FanStory.com - Reviews For Kramer

Status

New Here?

Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?

Contests

Faith Poetry Contest
Deadline: Tomorrow!

3 Line Poetry Contest
Deadline: Jan 28th

Horror Writing Contest
Deadline: Jan 31st

Dialogue Only Writing Contest
Deadline: Feb 2nd

Tanka Poetry Contest
Deadline: Feb 3rd

Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet:	None
Author:	None
Novel:	None
Reviewer:	None
Votes:	None

Write

Short Story

Poem

Book

Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Kramer"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

23 total reviews

Comment by

IndianaIrish

Premier Author

Premier Reader

Poet Rating

Author Rating For Short Works

Author Rating For Novels

Review Stars

Rank: 432

Excellent

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Oh, I like this cranky old coot! Any old fogey who has the time to grin and wink at a little kid is okay in my book, no matter what a turd he is! LOL

Indy :>)

Comment Written 21-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2007

LOL

Thanks, Indy!

Comment by

bookishfabler

Review Stars

Excellent

Sorry this took so long. If you are a way for a few days with no computer, the messages pile in. This was a great chapter. I really like the simple opart when no one was looking he smiled and winked at the kid. You open his personality. Great job
hugs
book

Comment Written 13-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 13-Nov-2007

Poor old Kramer needed some "humanizing". I could just picture him doing that.

Thanks again, Book!

Comment by

ransomme

Review Stars

Excellent

Oh my! Is this the end of the road for poor old Mr. Kramer? I shudder to think about it. I am afraid of what's going on in that barn. Very intriguing and a great place to leave the reader wondering. This makes the reader anxious to see what is happening in the next chapter, won't be able to put the book down. Great job!

Comment Written 11-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 11-Nov-2007

Yippee! That's music to my ears, Ransomme!

Thank you.

Comment by

cjvaughn

Review Stars

Excellent

Nice job making Kramer more human with the wink and grin for the little girl. You've done well showing us this man and his mindset, but he still has some goodness left in his heart.
Ha! I could die of old age waiting in line while the three of you waste my time with your useless chatter.? LOL!
I enjoyed reading and getting to know Kramer more.
Nice flow and fun to read.
No SPAG I could see.
Hugs, CJ

Comment Written 09-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2007

I'm glad I succeeded to making Kramer a little more palatable, CJ. Thanks loads, girl!

Marjorie

Comment by

hyway94

Review Stars

Excellent

Hank ain't that bad, he just sure enough had a bad day at the farm.The question's are, what was the noise? Will he live another day? Watch for the next chapter. You're doing just fine. Have to go to the next one. Bye.

Comment Written 09-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2007

Thanks, John! I'm awfully glad you're following along.

Marjorie

Comment by

davidray

Review Stars

Excellent

Wonderful, Marjorie. This guy Kramer has got lots of character. Add something to every lifehe's in contact with. Well done. Dialogue and description is beautiful A couple nits:

-The first woman threw an angry glance his way then, holding her daughter in one arm, she took her groceries in the other. (This sentence is a bit difficult to read. I know it could read as one, but ther ehas to be one slight alteration to read smoothly.)

-She checked his selections with all possible haste and bade him a simple, curt ?Goodbye.? (Is there a period after 'curt'? Just wondering.)
Good cruising.....

Comment Written 09-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 09-Nov-2007

Thank you, David. I'm glad you see more in Kramer than a crusty, cynical man.

Later.

Marjorie

Comment by

Lois Delaney

Review Stars

Excellent

Hi Marjorie,
I really liked this chapter. There was just one thing that threw me as I was reading. I don't know if it's just me, but the part about -- could have been mistaken for a sheep -- didn't work for me. I had to reread it a couple of times to finally get the idea of what you were saying. Of course, I'm tired as I read this, so that might be the reason behind it all but I don't care for that phrase at all. That was the only thing I felt didn't fit. Great job otherwise.

Comment Written 07-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2007

LOL It's out of there! It wasn't my favorite line either. I left in the sound effect, reorganized the order of the wording and got rid of the comment.

Thanks for the feedback, Housemaid! I appreciate your input.

Marjorie

Comment by

a1940sFan

Review Stars

Excellent

Another gem of a chapter, Marjorie. I loved the way Kramer is such a horror until he gets with his cows and with them he's gentle and soothing. Go figure! ha

What in the world is going on with his bull! You sure know how to keep the suspense up! Great hook!

Looking forward to the next chapter!

Comment Written 07-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2007

In Chapter 23, we're headed back into the investigation. (Still more surprises to come in upcoming chapters.)

You're so encouraging! Thanks, Marcia. You're a doll.

Marjorie

Comment by

mslink1

Review Stars

Excellent

You know, I don't know about others, but I like Kramer. I think he's a great side character. You are developing him into a well like person--in my opinion. I seen no spags just good writing. Mary

Comment Written 07-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2007

Not everyone likes Kramer as well as you, but I'm on your side. He's awfully crusty, but I like him anyway.

Thanks, Mary!

Marjorie

reply by mslink1 on 07-Nov-2007

Yes, he is, but to me that makes him more realistic--''my opinion.''

Comment by

Annmuma

Review Stars

Excellent

Hold's the reader's interest from start to finish with a real hook to make sure one's turns the page for the next chapter. Very well written. Saw no spag issue. Good story. I love the line: "Long years of practice turned his muttering into a fine art." I know a lot of people who share that 'fine art.'

Keep writing.

Comment Written 07-Nov-2007

reply by the author on 07-Nov-2007

It's one of my favorite lines regarding Hank. The next chapter may be out tonight sometime.

Thank you, Ann!

Marjorie

-1- 2 3 Next Page

Market your book.
Advertising options.

St. Louis Chapter 21 part 1
Can McKenzie solve Megan Nelson?s murder?

Follow @FanStory

Status

Contests

Writing Classes

Rank

Recommended

Categories

Write