I'm Often Alone But Never Lonely
300 words In Support of Mental Health Awareness Week 		Pays: 10 points.
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Scene at a Croquet Game 6.1

a scene with Pons and Ned

  8 total reviews 
Comment by
2016, 2018 and 2020 Script Writer of the Year
judiverse
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  Rank:  52
 

#6 Ranked Author
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Your cast of characters is longer than the scene. Ned decides he'll quit and just "absurd." He has his usual misinterpretation of words. There doesn't seem to be much enthusiasm on the part of the others, either. Ped says he's tired. Maybe Ded will be the unlikely one to some enthusiasm back to the game. judi


 Comment Written 12-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 12-Jan-2022
    We will see.
Comment by
kiwigirl2821
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Hi Bill

I have to say without reading the rest of the play, there didn't seem to be a lot to this scene. I liked that you began with a list of characters and their names or what they were known for. It's not fair really to judge one piece amongst the whole of the work, but checking in, this is what I got. Take care. Stay safe.

xoxo Kiwi


 Comment Written 11-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
    This one was sparse. Most readers don?t dig back so scene six will be meaningless.
Comment by
nomi338
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I say we call it a draw and like BED, call it a night. I am an old man and all of this physical activity has me all tuckered out and now I am ready to be tucked in. Goodnight all.


 Comment Written 11-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
    Goodnight.
Comment by
robyn corum
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Bill,

I find THAT hard to believe. That guy is the last one I could expect to be bringing LIFE to anything. But I'm still reading and anxious to find out what happens next!


 Comment Written 11-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
    Only good things, except for Zed perhaps.
Comment by
Sally Law
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This sounds more like a weird game of golf with new biblically astute characters. So much fun as I begin my reviewing day. :)) Sending you my best today as always
Sal XOs...


 Comment Written 11-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
    Best-ball Team Croquet
Comment by
BethShelby
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I see we now know all the characters last names. Does this mean Bed not only has narcolepsy but he wets the bed. I thought Ded was there to take away life from the croquet match.


 Comment Written 11-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
    Irony.
Comment by
2020 Recognized Writer of the Year
lyenochka
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It's concerning when Ded, the "angel of death" is taking about bringing "life" to the game. And Red-Zed is suddenly switched to Hawaiian pidgin. Wonder if GED and Hed even know about "Brah."


 Comment Written 10-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
    Brah is used indiscriminately as is *brother* to seriously, casually, or ironically suggest closeness.
Comment by
Jasmine Girl
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Haha. I have never read bible and I know the following is not a biblical verse:
My rod and my staff comfort me.

Croquet game is hard but don't about croak-et match.

Well done.


 Comment Written 10-Jan-2022


reply by the author on 11-Jan-2022
    Thanks, Lisa
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