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Reviews from
Scene at a Supermarket Prkg Lot

a one-scene script with Pons and Ned

  17 total reviews 
Comment by
Father Flaps
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Hi Bill,
I'm just wondering where Ned's boss is while he's galivanting around the neighborhood, joy-riding on shopping carts? Without Pons, I'm pretty sure he'd get fired in no time. But he seems to be having fun. How many people hate their jobs today? Too many, I'm thinking.
Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob


 Comment Written 10-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 10-Sep-2021
    Thanks, Kimbob. Odds are Ned doesn?t even work there.
Comment by
Ric Myworld
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Your wit and sense of humor shine through in everything you write and keep me coming back to see what you will come up with next. Thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 09-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 09-Sep-2021
    Thanks very much, Ric.
Comment by
2016, 2018 and 2020 Script Writer of the Year
judiverse
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Oh, just as I was thinking this would be a great job for Ned, it seems that he even messes it up, collecting shopping carts from other stores. I hope Pons has him straightened out so he can keep his job. At Kroger, where I shop, they really take care of those carts and make sure they get back into the store. I sometimes see an errant cart travel quite a distance on its own. Maybe Ned could claim he was just collecting unruly carts that had strayed off their reservation. judi


 Comment Written 08-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 08-Sep-2021
    Ned has proven he can gather shopping carts better than anybody. He simply needs some parameters.
Comment by
patricia dillon
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I can sympathize with Ned. I am prone to misunderstandings myself. It would be my dream job too, Who could ask for more than to scoot around the local supermarkets all day?


 Comment Written 08-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 08-Sep-2021
    Job with a future.
Comment by
Lisa Wharton
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What a goofy play! I thought it was Ned who was collecting shopping carts from allover the town, not Pons. Why do you have the following dialogue:
Ned: Well, sure. A course, first, I'd haff ta tell ya how awful dumb you was ta haul them carts here from all oafer town

It may be a joke I don't get.



 Comment Written 08-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 08-Sep-2021
    You're right. You don't. Pons' and Ned's understanding is that they cover each other's back. Pons doesn't tell Ned he's an idiot, but Ned acknowledges what anyone else would have said to him, probably without helping him fix it.
    These two have been around for a few years, so readers understand their relationship.
Comment by
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lyenochka
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Ah, Pons is such a good guy, supportive of Ned, no matter what he does. I think the problem of disappearing shopping carts is problem nationwide. Now they added an automated thing to make the carts set off alarms if you try to exit the store without going through the checkout.


 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 08-Sep-2021
    I like Aldi?s method. You have to insert a quarter to unlock a cart from a train of them, and won?t get it back until the cart is reconnected, releasing the coin.
Comment by
nomi338
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How wise and intelligent to be a self aware idiot I like Ned, I really do and it pains me to call him and idiot. It takes a lot of self awareness to be able to acknowledge that some of your actions are not wise and yet to readily admit to doing them. It makes one wonder.


 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 08-Sep-2021
    Ned chose his cousin wisely.
Comment by
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royowen
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Once more we see another "exciting" adventure with Pons and Ned, with Ned becoming a little with the job he's got retrieving the shopping trollies of the store he's working for, but getting confused with the others near and far of other stores, poor old Ned, just as well he's got a friend like Pons. Heh heh. Great write Bill, blessings Roy


 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Roy. Ned is a job in himself.

reply by royowen on 08-Sep-2021
    Welcome Bill
Comment by
Jay Squires
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#3 Ranked Script Writer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Ned's not as dumb as he appears. It would be nice to do what feels good and know that you have a cousin who's gonna come in like the cavalry and get you out of trouble. Always fun to read. You know, your Pons and Ned adventures make me think of the newspaper comic strips. I don't suppose you have any talent as a cartoonist? That would be too much to ask for.


 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    I am working towards a Pons and Ned collection with some hired artwork.

reply by Jay Squires on 07-Sep-2021
    So, I wasn't far off!
Comment by
Mary Shifman
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  Rank:  85
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  Rank:  65
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  Rank:  8
 
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This story gave me a good laugh. Poor Pons--he might have gotten his instructions messed up but he was sure enjoying himself. Your script was easy to read and easy to follow and funny. Well done.


 Comment Written 07-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 07-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Mary, for giving this a look. Bill
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