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Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing


Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Trouble on a New Front"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

  24 total reviews 
Comment by
Ambrosia_Babe
 
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HEY BABE,


"Well, except for that small marshy patch I got nearer the lake


OKAY SO IMNOT REVIEWING EVERY CHAPTER BUT I AM READING THEM .

I DO SO LOVE IT WHEN WE I READ A STORY AND THE FINAL RESTING PLACE OF THE CRIUTIAL PIECE OF EVIDENCE OR WHAT NO HAVE YOU IS REVEALED IN AN ALMOST SUBLIMINAL MANNER IN THE EARLY STAGES OF THE BOOK.

WELL I'M ASSUMING THAT IS WHY YOU SLIPPED THE ABOVE IN.. IF NOT.. YOU HAVE AN OUT IF YOU NEED IT !



hey i just got to teh bottomand read your authors note. as i've get to see what comes- and i'm pretty good at prediciting thngs well in advance. i'm not inthe least surprised this chapter has a purpose. and caontain the vital piece of information.

coming along brilliantly!!!

have you tried to send this off to editors outside of the states? smaller publishing houses that deal with this genre?

xxabxx:)


 Comment Written 11-Dec-2007



reply by the author on 11-Dec-2007
    I've got an agent for this book, but, so far, no luck. Once I've put each chapter through Lock and Key and polished off the remaining rough edges, I'll send the entire thing to her. I'm hoping it may help.

    I'm excited that you're enjoying the story. Thanks tons, AB!

    Marjorie

reply by the author on 11-Dec-2007
    I've got an agent for this book, but, so far, no luck. Once I've put each chapter through Lock and Key and polished off the remaining rough edges, I'll send the entire thing to her. I'm hoping it may help.

    I'm excited that you're enjoying the story. Thanks tons, AB!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Pooka
 
 
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This chapter was funny! LOL! Loved the lines in it, the interaction between Neil and Kramer and is a nice contrast with a lot of potential for future hooks if I'm reading it right... actually, I almost thought maybe city kid Nick mistook a deer for a cow. That chapter was a good one two - the one with Nick going to Widmer. Chapter 8 seemed a bit forced... good, but a few times there was a bit of repetition or belaboring of things.
Still enjoying this ride quite a bit!
Best Wishes,
Pooka, going on to chapter 10 :)


 Comment Written 30-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 30-Nov-2007
    I'm so glad you liked it, Pooka. Please, don't ever be afraid to offer suggestions when you come across something like you mentioned. I genuinely appreciate constructive criticism.

    Thanks a million, Pooka!

    Marjorie
Comment by
davidray
 
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I particularly enjoyed this one.I for one wouldn't ever call anything you write irrelevant. I know there is a reason for this. Same with my writing. Just wait ... I say. Some humous sections, some very good dialogue.
One little blip:
-Hank Kramer wouldn?t appreciate his sense of humor anyway (Would 'didn't' be better to use than 'wouldn't?)
Great job, Marjorie. :)


 Comment Written 31-Oct-2007



reply by the author on 31-Oct-2007
    I appreciate the vote of confidence, David! This is one of the chapters I particularly enjoyed writing ... probably because of the humor. I don't really like killing people off. Sometimes it's just necessary. Hahaha

    Re: wouldn't/didn't -- I used wouldn't because Neil decided against making a joke. So, it wasn't that Hank Kramer didn't appreciate his sense of humor, it was a case of knowing he wouldn't appreciate it.

    I've got to get to bed. 1:30 a.m. Yikes!

    Muchas gracias!

    Marjorie
Comment by
IndianaIrish
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  Rank:  197
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Your humor shines in this chapter, M, and makes us rest a bit before you sock it to us, huh? I like old coots....LOL...so I liked your Mr. Kramer. Gonna tell us more about that marshy spot??

Smiles,
Indy :>)


 Comment Written 30-Oct-2007



reply by the author on 30-Oct-2007
    Believe it or not, Indy, it is relevant to the rest of the story. All will be revealed in time. Honest!

    Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you're along for the ride.

    Marjorie
Comment by
sarahhitch
 
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I keep thinking the cow must play a part in this somehow, okay he's not the policemans side kick, but important all the same.

Maybe the killer took the cow to practice on...lol...you never know..

Sarah.


 Comment Written 26-Oct-2007



reply by the author on 26-Oct-2007
    Maybe I used the cow as a "red herring". No, no! That's not it, I swear, Sarah!

    I'm sure glad I know what's going on. LOL

    Thank you, my friend!

    Marjorie

reply by sarahhitch on 26-Oct-2007
    I just thought it might be, you never know, well you do...lol...

    Will read on and see what happens.

    Sarah.
Comment by
azbukivedi
 
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Oh, I wouldn't think for a second that it's an irrelevant chapter. I know you too well by now (well, as an author :)) ). I just want to see what happens next. You are making this quite interesting.


 Comment Written 20-Oct-2007



reply by the author on 20-Oct-2007
    That's great to hear! Keep going. Thanks.

    Marjorie


reply by azbukivedi on 20-Oct-2007
    OK, I am caught up and have you on my fan list. I am good! :))

    Have you read my story "The Face"? (it's listed #6 right now).
    I'd love to know your opinion.
    Thanks.
    Sara

reply by the author on 20-Oct-2007
    I'll try to read it before I go to bed tonight. I'm looking forward to it, Sara.
Comment by
mslink1
 
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?You?ve got ''a lot of'' acres here. I don?t (have many or lots of--you use this phrase,''a lot of'' later in the story)
?Couldn?t find your own ass with two hands and a map, I suspect.?(lol, this sounds just like something a true framer might say)
None of my cows ever ''wander(s)'' near there.(when used with a plural, Marjorie, should it not be pluralized? I'm just asking...
This is a very earthy chapter. My g-daughter was here with I read the one yesterday about the lost cow, but I was in a hurry. Yes, the cow did catch me off a little, but actually it keeps the story intriguing. Mary



 Comment Written 19-Oct-2007



reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007
    Yeah, I was kind of worried that the cow came out of left-field. (Hahaha No pun actually intended!) It is important, though.

    None of my cows ever ''wander(s)'' near there. -- In this case, the verb modifies"none". So it would read: None ever wander near there.

    The location of the cow will be divulged in an upcoming chapter, Mary.

    Thanks much!

    Marjorie

reply by mslink1 on 19-Oct-2007
    Thanks for the english lesson because I knew you would be right, but wanted to know why:) lol--That sounds awful when I read it back, but tis the truth. Hugs, Mary
Comment by
Tasmin Talbot
 
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hmmm something to think about when i just read your notes. i really really really hope you publish this into a book and in real life put it for sale.


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2007



reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007
    Oh, I'd sure like that! I'm really trying, Tasmin. That's part of the reason I'm posting this book here. With the help of everyone here, I'm hoping to polish it to the point that some publisher will want it.

    Keep your fingers crossed for me.

    Marjorie

reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007
    Oh, I'd sure like that! I'm really trying, Tasmin. That's part of the reason I'm posting this book here. With the help of everyone here, I'm hoping to polish it to the point that some publisher will want it.

    Keep your fingers crossed for me.

    Marjorie
Comment by
Honus X Heppablatte
 
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This is a fascinating write. Your voice is unique and you spin this yarn with grace and dignity. This is softly rendered but comes across with a force more powerful than nature. This was my pleasure to have reviewed. Thanks for posting it here at fanstory.


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2007



reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007
    Thank you so much for your wonderful comments, Honus. I'm honored by your reaction. I hope you'll continue to enjoy the upcoming chapters.

    Marjorie
Comment by
bookishfabler
 
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I actually loved this chapter. Mr. Kramer is quite a character.

in search of Hank Kramer?s missing four-legged milk container. (Loved this description. LOL)

?Couldn?t find your own ass with two hands and a map, I suspect.?

(You really have some great lines in this one, darling)

Some great stuff.
hugs
book


 Comment Written 19-Oct-2007



reply by the author on 19-Oct-2007
    Hank Kramer won a place in my heart, Book. Some characters just do that for me.
    He's old and cantankerous, but not totally unlikable ... in my opinion. He's just one of those "people" who is what he is and makes no apologies for it.

    I can't tell you how glad I am you're still reading and enjoying the story. Thank you, Book!

    Marjorie
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