FanStory.com - Reviews For Football Chapter 10 part 1

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Reviews from
Football - A Novel

Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Football Chapter 10 part 1"

A mother faces life's struggles.

30 total reviews

Comment by

Rosemary Everson1

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Rank: 95

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What kind friends to bring subs in for supper. It sounds like Katherine is a very busy woman/teacher who moved into a new surroundings and needs help with her automatic washing machine. I can feel the tension as she wants to be a power woman, too.

Comment Written 27-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 30-Jan-2021

Thank you for understanding.

Comment by

greyson ernst

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Rank: 102

(+2)

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Rank: 106

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Rank: 39

Excellent

this is really really good but once again why hulk does it mean the foot ball players are bulky and as always keep writing and stay safe

sincerely Greyson Ernst

Comment Written 20-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 23-Jan-2021

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment by

RetroStarfish

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Rank: 20

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Rank: 29

Excellent

This chapter does work, although I'm starting to think Gabriel is a bit pushy and presumptive. It was good for the Katherine character to remind him that it is her house.

Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Katherine will eventually shape him up, in her soft way. Thank you for the kind review.

Comment by

Elizabeth Emerald

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Excellent

You nailed it--touching and amusing re the Gabriel interacting with dog and kids--their intensity between him and Katherine rings true--brilliant dialog throughout.

Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thank you for the kind review.

Comment by

Ric Myworld

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Rank: 67

Excellent

Just inching in a little closer all the time, Gabriel is making his mark. Now, I'm wondering when the disgruntled fellow teacher is going to be out of jail and make his next move. Thanks for sharing.

Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

I can promise Frost will be making additional moves and more about him will be found out.

reply by Ric Myworld on 18-Jan-2021

I never had a doubt. :-)

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

You're sweet.

Comment by

Sanku

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Rank: 106

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Rank: 91

Exceptional

This work has reached the exceptional level

I loved the tiff between the boys and how Gabriel resolved it .Very natural and your style is very easy flowing .But though he heard the fighting between the boys I don't think he should have waited for one of them to open. Any way it lead to that delightful scene of the fight ..i loved how Hulk destroyed the lego castle

Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thank you. I agree Gabriel should have waited, but that's not who he is. LOL

Comment by

Pam (respa)

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Rank: 31

Exceptional

-This is a really good chapter, Barbara.
-It flowed effortlessly and was very touching.
-The opening was very good, and created
the tension that is also needed in a story.
-Your characterization of Gabriel throughout
was very good, and that is what I enjoyed.
-He helps the boys settle their difference,
is helpful and kind to Katherine.
-Slowly, a connection is developing, and
he is trying not to be overbearing, and
she is trying to be more appreciative of his help.
-One of these times, I imagine things will
progress a little more.
-I really enjoyed the story.

Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thank you for the encouragement.

reply by Pam (respa) on 18-Jan-2021

You are very welcome.

Comment by

Sankey

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Rank: 122

Exceptional

This was a really lovely chapter. I hope these two are getting closer. He really is a nice gentle fellow. I was worried you had not turned up. One spag. the large sorted piles (of)clothes.

Comment Written 18-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

You know I tend to leave out those little words. Thank you for catching them for me. I've corrected it.

Comment by

Wendy Gordon

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Rank: 45

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Rank: 14

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Rank: 9

Excellent

I am enjoying this writing. It sounds realistic, with kids fighting. When are Katharine and Gabriel going to become a couple?! it is written in a clear and easy style. Well done. Looking forward to the next.

Comment Written 17-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Thank you for the kind review. If Gabriel and Katherine get together the story is over. I have much more to write. LOL

Comment by

nomi338

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Rank: 63

(+1)

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Rank: 72

Excellent

I just met these characters and I already like them, especially coach. There is always a place for a good guy, one who is genuinely a good guy not a phony as some have the custom of being. Coach has many qualities I try to incorporate into my own personality. I am not always successful, but I do my best. I think I want to get to know these people better.

Comment Written 17-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 18-Jan-2021

Gabriel's not always successful either, but tries. Welcome and thank you for the kind review. Please drop by again.

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Football Chapter 15 part 1
A mother faces life's struggles.

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