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Reviews from
Momma (Part One)


Don't Mess With Momma

  8 total reviews 
Comment by
kahpot
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  Rank:  58
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  Rank:  49
 
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Excellent, I really like the way you have written this making Momma believable, "never lied unless she had to" and she believed in the Lord but not those who represented Him, very well written****kahpot


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
    Your reviews are always so complimentary I really appreciate that.
    That line, 'never lied unless she had to,' could perhaps be a little autobiographical. Thank you for giving my poem the time to read and review. I'm presently playing with a possible part two for Momma. Could be posted in the next day or two.
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
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It's true you don't have to go to Church to be a good Christian, Bob. Nor will good works get you into Heaven. It is totally what sort of relationship you have with God the Father and His Son, Jesus. I'm sure momma had her reasons for the way she felt. LOL Nancy:)


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
    Just noticed, your final sentence 'Momma had her reasons for the way she felt,' would have been a perfect start to the next verse, 11 syllables and all. I just may get on to that. Second line could have been. 'Always had her rules, and Pop's hard old leather belt.
    Watch out for Momma part two, coming soon.
Comment by
Paul McFarland
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That's a good one, Bob. The rhyme scheme is great, but this would be a six star, no problem, if it read a little smoother. I'd sure like to see this with the meter improved.


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
    Paul thanks for the reply I appreciate your comment and I will attempt to rework it. I generally do a syllable count but I may have missed this one.

reply by Paul McFarland on 17-Sep-2021
    Sometime the syllable count is not enough. Most multi-syllable words have strong and weak accents on syllables that have to be taken into consideration.
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
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 Rank:  13
 

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This poem, Momma, paints a picture of a woman with integrity, but who was not stereotypic@l of the dutiful Christian mother kissing rings at the church door. Parents do for us in their way. Nice poem for Momma.


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
    I'm not sure integrity applied to her, I would suggest opinionated more accurate. Thank you for reading. Momma part two may appear in the next few days. Hope you enjoy it also.
Comment by
Mary Shifman
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This is interesting. If you are writing about your own Momma, she must have been a special lady. She sounds strong and independent and wise. My dad was like that. He was a good man and his Church was Nature but he had little used for Churches or preachers. I enjoyed your poem because it reminded me a lot of him.


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
    Strong, independent and wise, I would have thought loud-mouthed more appropriate. She is a total figment of my imagination.
    But as an altar boy sixty odd years ago I did come across a lot of 'old dears' who believed they truly ran the Parish. This is sort of based on them.

reply by Mary Shifman on 17-Sep-2021
    Perhaps, but I did say IF she was your mother! One with any diplomacy at all never puts down someones mother. In any case you are welcome. I did like the poem.

reply by the author on 18-Sep-2021
    Who would ever suggest I spoke, or wrote diplomatically. I think I would have liked your Dad also.

reply by Mary Shifman on 18-Sep-2021
    I think you would have liked him. Have a great day.
Comment by
2020 Poet of the Year
royowen
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She sounds like a pretty incredible woman your momma, but I don't think she'd argue with God, wise people would never argue with someone who's always right, that why He's the "go to" person in my book. I'm a sucker for the truth, even though I slip now and then. Beautifully written Bob. An excellent post, blessings Roy


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 17-Sep-2021
    Roy, I do utilise poetic licence occasionally and arguing with the Lord was one of those times of exaggeration. I apologised to the Lord as I wrote this, and I believe He gave me the OK.

reply by royowen on 17-Sep-2021
    That?s important Bob
Comment by
pookietoo
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Nice poem about Momma enjoyed reading this poem. Keep up with the poem writing and sharing your poems with us. I enjoyed reading this poem. Keep smiling.


 Comment Written 16-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
    She always frightened me. Sort of reminded me of Grandma in The Beverley Hillbillies. A dear old soul who was only with us about 40% of the time. But she meant well and she swore like a trooper.


Comment by
2019 and 2021 Poet of the Year
Dolly'sPoems
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Your Momma makes good sense, judging people on their actions and not what they say is good advice. Some church goers are hypocritical, believing in one thing and doing another, I enjoyed the sentiment here Bob, an entertaining poem, love Dolly x


 Comment Written 16-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 16-Sep-2021
    She did make sense on her good days. And she did have a tough life. On her bad days she really was different. She enjoyed a drink and she swore. As a kid I was called names I didn't understand, but I sure got the message quick. Thanks for reviewing my Nan.
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