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Reviews from
The Pods of Unknowing

Journey to Awakening

29 total reviews

Comment by

Mastery

Published Author

Semper Fi

Poet Rating

Author Rating For Short Works

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Review Stars

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Jay. LOL for a novice fantasy/scifi fan this is ideal, but for a nerd like me, I found it difficult to keep pace with all the unusual references. But!!! I liked it in spite of my ignorance. It certainly had me thinking, my friend. Loved this line by the way:

"Maman always said I could find the melody and the counterpoint in the dropping of a camel's turd"

LOL Good luck with this in the contest, Horatio. :) Bob

Comment Written 03-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021

Haha, thanks, Bob. I don't look to it doing well in the contest. I tried to keep the language spunky in spite of a lack of content.

reply by Mastery on 03-Feb-2021

Good job actually if you are in that frame of mind. :) Bob

Comment by

Lyn Peters

Review Stars

Excellent

The Pods of Unknowing was a good read, Jay, with an exceptionally good ending. I don't typically read fantasy fiction, but I am so glad that I stopped on this entry. I look forward to reading more of your work in the future. Kind regards.

Comment Written 03-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021

Thank you, Lyn. I'd look forward to your reading any of my writing.

Comment by

Cindy Decker 2

Premier Author

Premier Reader

Poet Rating

Rank: 38

Author Rating For Short Works

Rank: 77

(+1)

Author Rating For Novels

Review Stars

Rank: 59

Excellent

Jay
,I am new to fantasy fiction, but I can say I like your story very much. The last part is suspenseful, wondering who will be at his door. I think loss of all knowledge could be the worst punishment for a person! I like the ending too.
Good luck in the contest,
Cindy

Comment Written 03-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 03-Feb-2021

Thank you a lot, Cindy. I'm happy you took a chance with this one and that it found an appreciative reader.

reply by Cindy Decker 2 on 04-Feb-2021

You?re welcome.

Comment by

DonandVicki

Premier Author

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Review Stars

Exceptional

This work has reached the exceptional level

I enjoyed reading your futuristic flash fiction as it engaged my imagination. The dialogue drew me into the story, the ending left me kicking and screaming, well done.

Comment Written 02-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021

Thank you, thank you, thank you! For your kindness and also the 6 stars. You made my evening pop!

Comment by

irishauthorme

Premier Author

Premier Reader

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Review Stars

Rank: 92

Excellent

This story jumps out at you from the opening sentence and the tension builds throughout. Good characters, you showed your combination Mexican, Russian, British-German(Scot?) protagonist as an unplanned child, interesting. Your dialogue added to the anxiety, OMG, what's going to happen next? The idea of a dual execution was exciting, and your words in the next to last paragraph fell like hammer blows:
"Two raps. Silence. Followed by another two."
Then the neat twist, "Maman!"
Is there a sequel?
irish

Comment Written 02-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021

Great! You caught all the nuances. The only one who mentioned that he was unplanned. A lot of people didn't catch the dual execution aspect of it. That was my best review for this story. Thank you.

Comment by

Susan Larson

Review Stars

Exceptional

While I am not a big fan of science fiction, I have to say that you captivated me from your first sentence. Jos�© Dmitriy Smytheburg. What a melodic merging of ethnicities. Usually I only get a few paragraphs in to a sci-fi story and lose interest. Your Pods of Unknowing kept me reading to the end. Six stars for that!

Comment Written 02-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021

Wow, Susan. Thank you for the kudos! And the six stars! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it.

Comment by

Mary Kay Bonfante

Premier Author

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Review Stars

Rank: 224

Excellent

This is very creative and very mysterious. It has a haunting beauty, as well. Is Jose's Maman his executioner? Or is she simply his guide? The image you chose is very appropriate and adds to the mystery of your story. I hope you do very well in this exciting contest.

Comment Written 02-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021

Thank you, Mary Kay. I'm happy you enjoyed the open-endedness of the plot. That was pretty much dictated by the word count.

reply by Mary Kay Bonfante on 07-Feb-2021

You're very welcome, Jay. Yes, I understand how it is with a limited word count. Sometimes you just have to let a mystery be. God bless you, my friend. - Mary Kay

Comment by

Iza Deleanu

Premier Author

Poet Rating

Rank: 238

Author Rating For Short Works

Rank: 108

Author Rating For Novels

Rank: 40

Script Rating

Rank: 8

Review Stars

Rank: 551

#8 Ranked Script Writer

Excellent

Initiating into the unknown and unforeseen, the knowledge pass by the Executioner. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings.

Comment Written 01-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021

Thank you so much for reading, Iza. And the lovely stars!

Comment by

robyn corum

Word Twister

Story Catcher

Poet Rating

Rank: 4

Author Rating For Short Works

Rank: 64

Author Rating For Novels

Script Rating

Review Stars

Rank: 31

#4 Ranked Poet

Excellent

Jay,

Wow. Okay, I tell you what. If you don't care for the world you've got, just go ahead and make up your own, yeah? The good news about that is that you are strictly and wholly in charge - unlike here, where we are no longer in charge of anything.

Nice.

I read this a few times. Is mom the executioner? The teacher? Did she come to secrete him away? In your evil way, I'm rather certain you don't mean for us to know. Grrrrr....

Or, more likely, to ever even revisit. We will be left turning at the end of this rope forever. Twisting. Thanks.

Good writing, though, Master.

Comment Written 01-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021

Haha, thanks, Robyn. I made those satellites for my subjects. You couldn't get me on one of them. I purposely left the story open-ended when I ran out of words. I'm just happy you didn't deduct a star for it, LOL.

Comment by

Suzanna Ray

Review Stars

Excellent

Dear Jay, This is indeed a very creative entry into what sounds like an intriguing contest title. Everything from what is seen or said, must be created from your imagination. It seems to me that you have done an excellent job at both, of these requirements.
Your illustration is interesting, because it represents the inhabitants of this strange planet, as being very human.

Comment Written 01-Feb-2021

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2021

Thank you very much, Suzanna, for your kind words.

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