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Reviews from
Race Day

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5 total reviews

Comment by

Wendy Gordon

Premier Author

Poet Rating

Rank: 45

(+1)

Author Rating For Short Works

Rank: 11

Review Stars

Rank: 5

#5 Ranked Reviewer

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I did enjoy this, reliving the race, but now being the presenter of the awards! A clever twist at the end. This is well written, and maintains the interest very successfully.

Comment Written 22-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review. I found this tucked away somewhere, an oldie that I wrote over 20 years ago.
Geoff

Comment by

2019 Poet of the Year

Dolly'sPoems

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Poet Rating

Rank: 1

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Review Stars

Rank: 3

#1 Ranked Poet!

#3 Ranked Reviewer

Excellent

A fine write and an honour to present the prize as the previous winner in your story here, you made this an exciting read with your well chosen words. Just one suggestion for this line:

(This was it! The reason for month(s) of sacrifice and sweat)

Love Dolly x

Comment Written 22-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review and correction. I tend to get excited when I'm on a roll.
Geoff

Comment by

Aaqib Naeem

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Rank: 229

Excellent

An interesting story which reinforces the idea that people, especially athletes, have a tendency to replay their glory days over and over in their head. It just becomes a part of who they are sometimes. I suppose it gives us all some semblance of peace and security that we have done something in life and not completely wasted it.

A suggestion... back to the present day as I raised my raised my hand in...you wrote 'raised my' twice here. Kindly correct that.

Overall, a well written and interesting story. Thumbs up! :-)

Comment Written 22-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review and correction. My proof reading needs work!!
Geoff

reply by Aaqib Naeem on 22-Jan-2021

You are most welcome! :-)

Comment by

Jenny Kartchner

Premier Author

Poet Rating

Rank: 101

Excellent

Fantastic and easy to read story. The details of a race might sound boring but you kept up the speed and it was a fun read with a super ending. Keep it up

Comment Written 22-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review. Glad you enjoyed.
Geoff

Comment by

kiwisteveh

Level 1 Pro

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Poet Rating

Rank: 42

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Rank: 173

Excellent

I liked the ending to your story which elevates this beyond a simple, predictable narrative. I wonder if you could work some foreshadowing into the first paragraphs - something to hint, but not give away the ending.

A couple of wee errors...
month --> months (para 2)
Also para 2 repetition of 'be known.'
ran out --> rang out
recovered myself - delete myself
repetition of 'raised my' in the final paragraph

Steve

Comment Written 22-Jan-2021

reply by the author on 22-Jan-2021

Thanks for your review and corrections. Some of these had already been pointed out. My proof reading skills need work!!
Geoff

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