King Wise
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Reviews from
My Enemy, My Friend


This is a romantic story set in a WWII POW camp

  57 total reviews 
Comment by
Daniel Massey
Premier Author
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 1 -
My Enemy, My Friend
Part two? And the name Little Nicky, is also a name for the devil. Maybe, you knew that, and that's why you used it. I think, too, I have learnt something from you.


 Comment Written 17-Dec-2020



reply by the author on 17-Dec-2020
    No, I didn't know 'Little Nicky' was a name for the devil. I knew the last tzar chose to call himself Nicky. I appreciate the six stars, my friend. This isn't part two, you just read the first chapter.
Comment by
Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  355 (+1)
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Review Stars
  Rank:  163
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Prologue -
Into Captivity
Congratulations, Norma. This is fine writing because I felt cold just reading about poor Hans. His injuries are graphic. I have missed some chapters but will try to catch up when I have time. My life is a little chaotic at the moment. I do so enjoy your chapters and learn from them every time, Giddy


 Comment Written 08-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 09-Dec-2016
    I'm still struggling to revise this one, Giddy. It was written about 9 years ago and then I learned it had substantial errors, so I've having to rewrite some of it. May even revise it to first-person, which is easier for POV. Glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing for 2 cents!

reply by Giddy Nielsen-Sweep on 09-Dec-2016
    I am rewriting my memoir over and over so many times just to improve it as I know things have been missed out and I can tell you I'm fed up to the back teeth with it!!! So you have my empathy, :) Giddy
Comment by
Sefiros
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Prologue -
Into Captivity
It was nice for the Russian to give Hans a second chance. The whole resemblance to his brother was a nice touch. I wonder if Volkov will be punished for his actions or his challenge will be passed over as some game from his superiors. Maybe he intends to turn Hans to his side, as he said a recipient of the Iron Cross would be a waste of a good soldier. All in all, a good chapter.


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2016



reply by the author on 28-Nov-2016
    Good review. I appreciate it. Good eye for details, and a good imagination. Thank you.
Comment by
MartinDHall
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Prologue -
Into Captivity
This is very well written, with a flowing narrative (I'll bet you had second thoughts about your protagonist's name, as soon as his hand shook).

A few minor points ... feel free to ignore them, but I didn't need to say that, did I?

"Somewhere a clock ticked off the minutes." Personally, I would have inserted a comma after "Somewhere".

"close clipped dark hair" - perhaps "close-clipped"?

"Volkov pushed his cap back without comment, revealing his close clipped dark hair. A scar ran across his left cheek, livid and disfiguring. Hans took a last puff from his cigarette and stubbed it out in a metal ashtray on the desk.
"I will ask some questions. If you lie, you will regret it. Do you understand?""

Other than the final line being indent a single space, the sense is that it is Hans issuing the ultimatum. This would be avoided for anal readers like me by a restructure:

"Volkov pushed his cap back without comment, revealing his close clipped dark hair. A scar ran across his left cheek, livid and disfiguring.

Hans took a last puff from his cigarette and stubbed it out in a metal ashtray on the desk.

"I will ask some questions. If you lie, you will regret it. Do you understand?""

Early on, Hans introduces himself as "Leutnant" You need to be consistent ... ""I'm only a second lieutenant ...""

To maintain perspective, I would add another separator after "Stoi!" as you're moving from the Russian's perspective to that of Hans.

There are a couple of indents (again by only single space).

You write well.

Cheers,

Martin









 Comment Written 23-Nov-2016



reply by the author on 23-Nov-2016
    Thanks again.
Comment by
WalkerMan
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  Rank:  178
 
Excellent
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Rating of Prologue -
Into Captivity
This is a good introduction to what looks like an interesting book. You define your characters well, present a realistic scenario, and provide plausible dialog, both between characters and within their thoughts. It is heartwarming to find that even during war, those who are officially enemies can still manage to show a degree of respect and humanity lacking in the leaders who created the war. Well done.


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
    American soldiers in WWII were given a booklet called, "In Case You are Captured." I assume Germans got similar advice: Use military courtesy.

    So, for the most part, the German is courteous to his captor.

    Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing.


reply by WalkerMan on 21-Nov-2016
    You are welcome. Who knows whether the Russian soldiers got such advice. Captors generally are not kind. Thus, the bit of humanity shown here stands out and provides reason to read further to see what happens under the banner of the book's title. -- Mike
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
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  Rank:  108
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  Rank:  153
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  39
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Prologue -
Into Captivity
Hi Nor, this is wonderful writing and I can understand all the recognition you are receiving. You are an outstanding writer. As a prologue, I think it is maybe on the long side. Only my opinion of course. I'm looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
    I hate prologues, so I've struggled with this, but it shows the character so well I hate to part with it. It may end up as the beginning of Chapter One when I finally get this old book the way I want it and try self-publishing. Thanks, Ulla.
Comment by
Brett Matthew West
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  Rank:  25 (+1)
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  Rank:  143
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Prologue -
Into Captivity
Prologue addresses the issues to follow in the story.

Good characterizations used throughout the telling of this tale.

Setting the scene during the war increases its interest value for many readers.


 Comment Written 20-Nov-2016



reply by the author on 20-Nov-2016
    Thank you. Nice review.
Comment by
lancellot
Level 1 Pro
The goal in life is to be better today
than you were yesterday.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  95
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  25
Author Rating For Novels
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  Rank:  22
 
lancellot Recommends:
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#1 Ranked Script Writer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Prologue -
Into Captivity
This a very strong prologue. I can see why it was so well received. You are digging deep into your portfolio, I don't remember this book. But I have to read it now.

Very nice.


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016
    It was posted about 9 years ago, Lance. Glad you like it, and thanks for reviewing.
Comment by
KjSilver
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Prologue -
Into Captivity
This was fun. I'm sitting in my recliner reading your story out loud, while attempting my best German accent. Thank God I'm alone. I will follow this story for sure. Great writing.


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016
    Love the image, KJ! Thanks for liking it, for reviewing, and for your reaction to it.
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
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 Rank:  7
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
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#4 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Prologue -
Into Captivity
As usual great characters, great descriptions, great dialogue, just great all around. I am sorry I missed it the first time around, but glad I caught this one.

Leutnant (Lieutenant???)


 Comment Written 19-Nov-2016



reply by the author on 19-Nov-2016
    Thanks again, Barbara.
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