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Reviews from
The Late Arrival


a 150-word story

  19 total reviews 
Comment by
Elizabeth Emerald
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  1
Author Rating For Novels
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  5
 

#1 Ranked Author!

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
SSSSSStupendous! Congratulations on your well-earned prize, Bill. This is as fine a flash as I've seen. So glad I caught up to this gem. Stunning ending; masterful misdirection. Brilliant piece. Cheerssssss. LIZ


 Comment Written 26-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Liz, for the encouraging and kind review. Bill
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  100 (+3)
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  Rank:  54
 
Excellent
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Bill,
It sounds like a lonely funeral for this guy. He may have been a long time soldier and had a rough return that caused the drinking. It is said when a person dies alone.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan


 Comment Written 26-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Joan, for the kind review. Bill

reply by the author on 26-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Joan, for the kind review. Bill
Comment by
Raffaelina Lowcock
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  Rank:  45
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  Rank:  37
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  Rank:  15
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  Rank:  39
 
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The loss of popularity affected his departure and basically the same for his return. His return was the movement of his body to the final resting place. Well done.

Ralf


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Ralf.
Comment by
Frank Ball
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  Rank:  314
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  Rank:  120
 
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That is well done; I must say. The ending bursts forth to reveal the answer to all the questions that build throughout. Well done; I say again in respect of your skill.


 Comment Written 23-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 23-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Frank, for the excellent review.
Comment by
Kamrynn June
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  327 (+1)
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Excellent
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This is a wonderful short and sweet little story, Bill! I was instantly hooked and ready for more. Sad, happy, and full of mystery; leaving one with a desire for the writer to keep going! Artwork compliments nicely:)

-K


 Comment Written 21-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 22-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Kamrynn, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment by
Jerome Goldberg
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  Rank:  323
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  Rank:  130 (+1)
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  Rank:  156
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Bill - Exceedingly well done. A very subtle and well written description of one Marine / Soldier's trip from enlistment to grave. The world can be a lonely place - Jerry


 Comment Written 20-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Jerry, fo4 the terrific review. Bill
Comment by
2016, 2018 and 2020 Script Writer of the Year
judiverse
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  23
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  Rank:  6
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  Rank:  2
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  Rank:  43
 

#6 Ranked Author

#2 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
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This flows beautifully. Everything leads up to the final scene with the tales, tears, taps, and interment. The individual mentioned doesn't seem to have acquired many friends along the way, maybe because he was moving about so much. The image at the end is sad. "Taps" is always so sad to me. You create a mood in this, despite the limited wording the flash fiction allows. Best of luck in the contest. judi


 Comment Written 20-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Judi, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment by
juliaSjames
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  Rank:  96
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  Rank:  105
 
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Excellent misdirection in your ff. It wasn't until the final the paragraph that it became clear that the wayward boy who had joined the service was returning home as a deceased war hero.

You covered an entire lifetime in this short post..

"he had been gone longer than he had actually lived here" - I don't want to mess with your write, but I would suggest "actually lived in his home town" for clarity. You could trim an earlier paragraph if the word count is off.

Best of luck in the contest.

Stay safe healthy and blessed

Julia


 Comment Written 20-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 20-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Julia, for the helpful suggestion. Bill
Comment by
2014 Story Writer Of The Year
humpwhistle
Level 11 Pro
Premier Author
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Poet Rating
 
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  Rank:  7
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Review Stars
  Rank:  162
 

#7 Ranked Author
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Ah, what stories would he tell? Where had he been all that time? Were his major crimes committed before his departure, or after?
I like the bit about the poster family waving goodbye.
Is the last word supposed to be internment?

Best of luck, Bill.

Peace, Lee


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
    Internment means confinement, like an internment camp. Interment, which I used, means buried. I had to look it up as apparently the online dictionary is confused. Thanks for keeping me honest.
Comment by
BethShelby
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  53
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  63
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  10
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  8
 

#10 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is good flash fiction. It certainly has the surprise ending which I look forward to in order to get some meaning out of flash fiction. I say the word morbid works well to explain his return. Nicely done.


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2021



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2021
    Thank you, Beth, for the positive and encouraging review. Bill
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