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Reviews from
From Siberia To The Sea


Two men seek freedom in the face of certain death

  10 total reviews 
Comment by
Ben Colder
CHARLES EZELL
SHERIDAN
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  185
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Review Stars
  Rank:  101
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The plot is good. The environment, and the characters are believable. On my first, it was tough but I later changed and went to stage from video. Some difference. I see nothing wrong but there are 5 ways to do this and all are challenging. I doubt anyone here on this site would ever know the difference. They may act and grade you as they do but I doubt they even know.
Your story line is interesting to certain audiences. Now comes the questions concerning, why the missionary? On- AND oN.

Stan there is a movie called running as fast as my feet will carry me. Take a look at it. You can pick up some very good pointers.
It is built upon keeping a promise to his family no matter the cost. Places you where your story begins and the enviromant.
Please keep it going. It is worth it.


 Comment Written 04-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 05-Feb-2021
    I just thought as a script or book it was important to show that missionaries can be accused of being agents of America and are easily dispensed with and almost forgotten, but also the political Russian prisoner could easily be Nalvany who recently was to be sent to a prison camp for opposing Putin. P.S. I did review book, Silent Hand of God, but it was listed out of print, and I'm unable to buy and read it. I simply wrote about you the person I've comet to know and what your writing strength and style exhibits without being dishonest about the work. Sorry I couldn't do more or say more.
    Stan

reply by Ben Colder on 05-Feb-2021
    I appreciate your words and review. I hired these people to print my work as it is a print on demand. Because I refuse to pay them money to keep it listed on Amazon which is free, they dropped me after paying them 4000 dollars. Wolf is sheep clothing. Never do business with these people.
Comment by
Mistydawn
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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  Rank:  11
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  93
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a great first attempt. I took a course a few years back, but haven't used it forgotten a lot, so I'd probably just mess you up. Your scene is harrowing, Your characters are believable and their thoughts and actions seem realistic, really bring your men to life. Good luck with your contest.


 Comment Written 03-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 04-Feb-2021
    Thanks Misty. It means much. New adventure.
Comment by
Alaskastory
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  26
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Review Stars
  Rank:  149
 
Excellent
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"From Siberia To The Sea" is a good story and you put it together well. In scripts a character's action is in ( ) usually before or after he speaks. No quote marks are used. Scene changes are in separate paragraphs. The speaker is in all capital letters.

Delete a word: ".....with ice until it melts (where) warms...."


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Thanks Marie. I tried to use the advance editor or transfer over from Word. I had it in italics, but I think it's because I didn't paste it.
Comment by
Rdfrdmom2
Rdfrdmom2
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  58
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  37 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  19
Review Stars
  Rank:  26
 
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FORESTPORT12:

I don't think the perks of the advanced editor matter all that much. I was absolutely fascinated with your story and italics and centering would
not have added to that. I think this is a good entry for the script contest.
BTW, are you interested in developing this a bit further?

Rdfrdmom2


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    I desperately want to find someone who has ability to edit script writing. Do you do that kind of editing? You made my day based on what you said about the overall story hook and plot.

reply by Rdfrdmom2 on 06-Feb-2021
    Unfortunately, no I don't.
Comment by
BethShelby
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  61
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  44
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  8
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  16
 

#8 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a chilling screen play and it would make the beginning of a great play or movie. This would be scene one. I would like to see it continued and these men get back to civilization. I enjoyed reading it.


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Thanks so much Beth.
Comment by
Carol Hillebrenner
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  53
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  72
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like your story. It has a lot of potential. But there are a few problems. If a character is going to speak, the words and tag line belong together and if he speaks again before the other character can speak, the entire speech is kept together. (Notes on what he is doing are in parenthesis within the speech.) Also you have left our a lot of little words. The Russian might leave them out because he's speaking in English but the American would not. If you read aloud carefully, you will notice what is missing. Best of luck with this.


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Thanks! I'm trying to cut my teeth on this first real screen project.
Comment by
Carol Clark2
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  122 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Excellent
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This is an interesting story/script. There are a few typos that need correction, but the dialogue is realistic. You have added an element of intensity to the drama of this scene. It's a fine entry for the contest, and a very good first attempt at a script.


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Thanks. I appreciate the mention about realism and dialogue.

reply by Carol Clark2 on 03-Feb-2021
    You're welcome. Best wishes in the contest. Carol
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  37
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  11
 

#2 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Stan,

I thought this was really powerful. I love the fact that it seemed quite realistic and sad and also hopeful. I also liked that they wouldn't eat the mouse - they still had principles. Very good. Thank you and good luck!


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    I appreciate always hearing from you Robyn, in part because I know you won't just tell me what I want to hear.
Comment by
2020 Poet of the Year
royowen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  19
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  1
 

#1 Ranked Reviewer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
The true tragedy is this is true, many dying fo their faith, many, I'll fed and and starving, whose only crime is to try to give hope to those without hope, to love in the love of the saviour, who paid the ultimate price, and be willing to do the same, well done, blessings, Roy
Typo (Lays) on an on an old mattress, Lies? 2: Grins with wild (artic)-blue. Arctic?
3: We can see it on (a) clear day...4: Across the (Bearing) sea. Bering?


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Oh my, I can't believe I misspelled Bering Sea. No one else noticed. I really appreciate your thoughts on faith and persecution, and how it does still exist. My choice for a political prisoner with a missionary is because both are so relevant, and just in the news, they are sending Putin's political opponent to a prison camp!

reply by royowen on 03-Feb-2021
    Most welcome
Comment by
JLR
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  11
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  97
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  146
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Author, this is a well crafted narrative in script form, a the principal characters would present a great challenge in collegiate acting class. You have presented the complexity of two while not comrades do represent a special bond. A good real, thanks


 Comment Written 02-Feb-2021



reply by the author on 02-Feb-2021
    Thanks so much for this interesting understanding of how it would present a challenge for actors. It actually made me think of the great acting of Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman on that Island.
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