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Reviews from
Donny Wakes Up


a seventy-five-word story

  7 total reviews 
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
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  Rank:  121
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 Rank:  177
 
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a seventy-five-word story
Donny Wakes Up

Bill Schott Sounds like someone doesn't like to be awaken by the sun blaring in their eyes I'm with you, to prevent the sun wakening them, shut the bind before they go to bed.
Gert


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    Thanks, Gert

reply by Gert sherwood on 05-Jan-2022
    You are welcome Scott
    Gert
Comment by
Jay Squires
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  Rank:  43
 

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It appears you've been lifting a little corner of my mind with your poem, Bill. I have more and more trouble waking up in the morning. Perhaps all in preparation for the long sleep. No? I love your description of the slashing sunbeam. Couldn't you have added 5 more words and entered this in the 80-word contest?


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    Already in that one. I am working on blowing up a moment. Thanks for taking a look, Jay. Congrats on your script-writing award. Choice!

reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    Already in that one. I am working on blowing up a moment. Thanks for taking a look, Jay. Congrats on your script-writing award. Choice!
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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 Rank:  3
 

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Man, that sun is a devious assassin of sleep! He avoids contributing to the solar panels but sneaks in and "slashed an angled slice of light." Loved it! Wish you had this for a contest.
Suggestion:
from the ambitious sun shine (sunshine)


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    Tha nks, Hel en.
Comment by
Tina Crute
 
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I knew there would be a twist at the end, but you surprised me. This is a nice little slice of life. I can feel the warmth in the room from the Sun slashing through the window and also the aggravation when someone's not ready to wake up and wants the sun to go away lol. My favorite line is one that sounds so poetic.. slashed an angled slice of light across his face. Just another interesting ingredient in a warm and entertaining story.
Tina


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    Thank you, Tina, for giving this a look. Bill

reply by Tina Crute on 05-Jan-2022
    Anytime, Bill!
    Tina
Comment by
nomi338
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Oh the many varied, complicated steps life undertakes just to get you up off your lazy behind, so that you might get up, wash, dress, and shave. Then go to work, annoying the general public.


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    Thank you, nomi, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment by
Earl Corp
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Very descriptive story about someone coming out of a night's sleep. Kudos for accomplishing it in under 80 words. I detected No spelling or grammar errors. Very nice job.


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    Thank you, Earl, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment by
BethShelby
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  Rank:  60
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  Rank:  27
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  Rank:  15
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  Rank:  15
 
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Nothing earth-shaking but still a story. Not a bad way to wake up to sunshine. Especially if those energy-generating rays work their magic and give a reason to wake-up.


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022



reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    Thanks, Beth
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