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Reviews from
'Dear' Crossing


Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "On the Trail"

An investigation into a grisly death in Widmer, MN

  25 total reviews 
Comment by
Lady Waukesha
 
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Excellent
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uh-oh...it was only a matter of time before they figured it out. i knew Nick was going to get busted for this!

I'm loving it! I would buy this book--it's just the sort of thing I read every night in bed.

Good writing...good dialogue...good way to pull the reader through the story, discovering clues right along with the police. Nothing to criticize. ( Sorry.)


 Comment Written 29-Mar-2008



reply by the author on 29-Mar-2008
    Darn! And I was soooo hoping you'd rip it to shreds! LOL

    Tracy, thanks loads. You rock!

    Marjorie

Comment by
IndianaIrish
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  192
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Well, they are on the trail...to finding Nick at least but not the killer. I like Neil...he's gonna make a great cop. On to the next chapter...


 Comment Written 21-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 21-Nov-2007
    Yeah, he's a real good guy.

    Thanks!
Comment by
catydid52
 
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Excellent Marjorie! It has my attention and can't wait to read more. I like this sentence, since you don't see this word very often ...hieroglyphics. A nice way of describing someone's scribblings.

Neil struggled to make out the ?hieroglyphics? in his hand.

Schuster noisily hocked up a disgusting chunk of phlegm and spit it into a wastebasket. ?Whole thing?s shameful.?

And so is this particular body habit....lol


 Comment Written 14-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 14-Nov-2007
    LOL It helped make Schuster about as inviting as his motel.

    Thanks much!

    Marjorie
Comment by
bookishfabler
 
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I'm not very good at the advise part with your book, I love your characters and how they jump off the page so to speak, down to the old man behind the desk, from those two women in the other chapter. Yiou reallu give this a small town feel. Great job.
Hugs
book


 Comment Written 13-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 13-Nov-2007
    That's great to 'hear', Book. I grew up in a very small town, so it's not a hard thing for me to convey.

    Have a super day!

    Marjorie
Comment by
medisec
 
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Well, Marjorie, I had this review almost done, then we had a power outage due to windstorms in the Pacific Norwest for 3 hours. I've also been suffering for 3 days with a bad back, so this will explain my tardiness in getting to these reviews (23 of them!)

This chapter's pace is moved along with its great dialogue. Your use of metaphors is exceptional and I'm amazed how you get all these tiny details to stay forefront in your mind so they're pieced together so well. I'm still wanting to know what happened to the ol' farmer! Great job.

One nit (although just a suggestion):

gotta(') I don't think the apostrophe is req'd here; it's just slang the way it is.

Rae


 Comment Written 12-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 12-Nov-2007
    The apostrophe's gone. I'm glad YOU'RE not anymore. Hopefully, your back's improving right along ... sure do hope so!

    By the time you read this, you may have already found out the information about Hank Kramer.

    Thank you, Rae. Get better!

    Marjorie
Comment by
Honus X Heppablatte
 
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You got this one down perfectly, like sinking the cosmic eight ball in Gods corner pocket. You ran the table with this one and I loved watching the master strokes that you laid down. Great stuff.


 Comment Written 12-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 12-Nov-2007
    Even your reviews read like five-star postings, Honus! Thank you so much.

    Marjorie
Comment by
HealingMuse
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  Rank:  37
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  Rank:  16
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  Rank:  597
 
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Hi Marjorie,

Yippeeeee - another very well written, intriguing chapter!

HA HA HA - author's notes...

Nicely done.

Nothing amiss here...

Hurrying off to read the next installment! (G)

Thanks for sharing.

WRITE ON,

Jan


 Comment Written 12-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 12-Nov-2007
    I will! I'll write on and on and on and .... LOL

    Thanks a lot, Jan!

    Marjorie
Comment by
ransomme
 
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Hot trail but not the right one! I am still wondering what got into that bull and who else was in that barn. Can't stop now must keep reading. Well done my friend!


 Comment Written 11-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 11-Nov-2007
    Yes, read! Read! LOL

    Thanks, Ransomme. You're a peach!

    Marjorie
Comment by
TomandOma
 
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'Schuster, ' huh? Are you sure that wasn't Shyster? What an excellent naming of that character, but I guess we won't be seeing him again? Nice touch, though.

You still have all your little ducks in a row, and I don't see any spag, changes in POV or anything else to carp about; it looks like this is ready to print, so I'm outta here to see what happens next.
Scribble, scribble, scribble, Ms. Gibbons; I'm always awaiting the next chapter.

ATB, Doris


 Comment Written 11-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 11-Nov-2007
    You're right, Doris, Schuster is out of the picture. I'm particularly glad to hear you didn't see any POV glitches. That's a downfall of mine.

    Okay, then! Thanks. Later!

    Marjorie
Comment by
sarahhitch
 
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Now would you do that to us readers, now I know you better than that...lol...

I liked this chapter Marjorie it was well written and we feel they may be on the right path, yet we know they are not....

I am looking forward to reading on, thanks for sharing.

Sarah.


 Comment Written 11-Nov-2007



reply by the author on 11-Nov-2007
    LOL

    Thank YOU, Sarah.

    Marjorie

reply by sarahhitch on 11-Nov-2007
    You're more than welcome, I know he is not the killer and I just can't work out who it might have been. I guess I will have to wait and see.

    Sarah.
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