Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

5-7-5 Poetry
Deadline: In 2 Days

Loop Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 2 Days

75 Words Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 5 Days

My Faith Poetry
Deadline: Dec 10th

Fantasy Writing Contest
Deadline: Dec 14th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
New Choice of The Grim Reapers

The Grim Reapers' specialty field is playing out.

  19 total reviews 
Comment by
samandlancelot
Patricia
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Beth Shelby,

I like your futuristic story with the grim reapers without any bodies to reap. Their discussion about what to do with their dilemma was entertaining.

Patricia


 Comment Written 20-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 21-Mar-2021
    I really appreciate you reading and commenting on this.
    Beth
Comment by
Mary Furlong
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  240
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I would call them grin reapers instead of grim reapers. Lots of humor in this, albeit dark humor. Do you write many scripts? I used to write a lot of them for our little theatre.


 Comment Written 19-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 19-Mar-2021
    Thank you for the review and the comments. I don't I've written but two before this one. They are fun. I might try to do more.
    Beth
Comment by
Brett Matthew West
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  29
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  26
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  168
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Is YamarA?ja correct?

Corona virus should be Coronavirus

In the next to last line "the leave" should be "they leave"

A very interesting idea. When something fizzles out find a new way to keep going.


 Comment Written 18-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 18-Mar-2021
    Thank you for the review and for the comment and heads up on the errors which I fixed. The third a should have a line over it in Yamaraja. I don't know how to make it.
Comment by
Ric Myworld
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  23
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  23
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
LOL. Yep, even grim reapers just have to keep an open mind and something new will come to them. What am I saying? Oh, well, it's fun and entertaining. Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021
    Thank you Ric, I'm glad you got a laugh from this dark humor. I appreciate the review.
    Beth
Comment by
WalkerMan
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  181
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This humor script is indeed amusing in places, which is fortunate because the reality behind it is disturbing. You handled it well with sufficient balance. The dialog is plausible for the situation, and the pace of the conversation is realistic. Yes, when one's current field of endeavor fades away, re-education in a rising field makes sense. It is sad that such opportunities for these grim reapers exist (or will exist), but you have created characters that readers can relate to with a degree of compassion. Superb, and aptly illustrated.

Below are easily fixed items not affecting the star rating.

Yama's second turn to speak, s5:
protest since => protest, since
[Use a comma before as, for, or since when it means because (which itself does not take a preceding comma).]

Thanatos's second turn to speak, last sentence:
U.S. Capital building => U.S. Capitol building
[The city is the capital (with "a"), but the building is the Capitol (with "o").]

Mot's third turn to speak:

s1: Thanatos' idea => Thanatos's idea
[Rule 1: A singular name ending in "s" takes apostrophe plus "s" ('s) to form its possessive.]
[Rule 2: Singular Jones becomes plural Joneses; its singular possessive follows Rule 1 (Mr Jones's), while its plural possessive is Joneses' (standard).]

s2: opportunity, and => opportunity; and
[Semicolon Rule: Use a semicolon at main clause break if at least one main clause already includes a comma.]


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 17-Mar-2021
    Thank you so much for the review and for the help with punctuation. I wasn't aware of the rule concerning a sentence that already had comma's needing a semicolon. I'm glad you told about it. I especially thrilled that you consider my script worthy of six stars. I've not written many scripts.
    Beth

reply by WalkerMan on 17-Mar-2021
    You are most welcome, Beth. Your post earned the sixth star for its creative theme and dialog.

    Regarding punctuation, in your reply you meant commas because
    the simple plural form of a noun does not include an apostrophe. I mention it to help you avoid that common error in future writing.

    The Semicolon Rule applies in a sentence composed of two or more main clauses, each with its own subject and verb, either when there is no coordinating conjunction (and, or, but, yet, so) between the main clauses (Main clause 1; main clause 2.) or when there is a coordinating
    conjunction at the main clause break plus at least one comma other than at that clause break. Think of it as a "super-comma" stronger than an ordinary comma. Examples:

    A. Main clause 1, containing at least one comma; and main clause 2.
    B. Main clause 1; but main clause 2, containing at least one comma.

    C. Main clause 1, or main clause 2; but main clause 3.
    D. Main clause 1; yet main clause 2, and main clause 3.
    In the examples C and D, the semicolon goes at the strongest break because "but" and "yet" indicate stronger breaks than "and" and "or" do.

    E. Main clause 1; and main clause 2, containing a comma; so main clause 3.
    In example E, both main clause breaks need a semicolon because at least one of those main clauses (here, the second one), contains a comma.

    I hope these examples make the Semicolon Rule clearer. -- Mike
Comment by
2020 Poet of the Year
royowen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  10
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 
 Rank:  1
 

#10 Ranked Poet

#1 Ranked Reviewer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This sounds like it might be a hit, with all the things going on at the moment, it seems to be set at a future time when all these "jollies" were going on. Your scripts are great Beth, I guess you've not written many, but this is very professional, well done, blessings Roy


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
    No, I've never written enough scripts to get recognized in that category. They are fun and I like a challenge. I try to write more. Thank you so much for the review of my rather dark subject.
    Beth

reply by royowen on 16-Mar-2021
    Excellent job
Comment by
Suzanna Ray
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Dear Beth, It matters not when you first wrote this, I think it worthy of a sixth star, just because of your imagination.
I do hope you will pick some other stuff out of your closet, and post them too?


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
    I thank you for the stars before I thank you for reading and commenting on my poem. I'm so glad you liked it.
    Beth
Comment by
Mistydawn
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  23
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a cute script. It's very well-written, interesting, well thought out. Your dialogue seems realistic. With technology the way it is I'm sure it's something many faces. Not the death part, of course, but losing their jobs, having to figure out a different way. Good luck with your contest.


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
    Thank you for the review and the nice comments. I hoped you would like my dark humor. The picture inspired me to write this.
    Beth
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  5
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  7
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
Football Chapter 34 part 2
Melton Ivory continues to stalk Katherine.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#5 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I enjoyed reading your contest entry. I do hear the crime/murder rate in the Woke Cities is still raging due to defunding the police. Maybe they could go there. LOL You are extremely creative. Please keep writing. Good luck with the contest.


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
    Thank you, Barbara. I appreciate the review and comment. I'm glad you enjoyed this.
    Beth
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
Level 1 Pro
Premier Poet
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  74
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  78
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  73
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is really funny, Beth. Touches on all the sad sides of life. As the world turns, things change and even death gets a few bad years in between all the turmoil. Well thought out and addressed. Nancy:)


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2021



reply by the author on 16-Mar-2021
    Thank you Nancy, I appreciate the review and comments. I'm glad you got a chuckle from this different kind of script. I thought I already written something to you but this is showing I much not have hit save.
    Beth
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Football Chapter 34 part 2
A mother faces life's struggles.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy