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Reviews from
Dark Tales


Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "A Night In the Black Forest"

A collection of short tales of the supernatural

  60 total reviews 
Comment by
N.K. Wagner
Premier Author
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  Rank:  184
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  Rank:  433
 
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Not much of a proposal, was it?

Bette was having a very bad night with mechanical breakdowns and the storm. Wish you'd told us how she met Hansel.

You do realize, except for the architecture, Germany is a very modern country -- with cell phones and everything.

A very good wewewolf story. :) Nancy


 Comment Written 26-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 27-Mar-2016
    Yes, I realize that. Went there in 2001, possibly before I wrote this. Saw something ironic -- Russian street musicians in Bremen, because they could make more money than they could in Mother Russia.

    But would a werewolf be modern? Hmm... Hansel is a kid's nickname, so why the heck is he calling himself that? Ha-ha. Weird werewolf. Thanks, Nancy.
Comment by
sarahhitch
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I have to say I loved little red riding hood in my younger days, and have read it many times to my children. This story I wouldn't read to them, as they are all under eight.

I really liked it, and could see another chapter, if there isn't already one where he makes her his mate and I think it may be an interesting read, so if you have or if you do decide to please let me know...thanks foe sharing.

Sarahhitch.


 Comment Written 22-Feb-2007



reply by the author on 22-Feb-2007
    I am toying with the idea, because several people have suggested it could be a paranormal romance. Glad you liked it.

reply by sarahhitch on 22-Feb-2007

    As said, if you do write another part to this I will gladly read it.

    Sarahhitch.

Comment by
PatriciaLiteHickman
 
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whew 1st para presents well captures and holds attention throughout; great imagery throughout; well written narrative and dialogue too; hair raising even in the para "Oh God! I remember ,,," what an ending! you could develop this into a novel should you so choose; very good storytelling. nothing to correct; nothing to dislike; this is a strong contest entry and best wishes in it.


 Comment Written 18-Feb-2007



reply by the author on 18-Feb-2007
    Wow, astrolite. So glad you liked my "Hansel and Gretel/Red Riding Hood Meet the Werewolf" tale. Well, he is a likeable wolf, and I might expand on it. Should be fun. I had a lot of fun writing this one, but for weeks it just sat there --until Hansel told me he was a werewolf. Didn't plan it that way, but liked the way it turned out
Comment by
Lynn27
Heart of a poet~
Soul of a writer~
 
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It is me again. I saw this short story that you written. I am seeing what you have been telling me about. I read this slowly and carefuly, I could see how you played around with the words.

Thanks for sharing...

Lynnace27 :)


 Comment Written 18-Feb-2007



reply by the author on 18-Feb-2007
    Actually, it was written and not finished 2 years ago. At that time, it had dialog, so for the contest I chopped the dialog out and wrote an ending. I sort of liked the way it turned out, and glad you did, too.

reply by the author on 18-Feb-2007
    Whoops, I'm not crazy. The reply I just gave you pertained to "It Began with Bloody Cookies." Ugh. This one appears just as originally written a few weeks ago.
Comment by
Penpal
 
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This author wrote this story with amazing detail and kept my interest throughout. I enjoyed the read and found it to be an excellent contest entry.

Sally Saucer


 Comment Written 15-Feb-2007



reply by the author on 15-Feb-2007
    Thanks, Sally. I had fun writing it, after I figured out the hero/villian was a werewolf.
Comment by
Cherish Minnow
 
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Excellent story! I liked how you italicized Bette's thought to distinguish them from spoken comments. Good form.

I kept trying to guess what was going to happen and was truly surprised at the end. A different twist on an old legend.

Your description of scenery really set the mood nicely. I saw nothing upon which to improve.


 Comment Written 07-Feb-2007



reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
    Thanks, Cherish. This started out as Hansel and Gretel, and then it stalled. Finally, Hansel told me how to finish this. Glad you liked it,and appreciate the nice review.
Comment by
dragonqueen1983
 
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i really enjoyed reading this story. its well written and flows well. i found no errors. best of luck with the contest as this is a good entry


 Comment Written 07-Feb-2007



reply by the author on 07-Feb-2007
    Thanks for liking my little fairy tale/horror story. Your review and encouragement are appreciated.
Comment by
merlin13
 
 
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So scary and so real...it kept me sitting on edge ...very well written, with little glimpses of things to come but keeping up the hope that Hansel is just an ordinary man. The story is so well constructed that one gets drawn into the storm and ends up feeling Bette's helplessness...
Really good work! Keep going!
Best,
Merlin13


 Comment Written 06-Feb-2007



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2007
    Well, it was just supposed to be a short story, for a contest, Merlin. So glad you liked it. I may try to do some more of this fractured fairy tale stuff. Have bought some fairy tale books.
Comment by
glo2
 
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Well thanks a lot, Norma--midnight approaches, and I need to go and turn on all the lights, start looking under the beds, make sure I am all alone. Wonderful, scary spooky suspenseful story, had me hanging on all the way through by my canines! Now, I just got to get past that front hallway, it is really dark there.......


 Comment Written 06-Feb-2007



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2007
    Yeah, Glo. You are so funny. You have a big strong son to protect you, though. Thanks for the review.

reply by glo2 on 06-Feb-2007
    He's the one that's hiding.....

Comment by
Lois Delaney
 
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Very good entry nor84! I thought it to be scary.

Mostly, I liked the good grammar, the good imagery and just good old plain writing skills. I think this could be a winner. Best of luck!!!!!!!!


 Comment Written 06-Feb-2007



reply by the author on 06-Feb-2007
    Housemaid, I thank you so much for the great review and the compliments!
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