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Reviews from
Write of Passage


Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Write of Passage-Chapter I"

An Homage to Summer of '42

  33 total reviews 
Comment by
cutie
 
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Jso living words! alive mind's good flows!
so open
so nice
a travel of awakening to the past.......to now!
thks!!


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    Thank you, Charmy.
Comment by
AlvinTEthington
 
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A good poem describing the adolescent rite of passage into male sexuality. The subtle rhyme scheme works well (though, in regards to your author's notes, I am used to seeing capital letters for identity, and lower case for rhyme.) Good use of ironic imagery in Superman. Also, do you mean "Summer of 42" to refer to the adolescent coming of age movie? That was the reference I gleaned. Good work.


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    Thank you, Alvin. "Summer of '42" was a book first, and that was my first source. However, I do love the movie and own it on DVD. Jennifer O'Neal was such a babe.
Comment by
milushka
 
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You frisky Marillion, you. Didn't you outgrow your rites of passage yet? Writs?
I enjoyed the Summer of '42 once again in your verse. The rhythm is just like swaying of waves - a lullaby, into years passed.
Thanks
Milushka


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    Thank you very much, milushka. I hope I never outgrow them. :)
Comment by
Lisloh
 
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Ahhh, puberty---does it ever end for the male gender...?...:)

Looking forward to more of these David.
Enjoyed the humor and lightness of presentation.
The summer of '42 almost threw me though since you were born long after that. Must have been the book, eh?

Thank you for creating this and sharing.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh

Excellent presentation!

I'd sneak the contraband into my room
(beneath my Superman pajama top);
a risky move, but nowhere near as bold
as when I had a Playboy centerfold,
got caught, and saw the purpling face of doom
in Mom, the unofficial porno cop.

Mom's are like that...


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    Thank you, Lisabeth. It's a wonder I survived.

    Yes, it's the book.
Comment by
Bloomer Burbs
 
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  Rank:  329
 
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hi Marillion

Loved the feeling of sentimentality you have exposed in this beautifully written piece.

Very honest and reflective childhood memories which at the time were 'your' whole world, a child growing into an adult.

thought the ending was masterful and very funny. Been there, done that, still remember the very red blushing cheeks, lol

all the best my friend

Peter


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    Thank you, my friend. I appreciate it.
Comment by
Nelliebelle
 
 
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I love your sense of humor. You always have that tongue placed firmly in cheek when you regale us with stories of your youth. I can't wait for more, my friend.


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    Thank you very much, Nellie.
Comment by
Lost Angel
 
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Now this is something completely different, and the work of a true formalist master. It's obvious you know what you're doing, and I sooo appreciate something like this amid the usual fare around this place. Excellent.


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    Thank you, LA.
Comment by
Chelle_GH
 
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I am not a professional writer and now, reading the way he wrote this...made me analyze the measurement etc. and rhyming thing... well, in time,maybe I would learn how...

The essence of the poem flowed spontaneously and smoothly... right words were used to clearly express what the author would want the reader to understand...


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    Thank you very much, chelle.
Comment by
Sallyo
Level 3 Pro
I am Australian.
Therefore, I write like an Australian.
 
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  Rank:  254
 
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Eeeeeeeeeeeeee- you're back! I was snooping in your portfolio just an hour or so ago, looking for a new post and here - dah-dum! it is. I enjoyed the humour in this one... especially that last image of a mini David peering up at a cross female Goliath with a playboy bunny chewing gum in between.


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    It was scary, Sally, and I see my brother chimed in that I told on him as the source. Thank you, my friend. I've been away it seems like forever, but I'll try to stick around a little. Miss your work.

reply by Sallyo on 19-Sep-2006
    I'm doing fairy poetry (don't shudder) and a book at present. Good to see you back.
Comment by
stroke
 
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As always, your so far above the heads of people here that it probably won't receive the accolades it deserves, but what a feat to write like this in such detail. I'll look forward to the rest.


 Comment Written 19-Sep-2006



reply by the author on 19-Sep-2006
    Thank you, stroke.
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