FanStory.com - Reviews For A Plan Set in Motion

Status

New Here?

Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?

Contests

Share Your Story
Deadline: In 3 Days

Free Verse Poetry Contest
Deadline: Dec 22nd

Christmas Story
Deadline: Dec 25th

Christmas Poetry
Deadline: Dec 25th

75 Words Flash Fiction
Deadline: Dec 30th

Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet:	None
Author:	None
Novel:	None
Reviewer:	None
Votes:	None

Write

Short Story

Poem

Book

Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing

Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "A Plan Set in Motion"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

17 total reviews

Comment by

Lady Waukesha

Review Stars

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

MD,

Okay, here I am. I started at the beginning to refresh my memory and have read every word. You have a smooth, easy-to-read style and I'm loving the story.

One suggestion: Because you introduce so many characters so quickly in the first few chapters, I found that I had to pull out a blank index card and make notes of who was married to who and who was sleeping with who and so forth.

Maybe its just me--but I wonder if you might include a cast of characters as part of the prologue?

Just a thought...

Comment Written 25-Mar-2008

reply by the author on 25-Mar-2008

This is the first time it's been mentioned, but I can see where that could be an issue. I've already run into that issue when I've read other books, too. I'll have to contact my agent and see if that's an acceptable option, Tracy. Sorry about the index card! LOL I'm glad to hear you're enjoying the story, though.

Thanks hugely!

XO

Marjorie

Comment by

sarahhitch

Review Stars

Excellent

HI there Majorie, i enjoyed this chapter, not much more to add to that, sorry...

I found no nits at all.

I am sorry i took my time in reading this.

Sarah.

Comment Written 26-Oct-2007

reply by the author on 26-Oct-2007

Don't be sorry, Sarah. I'm thrilled you're reading the story. Take your time. I hope you enjoy it.

Thanks very much!

Marjorie

reply by sarahhitch on 26-Oct-2007

Thank you, and I am, the site my end seems to be going on a go slow, so I hope you get all the comments I have done.

Sarah.

Comment by

IndianaIrish

Premier Author

Premier Reader

Poet Rating

Rank: 192

Author Rating For Short Works

Author Rating For Novels

Review Stars

Excellent

The accident was nicely done, M, and your ending keeps the reader wanting to turn that page! You really have me wondering what'll happen next...had he called Dana? Was it the Lexus that took him to the motel? Did someone else beat him to the Davis house? I have a feeling the next chapter isn't gonna tell me a thing, right? lol

Smiles,
Indy :>)

Comment Written 26-Oct-2007

reply by the author on 26-Oct-2007

I can't fool you, can I, Indy? Hahahaha All in good time! (I must have a cruel streak.)

Thanks, my friend!

Marjorie

Comment by

azbukivedi

Review Stars

Excellent

Looking for more twists. For now, we already know what and why happened in the prologue. Usually, we dont' want to have the clues to the prologue for a couple of hundred pages. But let's see... :)

Comment Written 20-Oct-2007

reply by the author on 20-Oct-2007

You'll be surprised. I'm betting on it.

I appreciate all your reading and reviewing, Azbukivedi!

Marjorie

Comment by

Tasmin Talbot

Review Stars

Excellent

wow I like this. so now Nick is going to try to kill her. I wonder if he actually manages too though lol. I cannot wait to read more of this exchilerating story

Comment Written 19-Oct-2007

reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007

There are still more surprises to come, Tasmin!

I'm always so glad to hear from you.

Marjorie

Comment by

bookishfabler

Review Stars

Excellent

Sometimes the editor has a mind of its own. What I usually do is post it in regular modd, then set preview, then when editing, go into advanced. This seems to work for me.
Okay, yes, the story is still moving forward. Great job
hugs
book

Comment Written 19-Oct-2007

reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007

It sounds like I've got some "editor" issues I didn't catch. I'll go back and check it out, Book.

Thanks!

Marjorie

Comment by

hyway94

Review Stars

Excellent

This one should put you up to that # 1 spot just has soon as I get out of it, don't laugh to hard. This story is really getting better with each chapter. Good luck!

Comment Written 18-Oct-2007

reply by the author on 18-Oct-2007

I'm so glad you feel that way, Charlie. I hope you continue to enjoy the story as much with every chapter. Just let me know if you find something that doesn't work right.

Thanks!

Marjorie

Comment by

Pit Bull Mom

Review Stars

Excellent

LOL! I often have the double-spacing problem myself, Marjorie. I don't see any nits or SPAG in this chapter, either. I enjoyed the cliff-hanger ending, and I'm assuming the next chapter will be from someone else's POV, to keep the reader wondering what happens next to Valerie Davis a bit longer.

Great chapter.

I'm off to Chapter 8's L&K!

Heather

Comment Written 17-Oct-2007

reply by the author on 17-Oct-2007

Right you are, Heather! Gotta' keep everyone guessing.

Now I'd better start preparing Chapter 9 for L&K.

Thanks again!

Marjorie

Comment by

Dave M

Review Stars

Excellent

Marjorie,

As you said, the plot thickens. But I think Nick is a bit slow in the head. If Dana is going to two-time her current boyfriend, why wouldn't she do the same to Nick. In fact, I expect this.

You did a good job of creating Nick as a weak individual. We'll see how this turns out.

I didn't find any spags.

Dave M

Comment Written 16-Oct-2007

reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007

Thanks very much, Dave. I'm very glad you're following the story. I appreciate your feedback ... a lot!

Marjorie

Comment by

ransomme

Review Stars

Excellent

I give up trying to figure it out. You are doing a great job of keeping the reader interested. Any one of the characters could be the killer. Mind boggling.

Comment Written 16-Oct-2007

reply by the author on 16-Oct-2007

The primary suspects are all lined up now. I promise not to bring any more into the mix, but I do promise you more surprises.

I'm so happy to have you following the story, Ransomme! Thank you.

Marjorie

reply by ransomme on 16-Oct-2007

It is my pleasure Marjorie believe me.

-1- 2 Next Page

Market your book.
Advertising options.

O Sweet Blue
A Spenserian Love Sonnet

Follow @FanStory

Status

Contests

Writing Classes

Rank

Recommended

Categories

Write