Hey Marjorie - another great chapter! I had only one note that stuck out with me.
"Super Glued" - are you sure that shouldbe capitalized?? The term super-glued has become a "common" and "everday" reference. Unless you're specifically referring to the brand of adhesive (which isn't so, since it's not a noun here), then I don't believe it should be capitalized. It's like the word Goggle vs. googled.
Anyway, other than than, I found this chapter well written and smooth.
Great job! Off to the next one.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2007
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2007
That's been fixed. LOL I took the easy way out and removed "super" from the picture altogether. It wasn't necessary. It's "outta' there"!
This was a very good chapter in a continuing story. I was able to follow, even though I haven't read all the previous chapters. The waitress character is realistic. You use dialogue very well here. I'm very curious as to what is going to be discovered, and what started the fight between Ray and Neil. Kept my interest all the way through.
I found no errors.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2007
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2007
It's great hearing you enjoyed this chapter, Sandollar. Thanks so much for your terrific review and excellent rating. I definitely appreciate your time and effort!