot. Thank you for reading.
Comment by
djsaxon
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  158
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I immediately went into David Attenborough mode reading this. That environmental guru is one of my absolute heroes. Potent 5-7-5 with great thrust and flow mister. Thanks for sharing - DJ


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 12-Dec-2020
    I'll have to look up David Attenborough. In the meantime thank you for your kind words, DJ.
Comment by
Father Flaps
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  Rank:  70
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  Rank:  35
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  Rank:  72
 
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Hi Jay,
I've got too much imagination to relax and meditate underwater. I'm afraid only one thing comes to mind if I found myself in the ocean... sharks. Maybe I fall off a Disney cruise ship, or was robbed and tossed overboard! Maybe I survived a plain crash halfway between Newfoundland and Scotland. Or maybe I got caught in the outgoing tide while swimming on a Prince Edward Island vacation. Whatever the circumstance, I'd be looking for a shark fin. Like I said, a vivid imagination! Nothing blissful about getting eaten by a Great White... just ask Susan Backlinie, who played Chrissie Watkins, "Jaws" first victim. My thoughts would definitely be jangled. That's a minor statement.

Chers,
Kimbob



 Comment Written 11-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
    Ha! Thanks, Kimbob. You know what, though... your thoughts and mine are the same about sharks and a kind of agoraphobia of the ocean. You don't know what's coming up from beneath you. Is it any wonder that the Ocean has been used as a symbol of the Unconscious mind. A fear of what's down there.

    I cover that in a poem I wrote years ago, called "I Am a Skimmer of Stones" here on FanStory. I'm giving you the link to it, not for a review. It's too old. But I rather like it and think you might enjoy it. When you have a few minutes, here's the link (you have to paste it to your browser): https://www.fanstory.com/displaystory.jsp?hd=1&id=314774

    Anyhoo, thanks for the review, Kimbob. Be safe.
Comment by
joycetreasures
Author, Artist, Screenwriter, Sculptor, Numismatist,
Jesus I Don't Understand
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  92
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Review Stars
  Rank:  102
 
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Hello,
I never thought about your question before. However, every thing about my soul and breath is made by the my creator. Man did not make human kind. God did that. This is a thought provoking poem for sure. I like your artwork of the ocean. We can't breath under water, but above water we can think about life and our breathing. Your writing makes one think about many things. Well done and great artwork displayed. Great title also. It made me think!! Thanks. I am an optimist also.


 Comment Written 11-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
    Thank you, Joyce. That little poem is getting so much commentary.

reply by joycetreasures on 11-Dec-2020
    You are so welcome. Stay safe.
Comment by
June Sargent
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  18
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  57
 
Excellent
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You have provided much good for thought in this short piece. We never stop to think about the gift of life and the the joys that we take so much for granted. Be grateful for each day, each moment, each breath we take.


 Comment Written 11-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
    Amen, June. Especially in these times.
Comment by
JLR
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  11
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  67
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Review Stars
  Rank:  138
 
Excellent
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Jay what a wonderful question to posit to the world..Do we own our breathe? One could go deep into a infinite discussion about this subject. Kudo's for the depth of creative wonder.


 Comment Written 11-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 11-Dec-2020
    Thank you, JLR. I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.
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