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Reviews from
Fox and Felix Fine: First Case 4

a one-scene script with Fox and Felix

  10 total reviews 
Comment by
kahpot
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  36
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  59
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Confusion and mayhem added with the entrance of Lois/Lori, hard to say whether Trent is lying about Kitty's whereabouts, an excellent read, very well written****kahpot


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    Onward to elightenment!
Comment by
2020 Poet of the Year
royowen
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  10
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 Rank:  1
 

#10 Ranked Poet

#1 Ranked Reviewer!
Excellent
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These excellent created characters fit very well into your menagerie Bil, brilliantly diverse and quirky, and with even quirkier characters into the mix. Wonderfully scribed my friend, well done, blessings Roy


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    Thank you so much, Roy.

reply by royowen on 13-Jul-2021
    Well done Bill
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  12
Script Rating
  Rank:  6
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  2
 

#2 Ranked Author

#3 Ranked Poet

#6 Ranked Script Writer

#2 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
How does Fox know that Kitty is back home? It's good that Felix is able to avoid the assaults but knives are his downfall. He seems to have a high pain tolerance. Hope to see Kitty is safe. I don't know if the Fine brothers can collect the reward money if Kitty got home by herself.


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    Questions. Love to create questions. Time for part five. Thanks for following, lyenochka.
Comment by
Jay Squires
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  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  31
 

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
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This is so much fun to read! I'm having a ball. I have to wonder, though, if there will be a logical chain of motive that Fox and Felix had picked up on from the beginning which led them to the hangar and Trent and Fay; Fox and Felixes subsequent accusations attended by some pretty severe pummeling of the "accuseds". I trust it will be more substantial than a guess. But ... I have faith in you!


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    I'm saving a pooka as a deus ex machina if I can't bring it into the port. : )

reply by Jay Squires on 12-Jul-2021
    That's cool about Pooka, only you should provide some Pooka-like activity off-stage, barely discernible if you know what I mean, so that later the reader/viewer can say, "sure, I remember that back in scene 5".

reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    Check!!
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
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  Rank:  26
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 Rank:  33
 
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Schott
Your one-scene script with Fox and Felix
Fox and Felix Fine: First Case 4.
I found that you know how to a reader smile
Felix: (smiling while parrying the woman's attempt, he grabs and directs her body violently to the floor.) Have a seat,
grasshopper
Smiles when Felix sad,: Have them send the pizza and beer dogs too.

Yes, I had a good time reading your script
Gert


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    Thank you, Gert

reply by Gert sherwood on 12-Jul-2021
    You are welcom.
    Gert
Comment by
Ginnygray
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  Rank:  131
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  Rank:  67
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Excellent
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Great script with a lot of humor as Felix and Fox corner two people in an airplane hangar suspected of smuggling drugs. They confront Fay who pulls out a knife injuring Felix, but luckily misses the bone. Trent finally agrees to help. Looking forward to the next chapter.


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    Thanks, Ginnygray
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  2
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  27
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  60
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  15
 

#2 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Bill,

This one is a bit confusing - but I think it's one of those scenes that would make sense if the next part were right behind it. I mean, if this were in a setting (a normal one) where it were to be read continuously.

A single note:
--> throws it at Felix)
Felix: (steps into the flight of the knife, taking it in the upper arm)
--> If she threw it AT him, it doesn't make much sense that he had to step INTO the flight of it as if he was trying to save someone else - see what I mean? If it had been aimed at Fox, that would make sense.

Enjoyed!


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    I meant step forward into it. When using a sac-wing defense the target makes his arm the striking point to neutralize the threat and move on
Comment by
nomi338
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  52
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  74
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Review Stars
  Rank:  60
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Why does Fay keep trying to hurt Felix, she has had enough failures by now to just accept the fact that she is not that good at martial arts and just give up. Get a gun and shoot the man and get it over with. This story has my head swirling, you are making me dizzy trying to keep up with the goings and comings. I need air, lots of air.


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    Whoooosh! How's that?
Comment by
Raffaelina Lowcock
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  43
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  39 (+1)
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  Rank:  15
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Review Stars
  Rank:  72
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
These two don't seem to know how to conduct a proper interview and consequently, each interview is a confrontation of sorts. And, as always, the wrong names are bandied about.

Ralf


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    This is their first case. I'm sure they'll get better at this, if they are still in business.

reply by Raffaelina Lowcock on 12-Jul-2021
    Ha, ha! You think
Comment by
Jeff Watkins
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  Rank:  137
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  Rank:  85
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I getting into the swing of things with your edgy characters and pace. Felix reminds me of a surly porcupine. In this scene the pressure of time, the danger and excitement of sky diving, and verbal and physical assaults leave scarcely a moment without some sharp edge.

Perhaps you could have a moment wherein a character could loll around with a hangover? Jeff


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2021



reply by the author on 12-Jul-2021
    Perhaps one could be studied in their sleep.
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