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Reviews from
The Pods of Unknowing


Journey to Awakening

  29 total reviews 
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
Poet Rating
 
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Hi Jay. LOL for a novice fantasy/scifi fan this is ideal, but for a nerd like me, I found it difficult to keep pace with all the unusual references. But!!! I liked it in spite of my ignorance. It certainly had me thinking, my friend. Loved this line by the way:

"Maman always said I could find the melody and the counterpoint in the dropping of a camel's turd"

LOL Good luck with this in the contest, Horatio. :) Bob


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021
    Haha, thanks, Bob. I don't look to it doing well in the contest. I tried to keep the language spunky in spite of a lack of content.

reply by Mastery on 03-Feb-2021
    Good job actually if you are in that frame of mind. :) Bob
Comment by
Lyn Peters
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The Pods of Unknowing was a good read, Jay, with an exceptionally good ending. I don't typically read fantasy fiction, but I am so glad that I stopped on this entry. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Kind regards.


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021
    Thank you, Lyn. I'd look forward to your reading any of my writing.
Comment by
Cindy Decker 2
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  38
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  77 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  59
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Jay
,I am new to fantasy fiction, but I can say I like your story very much. The last part is suspenseful, wondering who will be at his door. I think loss of all knowledge could be the worst punishment for a person! I like the ending too.
Good luck in the contest,
Cindy


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021
    Thank you a lot, Cindy. I'm happy you took a chance with this one and that it found an appreciative reader.

reply by Cindy Decker 2 on 04-Feb-2021
    You?re welcome.
Comment by
DonandVicki
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I enjoyed reading your futuristic flash fiction as it engaged my imagination. The dialogue drew me into the story, the ending left me kicking and screaming, well done.


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Thank you, thank you, thank you! For your kindness and also the 6 stars. You made my evening pop!
Comment by
irishauthorme
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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  Rank:  92
 
Excellent
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This story jumps out at you from the opening sentence and the tension builds throughout. Good characters, you showed your combination Mexican, Russian, British-German(Scot?) protagonist as an unplanned child, interesting. Your dialogue added to the anxiety, OMG, what's going to happen next? The idea of a dual execution was exciting, and your words in the next to last paragraph fell like hammer blows:
"Two raps. Silence. Followed by another two."
Then the neat twist, "Maman!"
Is there a sequel?
irish


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Great! You caught all the nuances. The only one who mentioned that he was unplanned. A lot of people didn't catch the dual execution aspect of it. That was my best review for this story. Thank you.
Comment by
Susan Larson
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
While I am not a big fan of science fiction, I have to say that you captivated me from your first sentence. José Dmitriy Smytheburg. What a melodic merging of ethnicities. Usually I only get a few paragraphs in to a sci-fi story and lose interest. Your Pods of Unknowing kept me reading to the end. Six stars for that!


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Wow, Susan. Thank you for the kudos! And the six stars! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.
Comment by
Mary Kay Bonfante
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  224
 
Excellent
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This is very creative and very mysterious. It has a haunting beauty, as well. Is Jose's Maman his executioner? Or is she simply his guide? The image you chose is very appropriate and adds to the mystery of your story. I hope you do very well in this exciting contest.


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Thank you, Mary Kay. I'm happy you enjoyed the open-endedness of the plot. That was pretty much dictated by the word count.

reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 07-Feb-2021
    You're very welcome, Jay. Yes, I understand how it is with a limited word count. Sometimes you just have to let a mystery be. God bless you, my friend. - Mary Kay
Comment by
Iza Deleanu
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  238
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  108
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  40
Script Rating
  Rank:  8
Review Stars
  Rank:  551
 

#8 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Initiating into the unknown and unforeseen, the knowledge pass by the Executioner. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings.


 Comment Written 01-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
    Thank you so much for reading, Iza. And the lovely stars!
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  64
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  31
 

#4 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Jay,

Wow. Okay, I tell you what. If you don't care for the world you've got, just go ahead and make up your own, yeah? The good news about that is that you are strictly and wholly in charge - unlike here, where we are no longer in charge of anything.

Nice.

I read this a few times. Is mom the executioner? The teacher? Did she come to secrete him away? In your evil way, I'm rather certain you don't mean for us to know. Grrrrr....

Or, more likely, to ever even revisit. We will be left turning at the end of this rope forever. Twisting. Thanks.

Good writing, though, Master.


 Comment Written 01-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
    Haha, thanks, Robyn. I made those satellites for my subjects. You couldn't get me on one of them. I purposely left the story open-ended when I ran out of words. I'm just happy you didn't deduct a star for it, LOL.
Comment by
Suzanna Ray
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Dear Jay, This is indeed a very creative entry into what sounds like an intriguing contest title. Everything from what is seen or said, must be created from your imagination. It seems to me that you have done an excellent job at both, of these requirements.
Your illustration is interesting, because it represents the inhabitants of this strange planet, as being very human.


 Comment Written 01-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021
    Thank you very much, Suzanna, for your kind words.
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