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Reviews from
Coming Together in the Night


A star from heaven coming for Christmas

  7 total reviews 
Comment by
Sugarray77
Melissa
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  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  51
 
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Well done on your fusion sonnet, Jose. I loved the Christmas theme and you did a stellar job following the specifics of this form. Have you ever tried the English sonnet? Hope you are doing well, my friend.

Melissa


 Comment Written 08-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
    I've tried it and for some reason, I have problems with it. But I made friends with Dolly and she's English sonnet all the way. I'm learning.
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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  Rank:  11
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#5 Ranked Poet

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You're braver than I am. I was scared off by this form with so many rules. But you did a fine job. Your poem gave me a sad reflection on these times that we are living through. But with the Lord, we have a bright tomorrow to look forward to!


 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    I don't like this style of poem, Helen. As far as I know, this poet just wanted something that he could be remembered by. But I like a challenge so I wrote it.
Comment by
LeftHandedScribe
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The rhyme scheme is very well executed. My only suggestion is to simplify in the middle where is gets a little wordy: " There are countless lies in this world that those seeking truth lose sight. Yet, I believe the light traveling the cosmos is an angel from heaven" In just these two lines, brevity would serve this very well done piece.


 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thank you, Lefthandedscribe. This was a challenge for the club. It's not my style. You should read some of the poet Mondal's work. He really is wordy. :)
Comment by
Waterfowl
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The subject of your poem is nice but it seemed to be a little hard to find the rhyming structure at times, mostly in the middle section.

Though to be fair, I'm still a novice at poetry.


 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 06-Dec-2020
    Thank you Waterfowl. This Fusion sonnet is for the potlach poetry club. It is supposed to load the information of this 21 line sonnet. It didn't, but I just edit it. It's not my style, but I like a challenge. :)
Comment by
aryr
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This was great Jose. I liked how you blended the two stories together, your words enhanced each part. There is such a dismal force in the world around us yet you presented the love that can be, if only for a blink of an eye, which can be timeless. Well done and I loved the picture.


 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thank you, Alie. :) It really isn't my style of writing, but I like a challenge so I wrote it.

reply by aryr on 07-Dec-2020
    You are very welcome Jose, challenges are good for the soul.
Comment by
2019 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
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There is always something in life to upset the balance of it and thwart our day or even our entire life. This is what Covid did and stopped the world in its tracks and so many people have suffered as a result. I'm glad you sonnet ended on a positive note here, much enjoyed, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thank you, Dolly. :) I like your sonnets better.
Comment by
Sally Law
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  Rank:  30
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  Rank:  19
 

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I'm not an expert on Sonnets but I enjoyed this. A beautiful poem and aptly illustrated, too. As Jacob Marley said, mankind is our business. Sending you my best today as always,
Sally xo


 Comment Written 06-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
    Thank you, Sally. :)
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