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Donny Finds a Dime


a hundred-and-ten-word story

  8 total reviews 
Comment by
Mary Vigasin
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  21
Review Stars
  Rank:  40
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Some people have an invisible target on their back where nothing goes right for them. Donny cannot afford a bigger car and needs much bigger trousers. The Donnys of the world cannot get a break.
Very well done in telling of this Donny's luck.
Best wishes,
Mary


 Comment Written 07-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2022
    Thank you, Mary
Comment by
2016, 2018 and 2020 Script Writer of the Year
judiverse
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  Rank:  30
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  Rank:  6
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  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  52
 

#6 Ranked Author
#2 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
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Why can't people find the right size of car? When is shop at the supermarket or the stores, there are always large numbers of huge vans and extended cab trucks. Why do people need such large cars? Same thing with the small cars. Only very small people should have them. Was it really worth all that for a dime? Great description of the car and the reach for the dime. judi


 Comment Written 06-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
    Thank you, Judi. Insult to injury, the *dime* was spit.

reply by judiverse on 08-Jan-2022
    You're very welcome. judi
Comment by
nomi338
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  Rank:  54
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  Rank:  45
 
Excellent
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Sometimes we feel that the world is too small for us to fit into it. Sometimes the reverse is the case. Sometimes our senses betray us and we find that all that we presumed to be true was merely an illusion. In fact, all was just a lie, intended to make us feel small and unimportant.


 Comment Written 06-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
    So this is only sometimes?

reply by nomi338 on 06-Jan-2022
    Ideally, yes.
Comment by
Chrissy710
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  Rank:  143 (+1)
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Hi Bill Yuk yuk lol
If there is something I hate is someone spitting in the street or football field
So Donny needs glasses
Ha ha I will give you this you are always entertaining and Glad you didn't go over 110 words it would have spoilt the plot ha ha
Cheers and HNY
Chris


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
    Happy New Year back at you, Chris.
Comment by
Jay Squires
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  Rank:  1
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  Rank:  43
 

#1 Ranked Script Writer!
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I don't know which was worse: the spit on his fingertips or the cool breeze on his crotch. Of course, the spit will dry. This is actually two teeny stories, isn't it? The snugness in the car and the reaching for the dime. But like most all your stories, the reader walks away with a smile on his lips.


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
    Thank you, Jay, for the kind and generous review. Bill
Comment by
Tina Crute
 
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Excellent
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Hahaha and Ewww...Poor guy! Maybe next time he will think twice about picking up money!
What I like about this story:
The large, clear font, the sections of text are even, there are no visible errors and it's just cute! Your descriptive wording of getting in and out of the car...loved it.
Tina


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2022
    Thank you, Tina, for the great review. Bill
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  5
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  1
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  8
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Review Stars
  
 Rank:  3
 

#1 Ranked Author!
#8 Ranked Novelist
#5 Ranked Poet

#3 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
That poor man! And he only wanted a dime and what a price to pay for that dime! It will take more than a dime's worth of thread to fix the pants. I didn't understand why there was "wet spit." The pavement is cold because it's winter? I guess maybe he should walk to work for exercise...


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    I didn?t want to over-explain. The dime was actually spit.
Comment by
BethShelby
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  60
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  27
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  15
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  15
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Poor Donny. His day doesn't get better. Not only is his vehicle a tight fit, his trousers are even tighter. He also has bad eyesight if he can't tell a wad of spit from a dime. Maybe he won't feel so cramped on the way home to change his pants.


 Comment Written 05-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2022
    Thanks, Beth
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