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Reviews from
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Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Barbs and Carbs"

The Quarterback from Mt. Olympus

  31 total reviews 
Comment by
Sissy
 
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Hey David,

This was damned funny and I can't wait to see where it's going. Heracles never seemed like the brightest bulb, that's for sure, and the Neanderthal reference was a classic.

Again, I love the relationship between Zeus and Hera. Can't wait to read more of this!

Take care,
Sissy


 Comment Written 27-May-2006


Comment by
MercurySeven
 
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LOL! Sparks flyin' between Mr & Mrs and the best seats in the house. I can somehow just picture Heracles taking out three or four brutes in a single tackle. You're on venomous form with this one, brother; it's like a backstage pass to the Trojan War, only it's game night instead. Keep 'em coming.


 Comment Written 25-May-2006


Comment by
mhk
 
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This was a hoot. Or is it an hoot? Either way, you've penned a boisterous romp in the heavens. Love Zeus's wife's intonation, and Neanderthal knuckles. Lovely visuals, with Zeus, as usual, insisting on centre stage.


 Comment Written 22-May-2006


Comment by
tgeoff
 
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Perfect cadence to read and imagery that was delightful.
I am thankful for Edith Hamilton for my love of mythology.
Though that bastard Zeus did toss his crippled son Vulcan to earth.
But here in Birmingham, we have erected a monument for the
the poor boy.
Good reading your stuff again, it is always a lesson in writing.
ciao
geoff


 Comment Written 20-May-2006


Comment by
aBoxofBrokenCrayons
 
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LOL!
This is the first chapter I've been able to read, and I'm glad I came across this. It was humorous and still fed a bit of knowledge. The rhyme scheme, along with punctuation were perfect. I can't think of anywhere I could help.

"so Neanderthal his knuckles scrape" *Awesome description.

Nice job,
Paul-


 Comment Written 20-May-2006


Comment by
kcastle11
 
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Marillion

I'm excited to read more about the football game. The series is very well done and I am liking every word of it. Write more soon.


 Comment Written 20-May-2006


Comment by
TheScientist
 
 
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Very nice poem. I especially enjoyed the rhyming. My favorite lines:

A thunder-clap disturbs the mountain air,
and Zeus re-enters with a molten stare

Powerful wording. Thank you for sharing.


 Comment Written 20-May-2006


Comment by
joelh605
Level 2 Pro
I'm dogmatically certain about much.
Hey, it's MY flaw - go get your own!
 
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Your title is a howler!

Are these olympians, or merely Homer Simpson plus wit? ;-) Methinks the laddie liketh not the gridiron game, wot?

Splendid, the way your verse rolls across the lines. And to make Olympus as earthy as your final line - Hera in her own "Rodin's The Thinker" posture, poised as on her own porcelain throne no doubt, zipping Zeus down to size. LOL

Thanks, Marillion!


 Comment Written 20-May-2006


Comment by
Lisloh
 
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Smile...:) LOL....

See here---I knew he'd come back stormin' and fumin'....
Then there's Hera, smiting him still---too funny...
Loved the 'fell in' line... perfect.

Then we have Herc---portrayed as a dense Neanderthal---oh, how far will you go David...?...:)

Now---back to the game....
Thank you for creating this and sharing.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh

Excellent presentation!
Love the enjambment---good show!


 Comment Written 20-May-2006


Comment by
Swtdreamz
 
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He was dispatched by mighty Heracles
who's working out, uprooting redwood trees - herakles- a favorite among myths- cool- you're into greek mythology as well
the ground, which Hera finds amusing since
he's not her son (she says he's just as dense - oo hera the jealous one
A thunder-clap disturbs the mountain air,
and Zeus re-enters with a molten stare - ah his famous thunder bolts
good job


 Comment Written 19-May-2006


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